Behind These Dark Brown Eyes

[Mood: Hurt]

[Music: Good Charlotte - Predictable]

How could you?

How could you break me this way,

How could you do this?

This is revenge isn't it.

Why did you lie to me then?

Why did you leave the taste of your lips on mine?

Why did you say you loved me?

Why did you even bother tryin to care.

All I needed was someone to prove me wrong,

To show me that somethingz are worth it,

But Thank You for showin me the truth,

Why didn't I see this comin?

I guess I thought this would never ever happen between us.

But I want you to know this,

You are NEVER,

And I mean EVER gonna see tears,

Behind these eyes....

Merry Christmas Ya'll

[Mood: Joyous]
[Music: Bob Carlisle - Christmas Shoes]

It was almost Christmas time
There I stood in another line
Try to buy that last give or two
Not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me
Was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing around like little boys do
And in his hands he had
A pair of shoes

And his clothes were worn and old
He was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

They counted pennies for what seems like years
And cashier says son there's not enough here
He searches is pockets franticly
And he turned and he looked at me
And he said Momma made Christmas good in our house
Most years she just did without
Tell me Sir
What am I gonna do?
Some how I gotta buy her these Christmas shoes
So I laid the money down
I just had to help him out
And I'll never forget
The look on his face
When he said Momma's gonna look so great

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

I know I won't regret some help as he thanked me and ran out
I know that God sent that little boy to remind me
What Christmas is all about

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight
I want it to look good
If Momma meet's Jesus tonight

This is definately the true meaning of christmas.To share love,hope,joy and peace around.
Hope all you guyz have a rockin' christmas!!
To all my readers and homies out there..
MERRY CHRISTMAS WITH LOVE!!!
~XoxO~

No More...

[Mood: Excited]

[Music: Kelly Clarkson - Because of You]

I tried...

I really did,

But it doesn't seen like your gonna change or at least try,

I really am sorry for you,

Just thought you'd like to know.

I alwayz thought you were better than that,

And you were different,

But you're just as bad as all the rest,

Thank for being honest with me.

After all that we've been through,

Haven't you learned anything,

Guess you're just became ever more egositic,

This is definately sad.

I'm really tired of all the crap that keeps happening again and again,

And you could say am fed up,

I really don't mind your ignorance,

It makes my life a whole lot simpler.

I didn't tell you to change your whole self,

All I did say was to think before throwing your words outz,

Guess you'd don't wanna do that,

And am not gonna bother anymore.

Round and round

[Mood: Bubbly]

[Music: Blink 182 - I Miss You]

I have no idea,

How you do it all,

The way you drag me into a whirlwind

And I still go back for more.

Maybe its the thrill,

Maybe its the crazyness,

But from what I know,

It's definately Not normal.

Am uncertain now,yetz again

And that's definately not good,

I wanna scream out loud,babe,

Is there anyway do make all this go away?

Just another regret...and gosh do I hate them....

[Mood: Fustrated]

[Music: Sum 41 - Over My Head]

I can't take it anymore,

I really can't,

I've tried and tried again

But you seem to be a hopeless case.

Your mad you know that,

No one and I mean no one is ever gonna get through to you,

Trust me on that,

Your gonna know that one day.

The amount of time I've wasted with you,

Everything seems such a regret,

And I think you are one too,

Oh the time I've wasted.

I hope someone tortures you the same way,

Kills you slowly,

Never allowing to say a word,

To leave you in a corner.

Well from now on I offically give up on you,

No more tears and pain,

No more trying for something so hopeless,

Cause your a huge regret,

And so you know,

I hate REGRETS....

Plez....Don't...

[Mood: Too darn confused]

[Music: My Cheamical Romace - I'm Not Okay]

I hope you've changed,

And not become the person I think you are,

I wanna see the person I love and care bout,

For I can't bare to be disappoited again.

Don't break me like the way you did before,

Please......

After all I've gone through with you,

Hasn't it all been enough?

Am afraid,

Am scared,

And I fear too much,

I don't want you to turn into my worse nightmare.

I hope you remember the words I've said,

And the tears I've cried,

Cause if it goes to waste,

Don't bother speaking to me again.

Just fuckin' don't.

A great weekend

[Mood: Happy]

[Music: Kelly Clarkson - Because of You]

Headed to Mid Valley today.I just love that place.All your favourite stores in one place.......

Just looked around a lotz and bought a t shirt from BodyGlove.One of my fav brandz!!

I just like the patterns a lot and all.Had lunch at Uncle Chili's after that.I ablosultely LOVE the tacos there.Yum!...actually I love all the food there...lolz...

Came home and did some chores.The typically look after the dog and clean up the room routine.

Gosh......Rite nowz,just sitting around and checkin my mail and all....the usual Sunday nite thing...nothing out of the ordinary......

And so it turns out to be a great weekend.It's been rockin and am trying my best to make the greatest out of everything and it's been all fuckin good.........

So have a great week ahead darlin's!!!!!

La La

[Mood: Excited]

[Music: Ashlee Simpson - La La]

Friday was the last day of skool and it was a kind of sad parting.Am gonna miss skool so much!

A few ppl gave a speech and all and it was real sweet,espeacially Sonia's one.It was real good.

After skool a whole bunch of us headed to the mall to watch Zathura.Not that we were waiting for it and all but it was the only flick available at that time and we watched it out of desperation..lol....It wasn't too bad though.Hanged at the arcade and all and played a dance like game with pet sis who just couldn't get enough of it...Gosh Hannah....u rock at it!!

After that I went shopping with Christine and her sis.It was so damn fun cause we went to practically every clothing shoppin in there...lol......we had such a good time just laughing and all....I came home bout 7 P.M and then headed back to the mall to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with my family.And I got to say ppl that flick was real good.Speacially the speacial effects and all! It was preety long though...like bout 2 hours plus I think...I just reached home and I feel totally DEAD!

Well dude's am gonna hit bed nowz..I have to admit though I had one awesome day and it was the company that made the day rock!....Love all guyz loadZzz!!!...~MuaXzzzZ~

I love the way you love me

[Mood:Dreamy/In Love]

[Music: Yellowcard- Only One]

I thought am never going 2 be in your arms again,

Or be able to tell you how much I love you,

But I guess when people collide,

Its just happens.

I didn't mind the wait cause somehow in my heart somethin told me its gonna be alrite,

When you told me that you wanted me back in your life,

I wanted to scream out loud,

And so patience does have its rewards after all.

When am with you,

Being me is never a problem,

I love the way you accept me the way I am,

Your patient and your kindness is what I admire the most.

I want you to know that I love you baby,

And being with you makes me feel darn great,

You're one hell of a speacial guy,

Cause no one has made me feel the way I do when am with you,

I love you!!!!!

Happy Birthday darlin'!!!!

~MuaX~

Hectic is good,for me anyway

[Mood: Worn Out]

[Music: None]

The whole week of practice really did make me feel like am seriesly lackin in exercise.And also am really sore rite nowz....Gosh.....But I had my part of fun this week, So I ain't complaining too much....LOL...the awards nite was really fun.I really had a great time.I got to streak my hair red and all.....just came home btw...am so darn worn outz now....

This week has been real crazy.Dealin with frenz and preassures of rehersals.Running around and all.Hectic weeks are real good....(:P)....Oh and not forgettin unexpected thingz happening and all...am dancing around too much lately....lol.....dancin happily anyway....

Well I've come to where I wanted to be and it feels so damn good.

It's good to know that thingz have their way of straighning up.

So you could say I had one fuckin good week!!!!!!!

Punkish Lover Outz~

Lessons are learned daily baby

[Mood: Tired/Kinda Upset]

[Music: Get It Together - Indie Arie]

When your caught which so much going on,

You'll feel like your drowning alive,

That's how I feel rite now,

Am lost and out in the bitter cold.

What have I got to do to prove to you that you matter to me,

And what have I got to do to show you that I have changed and no more like you,

When will you see me as me?

When will you learn to accept the real me without being bitter about it.

Haven't you done enought damage?

And isn't time to fix thingz up,

When I need you to be there?

Why is hurting me your main aim.

I guess it doesn't take long to know who your real frenz are,

Cause the truth will show sooner or later,

And I know now that I should show how much my real homies matter to me,

Lessons are learned daily in your life baby....

Its been real good lately....

[Mood: Kinda Insane]

[Music: All American Rejetcs - Move Along]

Well last week was total vacation..no studying and all, just plain doin nothing.I needed it badly...I think....Anyway lately I've been very happy and I've absoluty no idea why... ok maybe I have a slight idea...its cause there have been a whole damn less drama and everything seems to be place lately.I've been more sane and I guess that makes me happy....

I went to skool 2day,there was dance practice 2day and I seriesly have to start practicing and all cause I think am kinda rusty,havent been dance for a few months now...*rolls eyes*.....After practice,Esther,Asha and I went for a drink and all....It's nice 2 spend time with your girlfriends...lolz.....just laughing and crappin for absoluty no reason...its all good....

Well I've gotta go check if my "One Tree Hill" download is done...its the 1st episode of season 3 btw.....I really don't wanna wait for it till next year...am just wayy too impatient!!...

You made my day...

[Mood:Glad]

[Music:Backstreet Boys - Safest Place To Hide]

Miracles do happen,

All you have to do is to believe,

When you least expect something to happen,it happens,

When you feel its never gonna be the same again,

You're somehow proved wrong.

I'm glad you've decided to forgive me,

Cause you're have no idea how happy you made me,

For I feel totally relieved now....

But I just want you to know that I mean this....

I'm really sorry darlin'.....

Now am standing in the cold......

[Mood: Upset]
[Music: Backstreet Boys - Siberia]

For all times for ego to take over,
This time theres no one else to blame....
How could I have lied to you?

I've alwayz cared about you,
And I'll alwayz have your back,
Not speakin to you kills me,
And you ignoring me,drowns me with guilt.

I've never said 'I love you" wihout meaning it,
But why did I pretend??
Am still trying to figure that outz....

I've alwayz feared telling someone the way I feel,
Fear takes over just by thinking about it,
All wounds start hurting again,
And that's when I decide to pretend.

As I held on to my covers,
And closed my eyes,
All the thoughts of you flowed through me,
I cligged onto my pillow as tears flowed from my eyes,
And I cried myself softly to sleep,
Hoping that this will turn out to be a bitter nightmare.....

Survey/Quiz

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Beautifully Broken

[Mood: Confused]

[Music: Ashlee Simpson - Beautifully Broken]

After all I've been through,

Why haven't I learned,

Am beautifully broken....

Am back to where I started,

Yet again....

Listen to heart,

Alwayz....

Thts wht I've just learned.

I've gone through much this year,

And I've learned alwayz to pick myself up,

To go on with the scars,

To carry them around without showin them.....

Theres beauty in everything,even in a broken heart,its'll just take time to see it...

Don't Try this.....

[Mood: Sick]
[Music: Danial Powter - Bad Day]

You've alwayz been my shoulder to cry on and to lean on
And I have no idea how you can make me laugh when am in tears,
I can't lose you,
For I don't know what I will become of me if I do,
So hurting you is out of the picture.
The scars you've left still hurt,
And I think the many times I've hurt you still sting,
I regret the day I left your side,
For I left a part of me with you,
And tht was one of my biggest mistake,
Why do you alwayz hide the way you feel?
I wanna see you the way you see me,

I thought my heart would have an answer for this,
But I think this is just far too diffult,

You're different from the other,
Your words captivate me and drown me at the same time,
I have come down an unknown road and there seems no way back,
There are no detours or shortcuts,
This time am real sure....
Don't catch me as I fall,For am falling too fast....

Hanginz outz the unusual way...

[Mood: Happy]

[Music: Howie Day - Collide]

Yesterday was super fun..in the morning had this field trip to th Aquatic at KLCC.We went there with the train and it was really funny cause we were so loud in there,everyone kept starin at us like we were a bunch of pyshos...lol....hanged in the Aquaria for like 45 minutes...the fishes were really intersting and all....after tht everyone went window shoppin...Christine,Esther and I were hangin out the whole time and we kept laughing so much tht every shop we went to,we got a whole load of stares.........it was really hilarious...we went into GUESS,Converse,FCUK...and a few others....just browsing around......after tht we had lunch at Secret Recipe.........later a few others planned to go to Denise's house and I decided to tag along.....so like 15 of us pilled into her van and went there.It was a really funny sight cause everyone was sitting on each others lap and Asha and I kept takin photos and all...hahaha....we hanged at her house for like an hour or two.....and I reached home at about 6 in the evening....

Had a bath and hanged on line after tht,and then I decided to get on the phone with a fren...which lasted for nearly an hour...lolz....tht was about it...it was one hell of a day...and I had loadz of fun.........~XoXo~

Heres the group pic at the train station.....am the seventh person from the left to right...by Asha,in front of Christine...

Totally Chocolately

[Mood: Full]

[Music: My Chemical Romance - Helena]

When I feel depressed,its chocolate I go 2.I just ate a whole bar.......Damn........I feel totally guilty now. *siGh*

My mum watched a little of "One Tree Hill" 2day and decide tht today is the last time I'm ever gonna watch it.She said tht am only 15 and I shouldnt watch stuff about high skool kidz goin around havin sex and babies......fuck.....thts like my most favourite tv show ever...I've never been so obbssed with a show like this before.....my mum is just wayy too fussy....Thank God I can download epsiodes....or else I don't know wht I'll do......I feel so damn chocolately rite now...must be the chocolate latte.....I feel like gettin drunk 2 nite and I have no idea why.......ok maybe I have a slight idea why

I alwayz put myself in fucked up messed and I alwayz have no idea how 2 get out.....I need to getaway.....to somewhere far,far away.....I think the chocolate is takin effect....cause am fuckin crappin here....am gonna do some maths homework now.....Nit3ZzzZZzzZZ.....

I'm leavin...and this time it may be for good..

[Mood:Tired/bored]

[Music: Story of the Year - Sidewalks]

"I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth."

I think ppl like seeing my reactions when am hurt, so tht may be why they like hurting me a lot.I don't really show much emotion at times.So I think its thrilling 2 see me cry......

I have come down to the point where I can't think straight anymore and nothing I do seems worth it.

I'm gonna go pack and start walking now.For I've plan to go far far away from you.I seriesly can't take it anymore.I've tried to be patient and understanding but nothing seems to work.Dragging me in circles also, have only been driving me crazy.So am gonna leave now and this time it may be for good......