I'm caught in between perfect lies and impossible dreams

[Mood: Kinda Bored]

[Music: Lifehouse - Blind]

It was suppose to be sweet,

But currently it just seems messy,

Maybe I need to get my priorities straight,

It's time to rearrange again,

Cause I can't go on livin in a daydream.

The truth usually suxz,

So here I am again,

Talkin to myself,

Tryin ever so hard to find,

Courage,

Strength,

Support,

Will,

And all of that,

I need it all rite nowz,

Just to get by the day.

Confusion seems to take over just way too much lately,

It's been kinda overwhelming sometimes,

I really don't know where to go from here.

Tears Durin The Bitter Rain

[Mood:Emo]

[Music: Marion Raven - Break You]

Lookin at the sky,

It looks rather beautiful as evening turns to night,

The light hits it just right and it looks ever so lovely,

But how many out there lookin at the same beauty with tears in their eyes,

How many have lost someone at that very moment,

Or just have been broken hearted,

And those that have the thought of breakin someone's heart in that very night.

Those that can't stand the world and have suicide in their thoughts,

There are people out there who have lost hope in much,

And can't bare the truth cause it seems so bitter,

Cause somethin so beautiful turned into a hell of a nightmare within a day,

It's sad when you know so much goes on under the same beautiful sky,

So much tears and pain,

Screams that can't be heard,

And a broken heart behind a beautiful smile,

So be nice to everyone you meet,

Cause they're fighting a battle you know absolutely nothing about.

Throwin away every bit of regret

[Mood: Sadly Cheery]

[Music: The Veronicas - Everything I'm Not]

I definately am in need of a distraction,

Cause my emotions are in a whirlwind,

My head is spinning with questions,

And the answers never seem to be good enough

At first I thought am gonna kill the way I really feel with anger,

But that made me feel bitter,

Then I tried running away away from it,

By burying it anyway I can,

But that made it feel worse,

Later I realized I might as well face it nowz,

Cause sooner or later it's gonna get to me,

So for the last few dayz I've decided to face the way I feel,

And deal with it all,

So far it's goin fine,

Cause it's not somethin that hasnt happened before,

And it's not somethin new,

It's a repeat of history,

That happened just way too soon.

Sometimes you have to see the worst,

To apperieacte the bad.

Unoffical Vaca

[Mood: Relaxed]

[Music: Jack's Mannequin - Dark Blue]

Am on unoffcial vaca cause am currently waiting for my new shipment of cd's to come.So on Monday I watched the Oscars live in the morning which was bout 9 A.M and catched the red carpet at night with the family...okies more like they were forced to watched it with me.The Oscars was kinda simple this year.Reese Witherspoon definately wore the best dress.Total vintage! It seems it was some vintage Dior she found in Paris and her friend helped fix it and all ( read it somewhere :P) And the worse must have been Michelle Williams,tht horrible lookin yellow thing..lol...even Charlize Theoron's dress looked weird....the Best song winner was kind of a disappointment expected the track of Brokeback mountain or Memoris of Geisha to win...also thought Brokeback Mountain would win for the movie of the year..*sheesh*..this year's Oscar's was definately borin.....well I plan to watch Brokeback Mountain..I soo wanna watch that..also "Walk the Line","Memoirs of a Geisha" and Munich..I saw the DVD that day but didnt get it.....

Watched Lost at nite.It was good.Seems to be gettin more intersting,hope I'll be able to keep up with it but AXN alwayz has loadz of repeats so I don't think tht'll be a problemo....Didn't do notta much on Tuesday..my rountine these past two dayz and will be for probably the entire week.....wake up around 8,read the paper and listen to the radio till bout 10,watch tv and babysit bro till bout noon.Have lunch,catch up on some readin,be bored durin the evening and watch tv at nite yetz again....am not totally bored outz from this rountine but I definately can't take more then a week of this.....

Am currently showing a bit of interst on the "O.C".Been watchin for 2 weeks in a row but sadly it's not as intersting as One Tree Hill.Guess am still a loyal OTH fan.....

It's All Good

[Mood: Tragically Bored]

[Music: Fall out Boy - Sugar We're Goin Down]

And so my internet has been down for the last couple of dayz and all.So heres an update on my weekend...

Friday was a blast.Went to skool durin break which was pretty late.Kc was there and all.So it was our usual group hangin outz.Kc and I spent practically the whole day talkin bout boyz,boyz and more boyz...lolz...thank goodness I didnt get the " I told you so or didnt I tell this would happen" from either of them.They were totally darlin's and were really supportive and all.But they did hint a little..lol....Check this outz-->

Esther: See thats why I told you say no.You alwayz don't listen to me....

Kc: Well she wanted her own experience in this and she sure learned something.

Me: *Grinz*......Yea thts true.....And in my head *** HELL YEAH!! Of Course I gained experience and learned something from all that....DUH.......maybe I should rethink this whole method of experince gaining wisdom thing.......***

Chapel was okies,the new teacher took over this time.It was ok-ish...Headed home at bout 4 and continued with my "Memoirs of a Gesisha" which is really good btw.Do read it if you get the chance.Very intersting...

My parents decided to go watch "Pink Pather" at nite.So I decided to book the tickets and it actually worked!! Had dinner at Secret Recipe which is one of my fav restaurants! The movie was hilarious but the story was pretty simple.Steve Martin is a darn good comediean......

You know I learned that day that good friends alwayz find their way back to each other.Even after much bickerin and bitchin and all of that.You'll find that you're much closer than before and you just know you'll have each others back.Guess that's one of the many cool parts of life.

The rest of my weekend was spent in front of the tv with a pile of DVD's and quite a bit of babysitting to do.But it was all good.It was a simple but good weekend.

Can't wait to see what the week has in store for me!

Let The Rain Fall Down And Wake My Dreams

[Mood: Confused]

[Music: Evanescene - Goin Under]

Everything happens for a reason.

Things fall apart and can fall into place.

Don't question it, just let it happen.

If it`s meant to be, it will find a way

We live an unforgiving world,
Where we strive to learn,
And hurt for love,
Where nothing can last,
And where forever has no meaning,
We die to live,
And live to die,
We fight for love that takes a lifetime to find,
Where innocence takes a whole new meaning,
And evolves through time.
Where goals seem to be priorities,
And love becomes meaningless,
Where running seems to be unstoppable,
And drowning is just another hobby,
Where crying is an hourly activity,
And heartbrokenness just another trend.
Heartless is what this world is,
Where nothing seems to live with time.

Looking for a Saviour to save my soul,

Cause all the damage I've done has left a big hole.

Experience is one hell of a hard teaher

[Mood: Sleepy]

[Music: The Veronicas - Everything I'm Not]

Looks like I've judged you right yetz again,

Now I know why I've been feelin weirdly emo and all today mornin,

My heart has alwayz been right bout you,

And this must been the milliontieth time I ignored the message.

My current nickname on msn is "Experience is one hell of a hard teacher,it gives you the test first and the lesson later.I had no idea this morning why in the world I put it there but now I do.

It weirds cause this time am not in a puddle of tears.

It's just another lesson learned.

And am definately gonna pick up from this.

P.S: Next time Esther remind me to listen to you or hit me in the head if you have too dear! LOL

MUAX~

I'm Gonna Muster Every Ounce of Confidence I Have,For You I Will

[Mood: Very Happy]

[Music:Teddy Geiger - For You I Will(Confidence)]

Yesterday was one hell of nice day.Well I went to school bout 10:00 something.The new place isnt that great..I miss the old place loadz..guess cause of the old memories of running around a lotz there and all.The lunch place just looks sad and the environment is plain borin ...anywayz..it was nice to see all the old people there and meet some new ones too.Check out this conversation I had with Esther...

** Readin Sense and Sensibility**

Esther: You know I've known you for quite some time know and I can totally describe you.

Me: Really?? Shoot

Esther: You like listening to punk music and you look partially punk.But inside your totally classic.

Me: And why's that?

Esther: Look what you're readin

Me:LOL...That's one intersting description

She alwayz comes up with some intersting stuff usually.It was nice to see her after quite a while.Sadly Kc wasnt there..kinda miss her...chapel was okies.We played a couple of weird games...lol....Vitto was completely weird the whole day,his gone from bad to worse lately.He was goin around huggin everyone and spreadin the love I guess...BizZaRe!...

After that,Sheryln,my sis and I waited for Jarett to get to skool and we headed to Pyramid.There was heavy trafic and I was kinda nervous in the car and cause I kept checkin my watch everyone minute..lolz...reached there kinda late and I was a bundle of nerveous cause my bf walked rite past me twice and I didnt ever notice him..talk bout super blur!..and then I called him to ask where he was and he was like "Am rite in front of you ".LOL.

We went to watch "Dick and Jane".Quarter of the movie was gone by the time we went in and all.After that we went to Mc'ds and had partial lunch or tea I think..lolz..it was really cute cause we kept feedin each other and all(:P)....after that we just walked around and talked....I had a blast.This was my offcial 1st date and baby thankz for makin it memorable.I had a great time!

When am in your arms,

It just feels ever so right,

I've never really been in love,

But this time,I know I definately am.

I love you baby boy!

The Partial Mid Week

[Mood: Casually bored]

[Music:Tyler Hilton - That's How Love Should Be]

Well Ppl its the mid week,nearly the mid week.My weekend was quite,more like too quite and all.Haven't been out much lately.Sadly....

So the good news is I finished the school work and I need to do and all and am officialy free!! Am a free person!

Which is a such relief after one hell of a hectic week that consisted of late nights and lookin dead every mornin and all.

Besides that,theres nothin much goin on lately.The usually stuff.But usually at quite times of the month such as these,I'll be rather emo and all but I have been in a very happy go lucky mood lately.It's just that somethin's been keepin me very happy lately and am just real glad.

That's pretty much it.I guess.

Well am gonna find somethin 2 do....

"Am gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have,For You I Will BabY"

There goes another Valentine

[Mood: Dreamy]

[Music: Lifehouse - Take Me Away]

Its Valentines ppl.The prices of roses raised to the higgest possible,boxes of chocolates on speacial sales(best part ever!),every restaurant havin some sort of promotion and people dancing aorund with love ringing in the air.It's a real speacial day.

My valentine started out disastrous,precisely at 12.First I thought it was a joke,then I got hit by reality,into a state of shock,drama followed and then it ends up sweet in its on little way.Long story PpL......anywayzz....I spent my morning with my baby boy,which was real fun,I really enjoy our conversations.He alwayz has his own little way of makin me smile and I love that bout him.He somehow brigtens my day.Sadly I can't go out with him today and all.Sorry bout that baby!

Well besides that,I've been studying and just hanging around listening to music the usual.Nothing much really.

Valentine's Day isn't just bout being in love but it's also appericiating your friendships.So to all my friends,Thankz for alwayz being there,Love you guyz loadz!!!

~HapPy VaLenTine's Day Ya'LL~

P.S:ThankZ For The Note on Friendster Vitz,ReallY Apperaicate it!!!

I'm like a bird and I need to fly away

[Mood: Complicated]
[Music: Ashlee Simpson - Just Let Me Cry]

I'm like a bird,
And I do wanna fly away,
Can't stick around here for too long,
Gotta get out of here.

I know there's more
And this was definately not for me,
But when your bored,
You turn to your last resolutions.

I just relieased that I had the opportunity,
But I threw it away,
Please throw another my way,
I promise I won't be so blind.

This has been killin my free spirit,
And my fun lovin side,
As it is am the complicated one in it
And I don't need confusion in the middle of it all.

Gotta get out,
Gotta find an escape route,
Gotta run away,
From all this complicated misery.

Highlights

[Mood: Sleepy]

[Music: The Pros and Cons of Breathing - Fall Out Boy]

Well it's been a pretty uneventful week.There has been a bit of drama here and there though.As you all know,my life is addicted to drama.I've been doing a lotz of studying lately though maybe because I've been procrastinating a lotz and all...long story...and so know my mum has given some time limit to finish up my work and all.*Sheesh*

Other than that,there's been notta much.Oh and the highlight of the week is...I dont have to do PMR!!..which is good news since I pay no attention at tuition and all.Tht's cause it's just way to early for me.The teacher notices that I guess.....cause I alwayz like am about to sleep on the table anytime soon...

I'll most probably be goin to skool next Fri.I know you guyz....I've been saying next week for quite a while nowz but it'll definately be next fri.I know you wanna kill me for that Vitto!!...LOL...I miss you lotz darlin'!!!...And this goes to Esther as well..since she wants to kill me as well.....am victimazed too much..if theres such a word...

Well ppl I gotta go attend to some science crap...I hate that freakin subject....speacially if it has to do with memorizing cell names...fuck....

~MuaX~

The Real Thing

[Mood:Excited]

[Music: Bo Bice - The Real Thing]

Looks like you found your way back into my life,
It's alwayz good to know there's so much honesty between us,
I never really thought this would happen,

But it's been a darn good surprise.

You always have your own way of makin me smile,
And these dayz you make sure I always have a great day,
I never knew how much you really loved me,
But I do see it now.

You've always been special,
Sometimes I wander if you knew that
I hope you see that nowz baby,
By the way I just speak to you without sayin much at all.

It's alwayz been there,

The spark,

The chemistry,

It just took us time to see it all.

If you want to,I can save you

[Mood: Cheerful]

[Music: Black Eyed Peas - Where is the love]

If you want to,

I can save you,

I can take you away from here,

So lonely inside but so busy out there,

And all you wanted was someone to care.

It's been crazy for both of us lately,

We've gone through much,

From hatin each other,to wanting to tell each other how much we cared,

It's been mad but terrifically fun.

Drama,

It'll always been part of my life,
It'll always be my inspiration,

It just makes my world go round.

It's beautiful to like someone,
But It's even more beautiful to be in love with someone,
There's beauty in everything,

All you have to do is look.

It's been intersting lately...Thank Goodness

[Mood:Sick]

[Music: Backstreet Boys - What makes You Different]

Well I had a darn good weekend.I headed off to "The Curve" on Friday.I'm really starting to love that place.The concept seems a lot like Singapore though but that's cool.Had dinner at this Italian restaurant which was soo soo good.Went window shoppin a bit and headed home.

There was this wedding on Saturday.Woke up bout 10 a.m And by the time I got online,had breakfast and all it was bout 1:00p.m and it was time to leave by then.Time does fly these dayz.The wedding was definately fun..It was nice to see all my cousins and family.

The typical Sunday it was.Had church in the morning.Didn't really go out and all.Stayed at home and was bored as usually....

Today's my sis's birthday.She 's 14 this year.I haven't really gotten her anything yet(:P).But I will soon....Had some relatives over and all....That was pretty much it.....It's been intersting so far and thank goodness......

Exciting in a funny sort of way

[Mood:Kinda bored/excited]

[Music: Lindsay Lohan - Magnet]

Exciting is a funny sort of way,
That's how it has been this last couple of dayz,
It's been dramatic yetz cool,
But I've been havin my fair part of a good time.

Am not sure where's it goin from here

But so far it seems to be goin in the rite way baby,

This year though am gonna fun and not take anything too seriesly,
It's gonna be more of a chillin outz this time round,
I shall my try very best not be overly dramatic bout stuff
Not that I am anywayz....

It better be sweet

[Mood:Tired]
[Music: Bo Bice - Valley of Angels]

It's been crazy this few weeks,
And I thought this year was gonna be quiet,
Guess it's fun when somethingz are unpredictable.
You never know.

Sometimes when you go to the least expected person for advice,
You find out that you've been running away from the truth all along,
Well I just didn't want the real thing you know,
But desperate times calls for desperate messures.

Lookin down this year,
It seems like there's gonna be full of suprises,
And I can't wait,
It's gonna be sweet sixteen baby!!
It better be SWEET!!!!!

"You can't keep somthin you never had"

[Mood:Upset]
[Music:Marion Raven-13 dayz]

Am still stuck in memories of you,
And this really suxs,
I hate you rite now,
Hope you know that.

I thought we had somethin,
I really did,
But your jerkish side showed soon,
And am thankful for that.

I know it was only a month,
But that had an impact on me,
I still wander in the middle of the nite,
What the hell went wrong?

I will learn to let go.
Till then I shall continue to pretend.

Nail Polish,A City and A Celebrity

[Mood:Relaxed]
[Music:Blink 182 - Alwayz]

Your Nail Polish Color is Black

How you're unique: There's nothing about you that isn't unique Why your style rocks: You are a total indie chick... and you can pull it off What this color says about you: "I'm a trendsetter and don't care what anyone else is doing!"

What Color Nail Polish Best Fits You?

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock.A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything.No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

You Are Ashlee Simpson!

Stylish, unique, talentedYou're your own woman!"It seems like I can finally rest my head on something realI like the way that feels"

Who's" Your Inner Rock Chick?

From the top darling!

[Mood: Chillin]
[Music: Blink 182 - I Miss You]

And so the holidayz are over and its back to skool..*sniffles*...I've got loadz of work piled up from last year's left over...and so it's been kind of a hectic week..well actually I've been procrastinating a lotzz....*sheesh*..I so have to start gettin hard workin again...

My current obbession...LAGUNA BEACH!!.....I've seen the advertisment and buzz bout it a lotz lately and so I decided to download an episode and see whts it bout......and wht'd u know...soon enough I was downloading 3 epsiodes a day..am still at season 1 though..never knew they would be so much drama in a teenagers life...guess tht happens when you live at orange county......but I definately love tht show!!

I need to get all this work done,to go out again...so you could say am kinda of grouded in wayz..fuck...I really really wanna go out soon...I miss my gurlz so much!!.....

Gonna go watch a fresh episode of Laguna Beach tht just finished downlading.....
Chowz babes!!

Happy New Year Ya'll

[Mood: Happy]

[Music:Nelly - Over and Over]

Well darlin's its a brand new year,so HAPPY NEW YEAR YA'LL!!

I did do notta much on New year's eve.Just went to church,had dinner at some Chinese restaurant,waited at home for the counted and blasted fireworks...okies not so huge ones but they were good enough.Stayed up till bout 2A.M.Not much of partyin and all,which is pretty sad....anywayz

Headed to church this mornin and then went over to KLCC.For some shoppin and dining....

Got some stuff at the GIRLS shop.I just love tht store.It's real darn cute!

I usually don't plan New Year resolutions and all cause I've headed you tend to forget bout in less than a week.But what the hell...I thought I'd give it a try.......

1.Study more and a whole lot harder.(DefinateLY!!)

2.Start livin in reality more and stop daydreamin'(Really must try)

3Get better at my writin'(add more words to my vocab)

4.Read More(Ex: Memoirs of a Geisha,Series of Unfortunuate Events,Chronicles of Narnia,The Da Vince Code and etc.)

5.Hang out more with my gurls(I know this is kinda weird but...)

6.Build stronger bonds with my sibilings(It'd be good to start arguing less with my sis)

7.Start actually practicing the organ(It's exam year!!...and am Fuckin' Doomed!!)

8.Get into more dance classes

9.Try out for some sort of sports.(This may do me some good)

10.Make a difference..somewhere..somehow

That's bout it...Hope this works....

Well am gonna go find somethin 2 do....Holla~

Behind These Dark Brown Eyes

[Mood: Hurt]

[Music: Good Charlotte - Predictable]

How could you?

How could you break me this way,

How could you do this?

This is revenge isn't it.

Why did you lie to me then?

Why did you leave the taste of your lips on mine?

Why did you say you loved me?

Why did you even bother tryin to care.

All I needed was someone to prove me wrong,

To show me that somethingz are worth it,

But Thank You for showin me the truth,

Why didn't I see this comin?

I guess I thought this would never ever happen between us.

But I want you to know this,

You are NEVER,

And I mean EVER gonna see tears,

Behind these eyes....

Merry Christmas Ya'll

[Mood: Joyous]
[Music: Bob Carlisle - Christmas Shoes]

It was almost Christmas time
There I stood in another line
Try to buy that last give or two
Not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me
Was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing around like little boys do
And in his hands he had
A pair of shoes

And his clothes were worn and old
He was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

They counted pennies for what seems like years
And cashier says son there's not enough here
He searches is pockets franticly
And he turned and he looked at me
And he said Momma made Christmas good in our house
Most years she just did without
Tell me Sir
What am I gonna do?
Some how I gotta buy her these Christmas shoes
So I laid the money down
I just had to help him out
And I'll never forget
The look on his face
When he said Momma's gonna look so great

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

I know I won't regret some help as he thanked me and ran out
I know that God sent that little boy to remind me
What Christmas is all about

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight
I want it to look good
If Momma meet's Jesus tonight

This is definately the true meaning of christmas.To share love,hope,joy and peace around.
Hope all you guyz have a rockin' christmas!!
To all my readers and homies out there..
MERRY CHRISTMAS WITH LOVE!!!
~XoxO~

No More...

[Mood: Excited]

[Music: Kelly Clarkson - Because of You]

I tried...

I really did,

But it doesn't seen like your gonna change or at least try,

I really am sorry for you,

Just thought you'd like to know.

I alwayz thought you were better than that,

And you were different,

But you're just as bad as all the rest,

Thank for being honest with me.

After all that we've been through,

Haven't you learned anything,

Guess you're just became ever more egositic,

This is definately sad.

I'm really tired of all the crap that keeps happening again and again,

And you could say am fed up,

I really don't mind your ignorance,

It makes my life a whole lot simpler.

I didn't tell you to change your whole self,

All I did say was to think before throwing your words outz,

Guess you'd don't wanna do that,

And am not gonna bother anymore.

Round and round

[Mood: Bubbly]

[Music: Blink 182 - I Miss You]

I have no idea,

How you do it all,

The way you drag me into a whirlwind

And I still go back for more.

Maybe its the thrill,

Maybe its the crazyness,

But from what I know,

It's definately Not normal.

Am uncertain now,yetz again

And that's definately not good,

I wanna scream out loud,babe,

Is there anyway do make all this go away?

Just another regret...and gosh do I hate them....

[Mood: Fustrated]

[Music: Sum 41 - Over My Head]

I can't take it anymore,

I really can't,

I've tried and tried again

But you seem to be a hopeless case.

Your mad you know that,

No one and I mean no one is ever gonna get through to you,

Trust me on that,

Your gonna know that one day.

The amount of time I've wasted with you,

Everything seems such a regret,

And I think you are one too,

Oh the time I've wasted.

I hope someone tortures you the same way,

Kills you slowly,

Never allowing to say a word,

To leave you in a corner.

Well from now on I offically give up on you,

No more tears and pain,

No more trying for something so hopeless,

Cause your a huge regret,

And so you know,

I hate REGRETS....

Plez....Don't...

[Mood: Too darn confused]

[Music: My Cheamical Romace - I'm Not Okay]

I hope you've changed,

And not become the person I think you are,

I wanna see the person I love and care bout,

For I can't bare to be disappoited again.

Don't break me like the way you did before,

Please......

After all I've gone through with you,

Hasn't it all been enough?

Am afraid,

Am scared,

And I fear too much,

I don't want you to turn into my worse nightmare.

I hope you remember the words I've said,

And the tears I've cried,

Cause if it goes to waste,

Don't bother speaking to me again.

Just fuckin' don't.

A great weekend

[Mood: Happy]

[Music: Kelly Clarkson - Because of You]

Headed to Mid Valley today.I just love that place.All your favourite stores in one place.......

Just looked around a lotz and bought a t shirt from BodyGlove.One of my fav brandz!!

I just like the patterns a lot and all.Had lunch at Uncle Chili's after that.I ablosultely LOVE the tacos there.Yum!...actually I love all the food there...lolz...

Came home and did some chores.The typically look after the dog and clean up the room routine.

Gosh......Rite nowz,just sitting around and checkin my mail and all....the usual Sunday nite thing...nothing out of the ordinary......

And so it turns out to be a great weekend.It's been rockin and am trying my best to make the greatest out of everything and it's been all fuckin good.........

So have a great week ahead darlin's!!!!!

La La

[Mood: Excited]

[Music: Ashlee Simpson - La La]

Friday was the last day of skool and it was a kind of sad parting.Am gonna miss skool so much!

A few ppl gave a speech and all and it was real sweet,espeacially Sonia's one.It was real good.

After skool a whole bunch of us headed to the mall to watch Zathura.Not that we were waiting for it and all but it was the only flick available at that time and we watched it out of desperation..lol....It wasn't too bad though.Hanged at the arcade and all and played a dance like game with pet sis who just couldn't get enough of it...Gosh Hannah....u rock at it!!

After that I went shopping with Christine and her sis.It was so damn fun cause we went to practically every clothing shoppin in there...lol......we had such a good time just laughing and all....I came home bout 7 P.M and then headed back to the mall to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with my family.And I got to say ppl that flick was real good.Speacially the speacial effects and all! It was preety long though...like bout 2 hours plus I think...I just reached home and I feel totally DEAD!

Well dude's am gonna hit bed nowz..I have to admit though I had one awesome day and it was the company that made the day rock!....Love all guyz loadZzz!!!...~MuaXzzzZ~

I love the way you love me

[Mood:Dreamy/In Love]

[Music: Yellowcard- Only One]

I thought am never going 2 be in your arms again,

Or be able to tell you how much I love you,

But I guess when people collide,

Its just happens.

I didn't mind the wait cause somehow in my heart somethin told me its gonna be alrite,

When you told me that you wanted me back in your life,

I wanted to scream out loud,

And so patience does have its rewards after all.

When am with you,

Being me is never a problem,

I love the way you accept me the way I am,

Your patient and your kindness is what I admire the most.

I want you to know that I love you baby,

And being with you makes me feel darn great,

You're one hell of a speacial guy,

Cause no one has made me feel the way I do when am with you,

I love you!!!!!

Happy Birthday darlin'!!!!

~MuaX~

Hectic is good,for me anyway

[Mood: Worn Out]

[Music: None]

The whole week of practice really did make me feel like am seriesly lackin in exercise.And also am really sore rite nowz....Gosh.....But I had my part of fun this week, So I ain't complaining too much....LOL...the awards nite was really fun.I really had a great time.I got to streak my hair red and all.....just came home btw...am so darn worn outz now....

This week has been real crazy.Dealin with frenz and preassures of rehersals.Running around and all.Hectic weeks are real good....(:P)....Oh and not forgettin unexpected thingz happening and all...am dancing around too much lately....lol.....dancin happily anyway....

Well I've come to where I wanted to be and it feels so damn good.

It's good to know that thingz have their way of straighning up.

So you could say I had one fuckin good week!!!!!!!

Punkish Lover Outz~

Lessons are learned daily baby

[Mood: Tired/Kinda Upset]

[Music: Get It Together - Indie Arie]

When your caught which so much going on,

You'll feel like your drowning alive,

That's how I feel rite now,

Am lost and out in the bitter cold.

What have I got to do to prove to you that you matter to me,

And what have I got to do to show you that I have changed and no more like you,

When will you see me as me?

When will you learn to accept the real me without being bitter about it.

Haven't you done enought damage?

And isn't time to fix thingz up,

When I need you to be there?

Why is hurting me your main aim.

I guess it doesn't take long to know who your real frenz are,

Cause the truth will show sooner or later,

And I know now that I should show how much my real homies matter to me,

Lessons are learned daily in your life baby....

Its been real good lately....

[Mood: Kinda Insane]

[Music: All American Rejetcs - Move Along]

Well last week was total vacation..no studying and all, just plain doin nothing.I needed it badly...I think....Anyway lately I've been very happy and I've absoluty no idea why... ok maybe I have a slight idea...its cause there have been a whole damn less drama and everything seems to be place lately.I've been more sane and I guess that makes me happy....

I went to skool 2day,there was dance practice 2day and I seriesly have to start practicing and all cause I think am kinda rusty,havent been dance for a few months now...*rolls eyes*.....After practice,Esther,Asha and I went for a drink and all....It's nice 2 spend time with your girlfriends...lolz.....just laughing and crappin for absoluty no reason...its all good....

Well I've gotta go check if my "One Tree Hill" download is done...its the 1st episode of season 3 btw.....I really don't wanna wait for it till next year...am just wayy too impatient!!...

You made my day...

[Mood:Glad]

[Music:Backstreet Boys - Safest Place To Hide]

Miracles do happen,

All you have to do is to believe,

When you least expect something to happen,it happens,

When you feel its never gonna be the same again,

You're somehow proved wrong.

I'm glad you've decided to forgive me,

Cause you're have no idea how happy you made me,

For I feel totally relieved now....

But I just want you to know that I mean this....

I'm really sorry darlin'.....

Now am standing in the cold......

[Mood: Upset]
[Music: Backstreet Boys - Siberia]

For all times for ego to take over,
This time theres no one else to blame....
How could I have lied to you?

I've alwayz cared about you,
And I'll alwayz have your back,
Not speakin to you kills me,
And you ignoring me,drowns me with guilt.

I've never said 'I love you" wihout meaning it,
But why did I pretend??
Am still trying to figure that outz....

I've alwayz feared telling someone the way I feel,
Fear takes over just by thinking about it,
All wounds start hurting again,
And that's when I decide to pretend.

As I held on to my covers,
And closed my eyes,
All the thoughts of you flowed through me,
I cligged onto my pillow as tears flowed from my eyes,
And I cried myself softly to sleep,
Hoping that this will turn out to be a bitter nightmare.....

Survey/Quiz

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Beautifully Broken

[Mood: Confused]

[Music: Ashlee Simpson - Beautifully Broken]

After all I've been through,

Why haven't I learned,

Am beautifully broken....

Am back to where I started,

Yet again....

Listen to heart,

Alwayz....

Thts wht I've just learned.

I've gone through much this year,

And I've learned alwayz to pick myself up,

To go on with the scars,

To carry them around without showin them.....

Theres beauty in everything,even in a broken heart,its'll just take time to see it...

Don't Try this.....

[Mood: Sick]
[Music: Danial Powter - Bad Day]

You've alwayz been my shoulder to cry on and to lean on
And I have no idea how you can make me laugh when am in tears,
I can't lose you,
For I don't know what I will become of me if I do,
So hurting you is out of the picture.
The scars you've left still hurt,
And I think the many times I've hurt you still sting,
I regret the day I left your side,
For I left a part of me with you,
And tht was one of my biggest mistake,
Why do you alwayz hide the way you feel?
I wanna see you the way you see me,

I thought my heart would have an answer for this,
But I think this is just far too diffult,

You're different from the other,
Your words captivate me and drown me at the same time,
I have come down an unknown road and there seems no way back,
There are no detours or shortcuts,
This time am real sure....
Don't catch me as I fall,For am falling too fast....

Hanginz outz the unusual way...

[Mood: Happy]

[Music: Howie Day - Collide]

Yesterday was super fun..in the morning had this field trip to th Aquatic at KLCC.We went there with the train and it was really funny cause we were so loud in there,everyone kept starin at us like we were a bunch of pyshos...lol....hanged in the Aquaria for like 45 minutes...the fishes were really intersting and all....after tht everyone went window shoppin...Christine,Esther and I were hangin out the whole time and we kept laughing so much tht every shop we went to,we got a whole load of stares.........it was really hilarious...we went into GUESS,Converse,FCUK...and a few others....just browsing around......after tht we had lunch at Secret Recipe.........later a few others planned to go to Denise's house and I decided to tag along.....so like 15 of us pilled into her van and went there.It was a really funny sight cause everyone was sitting on each others lap and Asha and I kept takin photos and all...hahaha....we hanged at her house for like an hour or two.....and I reached home at about 6 in the evening....

Had a bath and hanged on line after tht,and then I decided to get on the phone with a fren...which lasted for nearly an hour...lolz....tht was about it...it was one hell of a day...and I had loadz of fun.........~XoXo~

Heres the group pic at the train station.....am the seventh person from the left to right...by Asha,in front of Christine...

Totally Chocolately

[Mood: Full]

[Music: My Chemical Romance - Helena]

When I feel depressed,its chocolate I go 2.I just ate a whole bar.......Damn........I feel totally guilty now. *siGh*

My mum watched a little of "One Tree Hill" 2day and decide tht today is the last time I'm ever gonna watch it.She said tht am only 15 and I shouldnt watch stuff about high skool kidz goin around havin sex and babies......fuck.....thts like my most favourite tv show ever...I've never been so obbssed with a show like this before.....my mum is just wayy too fussy....Thank God I can download epsiodes....or else I don't know wht I'll do......I feel so damn chocolately rite now...must be the chocolate latte.....I feel like gettin drunk 2 nite and I have no idea why.......ok maybe I have a slight idea why

I alwayz put myself in fucked up messed and I alwayz have no idea how 2 get out.....I need to getaway.....to somewhere far,far away.....I think the chocolate is takin effect....cause am fuckin crappin here....am gonna do some maths homework now.....Nit3ZzzZZzzZZ.....

I'm leavin...and this time it may be for good..

[Mood:Tired/bored]

[Music: Story of the Year - Sidewalks]

"I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth."

I think ppl like seeing my reactions when am hurt, so tht may be why they like hurting me a lot.I don't really show much emotion at times.So I think its thrilling 2 see me cry......

I have come down to the point where I can't think straight anymore and nothing I do seems worth it.

I'm gonna go pack and start walking now.For I've plan to go far far away from you.I seriesly can't take it anymore.I've tried to be patient and understanding but nothing seems to work.Dragging me in circles also, have only been driving me crazy.So am gonna leave now and this time it may be for good......

Round and round,here we go again

[Mood: Blurry]

[Music: N'sync - This I Promise You]

Well a few dayz back I thought I knew what I wanted and then I didnt,

and now I think I know again...damn...all this crazyness just gotta stop and I hope soon.

When we are faced with choices in life,we alwayz have 2 choice the right ones cause they'll end up effecting us,moulding us to wht we will become.

I've been through a lot this last couple of dayz and its been mad.

One part of me ones to just have fun,go around..... jumping the words"Whtever will be,will be" and the other side of me keeps saying "Listen to your heart,it will show you the way"

I don't want to hurt anyone,I really dont.I don't want to lose anyone either.But curiosity confuses me and am afraid will lead me to the wrong path.

I know wht I want but I do wander,is having too much wrong,will it mess me up.

It seems so harmless.Kinda of right in a screwed up way.

If I explain my situation to someone,they'll say the right path is so clear.

Its rite before my eyes,I know,but from here,its wht I choose......

My sunshines all around...why cant you see??

[Mood:Crazy]

[Music: Backstreet Boys - Climbing the Walls]

I wanna be the only one,

Is that too much to ask,

I want you 2 be mine,

My one and only.

Have you just decided to surrender?

After all the shit that you've gone through,

Did you just decided I was the one that was gonna save you?

Didn't I tell you this would happen babe.

Am the physco going out of control,

And there doesnt seem to be an end to this road.

Look out your window,

And you'll find my sunshine all around,

You drive me crazy and you make me feel speacial at the same time,

You screwed up idiot.

I've become undiscovered again,

I didn't do anything right than,

And I feel am making mistakes yet again,

But why do I still want you,

Have I gone mad?

Here I go again...

[Mood: Excited]

[Music: Mandy Moore - Cry]

I went 2 skool today and I had a total blast.It was a really good day.And the most unexpected thing happened...you'll just never guess....I think good frenz can't stay away for long...lolz...and I can't keep enemys anywayz....lol.....everyone was in a very happy mood 2day and even teacher Ben wandered why.I was there till about 5 something.Feel kinda of half-dead now.But I had a good time.

Thingz have been kinda of chaotic around me lately.My head going in all kindz of directions and thts causin me 2 give ppl some fucked up ideas to.......*siGh*....and everone around me have arived to a conclusion tht I am indeed mad.

I think now,rite now,I know what I want and that is to be with a certain someone again.We started out really good friends and I guess feelings grew along the way but we kinda messed it up...more like I kinda messed it up......and then I thought he was gone.But at times I liked being proven wrong and I was thankful this time I was.His alwayz been kinda speacial 2 me and this time I think maybe..just maybe..am in love again....

To appericiate...alwayz

[Mood: Upset]

[Music:Bob Carlisle - Butterfly Kisses ]

We should always be grateful for the dayz we live,

And we should alwayz show the people around us how much we love them,

For we will never know what dayz have in store for us,

Gratefulness and love must alwayz be remembered in our daily lives,

I can never bear the thought of losing a love one,

I can't even imagine what kind of state it will leave me in,

I will alwayz remember to be thankful for my life

And to tell everyone in my life how much I care for them.....

"To my dear friend Rita,Am so sorry upon the departure of you father.

You are a very strong person and I admire you for that,the way you are going on with your life is increadible.Continue going on with life and alwayz be strong.For your father is in a better place.And alwayz remember,am here for you.With lots of love...."

Running to nowhere

[Mood:Numb ]

[Music:Backstreet Boys - Siberia]

After weeks of overwhelming sadness and heart brokeness,thingz finally have seem to fall in place,

Its been an intersting week,meeting new ppl and reconciling with old frenz,

Life seems to be a huge cycle tht repeats quite a bit,

Everytime I think I have everything in place,

That's when life decides to prove me wrong,

The week seems to end with intersting theories and thoughts,

Where am I to go when am lonely,

My feelingz can't be felt anymore,

What have I become?

I have ran and ran for miles,

Running down an unknown road,

Maybe I should have turned back a long time ago,

But I know now its too late.

The result of broken promises,its really too much

[Mood: Crazy]

[Music: Crossfade - Cold]

Livin in reality is hard for me,it kills my creative side.I rather leave my head in the clouds,where it belongs.Only when my reality collides with my daydreams,will then I 'll decide 2 come down.Am too complicated for my own good understanding and tht keeps me partially sane.I've lost it a long time ago and you might wander what am blabbin about.This is the result of a broken promises,it messes with you mind a lot.It reaps you sanity and leaves you mindless.Am wandering around without a thought in my head.I've gotta find reality soon before I end up like you.

Bloggin Personality

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

What's" Your Blogging Personality?

Your gasps was carried by the wind

[Mood: Dreamy]

[Music: Marion Raven - Little by Little]

I was glad we've come this far,it looked lovely out here.We've gone through much and learned a lot from each other.But though the place looked beautiful....there was this lake by the corner that didn't blend in.It looked weird and it slightly freaked me out.I just stared at it but looked away quickly.But you took a longer glance at it and you were just a bit too intersted in it.I noticed the way you were lookin but I just kept quiet.You walked into it and checked it out.It seemed so harmless then,so I just watched you from a distance......

That was until you started drowing,you started to slowly sink and I heard your soft gaspings.The sounds of your gasp was clear against the soft breazy and I ran to ur side.I was startled at the sight of you.I reached out my hand and tried to grab yours but you refused to grab hold.I started cryin and screaming at the same time,beggin you to take hold of my hand but you refused.....and so I just laid there by the lake's bank for dayz,my arm streached out to you, as I watched you slowly being overwhelmed by the water.Teary eyed I told you how much you meant to me and how much I cared for you.As you saw me crying and my tears flowing freely,I think,maybe,just maybe you realized how much I cared because you slowly started reachin for my fingers.....

I was glad to see you holdin on,even though it was just a little,I was happy you kinda did want to be rescued.I know it will take time before you reach for my whole hand and hold on to it.It will take a while before you decided throughly that you want to be rescued..until then I'll wait...... cause I wasn't willin to lose you than and am not willing to lose you now......

It's been good lately..

[Mood: Happy]

[Music: Fall Out Boy - Sugar We're Going down]

Went out with Esther yesterday.It was totally fun.We went to Pyramid....watched "Dukes of Hazzard"..it was a really funny flick..Johhny Knoxville is a really funny comedian and a hott one too.....Jessica Simpson had the most stupiest role of all..she had more scenes showing off her body then sayin anything....thts why I like her sister better...shes smarter...anywayz...it was seriesly funny cause durin the movie everytime there was a scene with Jessica wearin something skimpy..Esther kept whacking me cause I kinda dragged her to watch it..lol...after tht we went window shoppin and ate quite a bit on the way....lol.....it was all good....came back at 7pm....after tht hanged around the house and watched tv....I had a really really cool day...

Did nothing much 2day...am bored...seriesly bored...I think I'll go watch F1 with my dad..hope Micheal does well...GO Ferari!!!!!

ChowZzz..

This is the way the weekend should be darlin'

[Mood: Happy/Tired]

[Music: Jay Sean - Stolen]

I've been havin a really good weekend...wow....havent said tht in quite a while..I went to KL yesterday nite,had dinner at Park Royal..its this cute little hotel btw..then a little walk round.My sister has gone to some church trip and all,so I've ben havin a peaceful,calm weekend....I do miss her though....*sigh*...anywayz went to Kl today afternoon yetz again cause my dad wanted to get some stuff,so I decided to shop a little.

I got this really cute top from Voir,which I fell in love with at first sight..I know it sounds weird but before I get some type of clothin,I have to fall in luv with it cause then I'll know, I'll wear it..so yeah I know am weird....Anyway now I'll have to find a skirt to go with that.I shall go skirt shoppin one day..soon..real soon......I spent practically half the day there btw....just lookin round..we just kept walkin a lotz...it was fun....I had a good time....rite now am so darn tired...my legs are hurtin so fuckin badly....I shall go and wait for "One Tree Hill" to start.....

P.S>> Never wear heels for shoppin...it'll kill your feet alive....ALIVE....BAH

You're speacial to me and I think you know that babe...

[Mood: Very Much Confused]
[Music: Howie Day - Collide]

This must be some bad day or somethin'

Cause its been so darn confusin',

I miss you,

Do you know that?

Do I still mean somethin to you,

Cause you alwayz have,

When you asked me if I was alrite,

I answered the truth,after such a long time.

I don't wanna see you leave just like that,

After all we've goin through,

I will not survive...

If you leave.

I always will care for you,

You have the gift of makin me laugh while I cry,

I don't know anyone else who can do that,

And that makes you ever more special to me.

What you said today stung me,

I felt numb for while,

I coudn't feel anymore,

I've no idea how that happened.

I pray that one day,

I'll see you a few years from now,

Happy and all good,

That would be one of the best dayz of my life babe.