These Dayz Are What They Call Livin Momentz To The Fullest Darlin'

[Mood: Excited]
[Music: Fergie - Fergalicious]

One of the best parts of livin in Malaysia is the abundant amount of holz for the festive season.The weekend seemed super long and I did have a good time.Had a couple of relatives over for the fun of it, mum cooked loadz and I eat a lot as well.Oh and not forgettin being glued to the tv.I just haven't been watchin tv much lately cause am happy with my downloads of LB and OTH but I decided to just catch on some movies and all.On Tuesday,my family decided to do the drive around with no specific location tradition.We do that on public holz usually.I wanted to go back to Ipoh again but dad decided it would too long of a drive.So decided to go to Morib.The beach was nice and they have good seafood there.It wasn't too bad.Besides all that it was just me and my skool work and not forgettin checkin out the cuties in LOTR.(:P)

Went to skool on Thursday.I've switched to books for Math and was overwhelmed with joy to touch a book again and to put my pencil to use again.Yes I know it sounds corny but seriesly I was sooo happy to have it back.The rest of day was very casual and I have a new luchin group.Its Eddy,Vitz,Rachey,Shaun,occisonaly Christine and the gf.They're just loadz of fun to hang with cause our conversations are a mix of crappness,sacrasm and a whole bunch of emal-ness(Nicki's way of sayin lame),super cool huh.lolz.Newayz Friday we had drama practice and I did nada skool work.Practice was cool cause all we did was laugh loadz and camwhore.Will uploadz the pics as soon as I get it from Daniel.Chapel was total crazyness.I may reconsider sittin in between Kc and Vitz the next time and opposite Pete as well cause he kept sendin sign language signals yht he loves Vitz and it was just freakin disturbin.Damn we have like to many gay couples in skool..*BAH*

It's a beautiful Saturday mornin and am up super early.I crashed at 3 last nite after my usual phone conversation but woke up around 9.I've got skool work to attend to currently.And also I've gtg to church tonite...tht may be excitin(:P)
~Loadz of Love~

And Doesn't It Make You Shiver; The Way Things Could Have Gone

[Mood: Worried]
[Music: Tresspassers William - Matching Weight]

I am thinking about: how my day is gonna go by and the thingz I have to do.Hopin a certain someone is fine.How am gonna get my hp from my mum's room.(she said I should start studyin more and hang on it a whole lot less)And tht the gf calls...we haven't talked in a while...it would be nice to have a recap bout the last few weeks.

I said: "I love you soo much" to someone today and meant every word.

I wish:for a pair of Converse and a good relationship,that all my dreams and wishes will come true,tht my frenz and family will alwayz be close by;protected and happy.And many more wondeful memories for the dayz to come.(I was thinkin of sayin world peace but we all know thts pretty much impossible and I rather be a lil realistic here.)

I hear:Tyler Hilton singing "Missing You" and myself singin along.

I wonder: if my ambitions and dreams are gonna be the same 10 yrs from now and if I'll still be close with all my frenz currently and how everyone will look like and what they'll be doin a couple of years from now.

I regret: A couple of thingz I guess.Sayin thingz I don't mean or talkin to much or hurtin someone.Guess everyone has some sorta regrets here and there and but I try my very best not to have many.There is really no point in regrets.All they do is just bring you down and "I wish I had" is a just a waste of time and strength.There was this "OTH" episode where one of this characters grandfather has alzeimer's disease and his fren says that it's good he doesn't remember much cause then he doesn't have to live with his regrets but then he says "Give me regrets as long as I get to keep the good memories as well".Thinkin bout it,its so true.When I look back at my life one day,I want there to be more good memories than regrets.That will definately drown the regrets!

I am: tryin to live dayz to the fullest.

I dance:A LOT!

I sing:along to all Ashlee Simpson songz.

I cry: a bit too much lately.

I am not always:quiet.It is very rare than you find me quietly sittin in a corner.You'll alwayz find me laughing and being noisy with a frenz.

I make with my hands: Apple muffins!(it's sorta my speaciality)Oh and no forgettin apple pies,pizza and chocalate cake.I do enjoy baking,it helps clear my head once in a while.

I write: a lotz of poem stuff about everything that goes on in my life.I usually throw all my emotions out on a piece of paper.Give me a radio,couple of cd's,a pen and a notebook.I'll be happy...

"IDA Scott Taylor wrote: 'Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.'"

P.S: Happy 18th Birthday Jay!!! Hope you have a great one!

Don't know why I feel so shattered; I really should have known better

[Mood: Hardworkin]

[Music: Evanescene - Lithium]

Vitz: I love ur life.

Me: Why?

Vitz: Cause it's a personal tv show

Me: Seriesly you don't wanna be in my place and I really need to fix thingz.The last thing I need now is Drama!

Vitz: Dude you already have drama!!

My week did contain lotz of drama.Hate it when his right!Newayz by the end of the week everything fell into place and it's been goin steady,not sure when I have to deal with everythin though cause am sorta proscratinating and pushin all of it off till the time comes to make decisions.And I guess am sorta gettin lazy 2 blog as well or I just haven't much to say.It could be either one.

Went to skool 3 times this week cause I didn't go last Friday and I sorta self-replaced.Everyone said they were pleased to see me more often which was pretty sweet of u guyz.I'm really hatin Math btw.I've been tacklin it all week and I come home lookin drained and mum thinks I have some social prob at skool.*sheesh*I told her the Algebra is makin me look this way.Everyone seems to be gettin busy for Awards nite and the gf asked if I would like to be in the play,I said okies,how bad can it be anywayz.Later found out it was gonna be a dramatic scene.Never been in a play before but dramatic scene won't be too bad I suppose,it's stage fright I worrin bout.And also that dance is botherin me quite a bit.Slow dance doesn't seem to be my thing but I definately can't bail now.BAH. T.Ben said the gf and I should stop sendin love notes to each other but we can't help it.Sendin notes are alwayz so fun.It helps pass time.Nowdayz there are less notes but she sends me "I heart u" sweets.It has loadz of caffain nad much more love.Keeps me goin.

Soon enough it's gonna be the end of another year.Talked bout New Year Resolutions with a fren the other day.They usually don't last too long and therefore we don't bother creatin one.I tried but failin to keep some just gets me disappointed so I decided to just have a main idea of what I wanna do for the year and just concentrate on walkin down tht path.This year I managed to accomplish partially what I wanted to do and there's 2 and half months left.Guess I gotta make the best out of it.

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past,
Stop planning the future,
Stop figuring out exactly how we feel,
Stop deciding what we want && just see what happens.

Cause Life's Like This

[Mood: Bored]
[Music: Avril Lavigne - Complicated]

So I randomly picked this survey from someone's blog.Seemed intersting..thought I'll just give it a shot.It's the Top 50 songs of my life...I don't think I can even keep in to 50 but what the heck..here goes:

1. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
2. Bethany Joy Lenz - Halo
3. Fall Out Boy - A little less sixteen candles, a little more touch
4. Ashlee Simpson - Beautifully Broken
5. Jojo - Too Little Too Late
5.Evanescene - Call Me When You're Sober
6. The Fray - How To Save A Life
7. Hilary Duff - So Yesterday
8. Jack's Mannequin - The Mixed Tape
9. John Mayer - Bigger Than My Body
10. Kelly Clarkson - Since You Been Gone
11. Fall Out Boy - Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner
12. Jack's Mannequin - Dark Blue
13. Fall Out Boy - Chicago Is So 2 years Ago
14. Jem - Just A Ride
15. The Killers - When You Were Young
16. Lifehouse - Hanging By A Moment
17. Liz Phair - Why Can't I?
18. Lost Prophets - Rooftops
19. Marion Raven - End of Me
20. Matchbox Twenty - Unwell
21. Lost Prophets - Broken Hearts,Torn Up Letters and A Story of a Lonely Girl
22. Marion Raven - Break You
23. Morningwood - Nth Degree
24. Feeder - Feelin A Moment
25. The Fray - Over My Head(Cable car)
26. Goo goo dolls - Iris
27. Gavin DeGraw - I Don't Wanna Be
28. Good Charlotte - The World Is Black
29. Backstreet Boys - Siberia
30. Sum 41 - Pieces
31. Sugarcult - Memory
32. Ashley Parker Angel - Let Me Go
33. Sugarcult - Pretty Girl(The way)
34. Good Charlotte - Predictable
35. Goo goo Dolls - Better Dayz
36. Nickleback - Photograph
37. Nelly Furtado - Try
38. Ben Moody ft. Anastacia - Everything Burns
39. Pink - Who Knew
40. Nelly Furtado ft. Juanes - Te Besque
41. Rascal Flatts - God Bless The Broken Road
42. Christina Aguilera - Fighter
43. Simple Plan - Perfect
44. Story of The Year - Sidwalks
45. Simple Plan - Shut Up!
46. Teddy Geiger - For You I Will (Confidence)
47. The Veronicas - Everything I'm Not
48. Ashlee Simpson - L.O.V.E
49. Ashlee Simpson - Love Makes The World Go Round
50. Avril Lavigne - Losing Grip

This bunch of tunes mean a whole lot to me.The lyrics can totally tell a story.It would go great with my autobiography.
~L.O.V.E~

Comfortin HugzZz and Naughty Eyes

[Mood: Tired]
[Music: Goo goo dolls - Iris]

The past week has been one hell of a roller coaster ride and I've been dealin with a lil at a time.Tryin not to stress on details too much and not worryin too much.I've been dealin with a lot of emotional stuff but am grateful for all those that's been helpin me pull through it all.....

Monday to Thursday was very usual.Haven't been studyin much and have been sleepin a lotz.My sleepin scheulede is just all messed up and I've been findin it very diffult to fall asleep at nite these dayz and am super tired in the mornings.So am currently a total nite person who snoozes durin the daylight.So not good! Gotta fix that soon or else am gonna be in loadz of trouble....Skool was borin on Wednesday.Everyone was totally just stonin and all.Thingz just was very slow.

Friday seemed to be turned up a notch and I had deal with a lil drama.Actually quite a large amount of drama.The mornin seemed good and then the gf decided to use my lappie to chat with a certain someone which wasn't too good of an idea.Chapel was really good.T.Ben Lee spoke and everyone just started cryin and yes even me.It was just really good to feel God's Presence there.Went home and helped my mum prepare for dinner guests.Then slept for like a tiny bit.Had prayer meeting and the guests went home rather early.Chilled outz and then I had to deal with the damage of the online conversation the tht gf had.Thank goodness the person was gracious and to make thingz worse I decided on a hasty decision bout somethin and he was just totally sweet bout tht as well.In the end everythin turned out pretty smoothly.You know who you are.Thankz for being so gracious and such a darlin! The other drama I had to deal with was a missin pet sis.That was just sooo bad!Nearly half the skool was in frantic search and I was just pissed with the guy responsible.Like really pissed!We finally did locate her but ever if I do see her after this...she's bound to get it....

I was excited bout Saturday cause I was gonna go out with a few frenz.Woke up and thought I was gonna be freakin late but turned I was one of the few early ones.Checked out Vitz Ipod which is super cute!!Decided to go play pool with Pete,my sis,Vitz and Marielle.I haven't played in the longish of time and sorta really sucked.But the company was definately fun.Had breakfast at Mc'ds then.Went to watch the others play pool.Met the guy I was totally pissed with and we chatted and all but I was still angry and comfortin huggiez alwayz do good.Thankz Vitz!!! Marielle and I were waitin for frenz who were late.We waited for a bit and they both arrived nearly the same time.Had lunch with the fren at Secret Recipe...had brownies with ice-cream..total yum!..then played more pool,I got a whole lot better thankz to his help and now am not too bad I think..lolz...we hanged out for a bit and then headed home around 7.Went to my aunt's place and I was so dead.Got Red Bull and leaned on any wall available.Reached home around 9 somethin,practiced the organ for church,chatted on the phone and slept around 12 somthin.A really good day..it was totally nice to hang with the homies and just have a good time!

Sunday was smooth.It was Thanksgivin Sunday and we had the usual auction and now we have unusual amounts of cakes at home.Slept more and watched a movie at nite.Waited for OTH on 8tv,they've just started shownin season 3 but they showed Eve instead!!!! Seriesly they need to check their scheulede and not put the wrong thing on the papers.

Though the week was long.I had loadz of fun durin the weekend.More lesson learned.One of it is that I should alwayz seriesly think before makin hasty decisions.I seem to do that quite a bit.It messin up problems too much.So from now,more thinkin before approachs.The week ahead should also consist of more studyin.I gotta finish everything by November.So its more hardwork after this if I want a Christmas break..

P.S: I still haven't downloaded Season 4 of OTH..*snifflez*

Holdin On For Dear Life

[Mood: Hurt]
[Music: Evanescenes - My Immortal(Band Version)]

I want to appreciate the times when moments are made into memories. I want to embrace them, cherish them, & never forget that they come so few & far between. I know that wherever life takes me, these moments will always follow. They remind me of what's truly important. It's not just life, but living. It's the journey, the destination, & all the points in between. & I must admit, I like what I see.

Boys will break your heart,
Friends will betray you,
Parents will seem too strict,
And life might annoy you,
But you should always remember
That there's a purpose for these things to happen to us.
So keep your head up & your spirits high..
Because if you don't..Life will just pass you by.

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Who knew that things could be like this?
I never wanted things to be this way.

Neither of us can see

[Mood: Emo-ish]
[Music:Incubus - Neither of Us Can See]

The week has been long and emo-ish.Pullin through and tryin to make the most of it.Lessons learned,did somethin unexpected(:P),hanged on the phone from 1 till nearly 3 in the mornin...alwayz wanted to do that! and trust me its great fun specially if that person is someone very dear 2 ya,daydreamt throughout the week.Thought too much ahead on the future,crapped a lot,missed a fren or two,cried for a few nites and laughed a lot.
I love being a teenager but the emo part has been gettin to me this week.....

Believing in learnin through experience so strongly...I'm a rather stuborn person I would say.Being told again and again but refusin to hear.Confused lately but the truth can be heard but the here's the truth about the truth.It hurts so we lie.A part of me doesn't wanna move on and a part of me knows that if I don't,it'll be really stupid of me.Left with so many memories and scars.Wantin to scream out loud but not heard,wantin to be held but distance gets in the middle..all I have left is the window panel I started with...

I think am just gonna lay back and not stress on it too much for a while.Just waste time and have loadz of fun.Maybe I just stressed on it a bit whee to much and I guess it's time to chill outz with the homies and concentrate on livin dayz with no regrets.

Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn

[Mood: Content]
[Music: Blink 182 - Down]

"Learnin a lil more each day with a touch of love and care"

This phrase is so true.Livin every day to its fullest,savorin every moment and learnin somethin tht you'll kept with you for the rest of the life.I learned somethin valuable 2day and that is to never give up.Frenz are one the best support systems you can have and I really value mine.I lean on them so much and can alwayz depend on them.I love you guyz sooo much!!!!!

I haven't update for a while but there has been much goin cept the usual dose of drama that keeps me goin.Skool's been fine and dance practices have started for the Awards Nite so I'll be complainin bout how sore I am very soon(:p)......Last week was filled with seminars..actually not tht much but two and that was a lot for me....but it was fun to hang with the gang and we camwhored after tht at the carpark...so tht pretty nice...

Besides all that dayz have been goin and am tryin my best to enjoy all of it.Though the last few dayz have been hard on me and it's been a while since I've visited my window panel...so decided to give it a lil visit on Tuesday nite and was listenin to Backstreet boyz...which turned out to be such a bad idea.....I've been feelin guilty and upset bout some stuff and it's been killin me badly...I didn't do it on purpose or anythin and if I could I would have gone...but I was in a circumstance where I couldnt.....to me it seems like am showin that I don't care but I do..I care soo much and really wish I could be there for you,to look after you...I really would....

Well that's it for nowz...am gonna go tackle English darlin'!

Dream as you'll live forever,Live as you'll die today

P.S: Thankz for all your comments about my gettin a tattoo and piercing.It was really intersting to read speacially Esther's...lolz...I knew you would wanna strangle me if I told ya(:P)

Tryin to find Sanity in Insanity

[Mood: Diligent]

[Music: Nsync - It's Gonna Be Me]

The weekend has been good.And I can't complain much,the occasion intersting stuff has been happening and I've been feelin contented in a way.

Friday at skool was fun.The gang for the day was Nick,Abel,Adrien and of course the gf.We were talkin bout tattoes and piercings.Am thinkin of gettin my tougue pierced..lolz..and yes am series..still considerin actually..they were sayin it hurtz like hell so am not really sure dearies.Newayz the rest of the day was as usual as it can be.After skool, was hangin around the futsal area when this guy who kept starin apporoched and said I seemed rather familiar and actually he did to.Maybe he must have seen me around or somethin...We chatted for a bit and then I headed home.Had prayer meeting at nit3zz and crashed around 1 somethin..

Family decided to go visit my grandparents outstation on Saturday and I decided to be good and stay home and study.Yes I know those of you readin are goin "Yea rite"...lolz...but I did do some work,hang on the phone with Kc for an hour and onlined for the rest of the day.The day was pretty borin but I managed...

Sunday was a drag and sleepin at 2 in the mornin the nite before did not help.Had lunch and slept for 3 hrs more.Watched tv for a bit and did absolute notta.My sundayz really needs a new scheudle....BAH~

Will be goin to skool on Wednesdayz from this week onwards..thts so fuckin good!...and also theres so conference thingi this weekend...not excited bout tht but the part where I got to spend time with the homies..I miss them...*snifflez*....yes I know am bein weird...DUH! its fuckin to early in the mornin...Btw tragedy struck again..Micheal Scheumacher is retirin...September seems to be effin sad...

LOVEZ

There's nothing Good about Goodbye

[Mood: Tired]

[Music: Nick Lachey - What's Left of Me]

Its like I fell for you from the top of the highest mountain &

You caught me just before I hit the ground,

Then you took me back up to the top &the view was amazing,

But you just pushed me over the edge with No one to catch me.

You wanna know what living life to the fullest actually is? Its waking up on a monday morning with no complaints. Its knowing you always deserve to laugh. Its doing what feels right no matter what. Its doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. Its about being yourself, cause no one can tell you you're doing it wrong

LIFE;

It's just one big game.

Its ups & downs,

Rights from wrongs,

True from fake.

It's just one big game,of love & hate.

Climb out on this rooftop.

Stare at the city lights below us.

The world belongs to us tonight.

P.S: Condelence to the family and friends of Steve Irwin.One of the greatest enviromentalist of his time.

Randomness

[Mood: Sleepy]
[Music: J.Lo - Jenny From The Block]

It's been a long week and its gonna be that wayy for a couple of weeks more.I've got loadz of skool work and am slightly procrastinating.Which is effin not good! Heres a few highlights of the week:
-Spent an hour plus on the phone.That was definately fun!
-Watched "Monster House" which wasn't too bad for an animation.Not the greatest but didn't suck big time.
-Was totally bored and watched "Jersey Gurl" on Cd.Sweet story.Probably the 3rd time watchin it.
-Had lunch at Chilli's on Sunday.Tacos make me happy! Really....

That's bout it...*BAH*

Here's a long survey:
Name Ezreena
Nick Name(s) Reena,Ren
Birthday 26/3/90
Height Not sure
Hair Color Black
Hair Length Longer than shoulder
Eye Color Black
Birth Place K.L
Current Location K.L
Zodiac Sign Aries
Clothing Style Dependin on my mood
Do you wear make up? Yeah,eyeliner and lipgloss!
Does anybody you know think you're emo? Not really
Do you have any tattoos? No
Do you want any tattoos? If so, where? Maybe a butterfly on my ankle or L.O.V.E on my wrist
Do you wear hats? Sometimes
Do you drink? Nope
Do you swear? Yeah
Do you smoke? Nada
Have you ever done drugs? Nope
Have you ever drank? Does wine count?
Have you ever been drunk? Nope
Have you ever barfed from drinking too much? No
Would you ever try a cigarette? Not sure
Have you ever tried a cigarette? Maybe(:P)
What day is it? Monday
What's your favorite day of the week? Friday and Saturday
Are you single/taken? Single
Do you like anybody? If so, who? Perhaps(:P)
Do you want to get married? Yea
Do you want to have kids? Yup
Do you have a job? If so, what? Nope
Do you have any pets? Nah
How many computers are in your house right now? One
Are you on a lap top right now? Yea
Are there any laptops in your house right now? Yup
When's the last time you were asked out? A few dayz back
When's the last time you realized/thought for sure somebody likes you? umm...
Do you enjoy single or group dates more? Single
Do you like Starbucks? Yup,Love it!
Do you consider yourself High-Maitenence? Sorta off
Have you ever been called a slut? Nope
Have you ever been beaten up? No

Back To The Random/Sweetness...

Do you like going to the beach? Love it!!!!!
Have you been out of country? Yup
If so, how many times? Bout four
How many states have you been too? Quite a few
How many times have you moved? Never
Do you watch MTV? Yup
Who knows you better;; your friends or your family? Both

Friends

Who's your "best friend"? Actually I have best frenZzZ
Who do you talk to most on the phone? Kc
Who have you known longest? Don't really remember
Who do you miss most, if any? Jason
Who's the friendliest? Christine
Who knows you best? My homies!
Who can make you smile no matter what? Kc,Vitz,Esther and Christine
Who do you get in the most fights with? No one
Who do you get along best with? All of them
Who has the nicest house? Not sure,they all have nice houses..lolz

"The Last"

who IMed you? Jay
Thing you ate? Gum
Thing you drank? Apple Juice
Clothing Item you bought? A pair of sandals
Coffee Drink you've had? Coffee
Would You rather eat a snickers or hersheys bar? Hershey!!
What was the last movie you watched? Jersey Girl
What are you listening to? J Lo- Jenny From The Block
Do you have Cable for your TV? Yupz
Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really
Who do you think is thinking about you right now? Not sure
What color is your room? Purple Pinkish
Why did you take this survey? Fuckin boredom

An open heart is suicide in my philosphy

[Mood: Emo]

[Music: Evanescence - Going Under]

Stuck at this very moment,

Something does not feel right,

I've never really took time,

To listen to my heart,

Let it have a say in all this,

And as I sit quietly,

Trying to hear,

In the silence,

Am hoping for the truth,

Even its something I don't wanna know,

Cause sometimes the truth,

Is the last thing thing you want to hear.

Take it back, take it all back now

The things I gave, like the taste of my kiss on your lips,

I miss that now

I can't try any harder than I do

All the reasons I gave,

Excuses I made for you
I'm broken in two.

Without pain,

There would be no suffering.

Without suffering, we would never learn from our mistakes.

To make it right - pain && suffering is the key to all windows,

Without it there is no way of life.

Yes I do know how it feels,

To sit on the edge of your bed,

Listening to a sad song and wishing,

It would all just end.

Toughest parts in life is deciding

When to give up or just try harder.

Photograph momentz!

[Mood: Happy/Sick]

[Music: Snow Patrol - Run]

It's been a while since the last update but thingz have rather uneventful dearies and I've been drowning in skool work is still is actually...Newayz...

Friday I headed to skool after 2 weeks of not being there and notta much has changed,not many ppl attended cause it was the last day and all.Also everyone was studyin even on the last day but we had more privilages to talk and all.Kinda laid back.Had lunch with Kc,Vitz,Shaun and Samuel,tht was fun.We kept crappin a lot as usual,shufflin through bizzare topics..lolz....The teachers took turns at chapel and talked bout the semester.That was bout it.Headed home around 3 somethin and had to get ready for the gatherin thing.

Went to Denise's place rather early like an hour plus but the organizing community was there and I helped out a lil here and there and it's a pity cause us gurlz were unsure on how to fry fries(:P) and the coach who teaches football at skool helped out.The guyz were doin the bbq and then more ppl arrived.Vitz and a few others...hanged with them a while and then ppl started gettin thrown into the pool soon enough.Everyone was screamning and holdin onto the doors..lolz...it was definately a hilarious sight...I was thinkin twice bout goin in and all but if I didn't I was gonna get thrown in with my jeans and all...hanged a lil with Michelle,Esther,Christine and Rachel...and then changed and got thrown in along with Michelle...I don't really remember by whom though...but whenever anyone got out,you were bound to see them back in again..lolz....this turned out to be a more pool party thing then a gatherin actually..haha...had dinner and watched a lil of "Benchwarmers"..seemed reallllly dumb and all...then had some games and talent time..Belinda's dance team won..hanged around for a lil with Vitz and Michelle....said our goodbyes and then headed home.I was freakin tired and all..slept around 3 somethin after a lil bit of onlining.Had a fuckin great time!

Went down to my grandparents place the next morning and was totally worn.Slept and was bored pretty much the whole day and was hooked on this book I was reading.It was from the Redemption series...borrowed it from the gf..it was really intersting and all...came home bout 10 somethin and put the neighrbours to sleep with my organ playing...*BAH*...

Sunday was very very slow.Didn't go nowhere after church and came home and slept somemore.Onlined a lil and filled the gf bout the events on Friday since she couldn't make it and all.Had dinner and read till bout 3 in the morning.

It's been ok lately and am glad I had great weekend.Wonderful time with my frenz..gosh I love you guyz soooo much!!!......Bet you know tht....(:P)

I'm down with the cold and am aching...fuck...goin to go get some sleep...loadz of sleep...*worning outz*

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry;

Show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile

~Hugz~

Te Busque(I looked for you)

[Mood: Tired]
[Music: Nelly Furtado ft. Juanes - Te Busque]

Dayz are going by,
So fast that I can't seem to hold onto much,
Being forced to grow up,
That I can't seem to have time to sit down and breath in moments,
Havin to make decisions and letting go,
Never really thought that I would have to come to this very day,
But I gotta catch up with these times,
Holdin dear to the people I love,
And lettin go of the ones that seem to have no hope,
I guess this is what it feels like to GROW UP,
It really is no FUN.

Isn't it ironic?
When we're young - we can't wait to be old,
Now that we're old - we wish we could be young again.

Your not the person who you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me.
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry,
Before it drains the light right from your eyes.
And I can't go on that way.
So I'm letting go of everything we were.
But It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

On the phone a year later, he asked her if she missed him.Her reply was "I don't miss you, I miss the guy who talked to me every second he could, who sat home on Saturday nights when we couldn't be together thinking of me....The guy who was my shoulder to lean after a bad day, The guy who told me he'll alwayz love me, That's the guy I miss. How could I miss you? I don't even know you."

~XoXo~

As I look up to the sky

[Mood: Hopeful]

[Music: Angels and Airwaves - Valkyrie Missile]

There's the part of you that wants to be loved,
And then you are afraid of love,
It's the fear of hurting that keeps a person away from happiness,
It's the fear of heart brokenness,
And so we build high walls,
While others decide to run way,
Some decide to bury,
And then there are those that go after that love,
And take chances cause it seemed worth all that pain,
It's all bout the risk in life,
And the will to walk over the boundaries,
Or out that door,
Cause it takes bravery to step out into this world everyday,
And telling someone you care for them,
Or that you love them,
Never knowin when death may come along your way

Maybe seconds or hours away,
Do we need a tragedy to notice how brave we are,
Cause everyone is fighting their own battle,

We just don't know every single of it.

Things change + people change,

That doesn't mean to forget the past or try to cover it up,

It simply means,

Move On & Treasure all those Memories.

We live

We love

We forgive

And never give up

Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above,

And today we remember to Live and to Love.

P.S: 200th Post!!!

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

[Mood:Emo]

[Music: Sugarcult - Pretty Girl(The Way)]

Brooke: That suxs.....Sorry

Rachel: Why? I mean you and me.....Why are you sorry?

Brooke: Because I know what it feels like.....to have your heartbroken and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Rachel: Not even your worse enemy....

Brooke: Not even her.

That was from "One Tree Hill".I was watchin it the other day and that set of lines really made me think.I feel that's sorta true in a way.If you've had your heart broken,you really wouldn't want to wish it on others.Gettin your heartbroken is no joy ride.But we all carry hope around and have faith that time will heal....we'll alwayz carry that scar around and maybe occasionaly it will hurt.But I wanna sit down one day and not regret my past.I wanna look back at those memories and smile.I wanna say to myself that I had the time of my life and it just didn't work out.It was just another teenage tragedy.

Through this process of healing,you find that friends is what gives you strength to move on.Even when you feel like giving up and sometimes when they know you're gonna make another mistake.They tell in the softest of wayz and let you learn slowly in your own way,always by your side.

Mostly you gotta carry that flame,that ray of hope even when you really can't hold on any longer.Cause that's whats gonna make us stronger and help us make wiser decisions in the dayz to come.

This is a really touching song by Across Five Aprils:

Complete and total adoration,

My gift to you, my heart was yours,

In ten weeks you shaped it,

In one night you murdered it.

Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,

That first step that you took was the worst.

Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,

And I still have these memories,

But we'll never see what we could have been.

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

Remember, cause that's all you can do.

We'll never make another memory,

We'll never make another memory.

I wish I would have died in your arms the last time we were together,

So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.

This time I thought things were real,

You said they were,

What happened?

You were a priority,

Was I an option?

I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.

Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.

Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,

I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough.

So, we'll go our own ways,

And hopefully you'll remember these things I've told you,

Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity.

A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,

But I guess I've learned from it.

But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?

I don't consider this a mistake,

I just wish the story didn't end this way,

Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.

Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

On a much lower note

[Mood:Cheery]
[Music:Panic! At The Disco - Time To Dance]

I guess the balance is what keeps us going.This week ended with a much lower note.Actually in a way too low note.It got caught up with memories,judges judging and just too much more.

On Thursday was my counsin's birthday so headed to the mall.Had Mcds for tea,my usual round of ice cream and fries.Brought back a few memories cause when we went out,that was wht we usual had.So I totally zoned out after that and since my sis was sittin opposite me she was like am not him okies..so don't do anything weird....*bah*.... but as usual shoppin makes me cheerful so I got myself a new pair of shoes from Carlo Rino.Their super cute!!Spent the rest of the dayz at my aunts.

Friday was very casual.With a few of the usual ppl missin.Chapel was done by Aunty Judith this week.Spent the day with Shaun and hothot well thts Adrien's nick.His alwayz known as LC aka Leng Chai.That's what everyone said when they heard a 19yr old was comin to skool.Even the guyz were excited..lolz...yeah I know ever so gay.And I got an intersting compliment as well...I heard him tell the gurlfren that am so "cartoon" whatever that means but thats the 1st time anyone said that bout me but its cool(:P)Came and home and it was fuckin dramatic and from then on till the rest of the weekend..Fuck seemed to be my fav word.Had dinner with the family at nite and it wasnt exactly fun.Watched some screwed up movie after that.."The Long Weekend"..it was lame but sorta funny in a way....

Saturday was an utter bore.Rotted at home.Watched "Home Alone" at nite again..like for 5th time I suppose....I have no idea why we keep watchin tht so many times...*sheesh*..
Sunday was okies I guess..had lunch and my bro got his bicycle..slept for pretty much the whole day.Watched "Oprah" that nite..when am tragically bored..tht show doesnt seem to be too bad but seriesly it spreads really good messages around...

Goin to skool 2day afternoon.I'll be going twice a week for the next 3 months cause their havin some sex education class thing..am glad I'll get 2 update the gf twice a week now then once a week...thts the great part bout this...gosh I can't wait to rant to her bout my fucked up weekend..fuck..

So since this week sorta suxed..next weekend better rock..least better be nicer than this one anywayz...

Be yourself,
No one can ever tell you
You're doin it wrong.

Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna came to soon.

A cute,hilarious tale

[Mood: Carefree]

[Music: Nada Surf - Alwayz Love]

I found this cutely hilarious.Check it out darlin's!!

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true! I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Time out with the GurlzZz!

[Mood:Happy]
[Music: Justin Timberlake: Sexyback]

My weekend has ben a total blast.I needed a good time quite badly and I had loadz of fun with my gurlz and family!!I didn't go to skool this friday cause apparently chapel got moved to Thursday for this week.Spent the day being bored at home and then went to watch Pirates of the Carribean: Dead man Chest's.It was sooo veryyy cool!!!!I absolutely loved it.Johnny Depp was real good and hilarious as usual.Keira Knightly and Orlando did improve a little in this then the 1st.Very cool speacial effects and all.This is definately goin down in my fav list!

Woke up around 9 somethin,though I was suppose to wake up earlier but couldn't cause I crashed around 2 the night before.Rushed and left to Esther's place.Helped her with the cooking and then while waiting,she did for me a manicure which looked super cute!Christine and the rest arrived around 2.We had late lunch and then watched "White Chicks" which was totally hilarious.Had gurlie talks and then jammed in her music room. Later Christine and her family left around 5.While waiting to go to CHC,Esther and I decided to webcam-whore..lolz....Left at 7 and reached half way through worship.Service was good.I really missed it there cause I haven't been goin for a while now.Came home around 10 somethin.Had supper,practiced organ around 11..seriesly I entertain my neighbours every Saturday at 11 with my authentic organ playin(:P)..

Sunday was very casual and I was super tired.I was practically fallin asleep durin sermon which thank goodness no one saw.Had lunch with my aunt and uncle and then came home and slept.Onlined at nite and then watched "High School Musical" yetz again.This must be like the 4th time am watchin it.It has a typical Disney storyline but cool songs and choregraphy.After that my sis and I watched "Aquamarine".It has a really cute story line bout friendship and all.Very sweet!

This week has been rather intersting with its usual ups and downs.I know now that after every hard fall and while pickin yourself up,you became a lot stronger.You can totally feel the change,sometimes your unsure if your changin who you are but its actually the process of building more to who you already are.These few months have been very challenging and I've been hit with the best and worst and I learned so much from it all.I know now that I can alwayz depend on my frenz and I love them to bitzz for tht!!!I've alwayz gone by this philosphy that learning comes through experience and experience is definately a hard teacher.But because of this am not goin to run away from life nor am I gonna restrain myself but am sure gonna learn from it and be careful.

Here are some of the pics we took at Esthers:

P.S~Love ya loadzzZ babe.I had loadz of fun!!Thankz for everything!!! ~MuaxXx

Baby you know it's just Too Little Too Late

[Verse 1]

Come with me

Stay the night

Just say the words but boy it don't feel right

What do ya expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You take my hand

And you say you've changed

But boy you know your begging don't fool me

Because to you it's just a game (You know it's just too little too late)
So let me go now'

Cause time has made me strong

I'm starting to move on

I'm gonna say this now

Your chance has come and gone

And you know...

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
Yeah yeaaahhh... It's just too little too late... Mhmmm

[Verse 2]

I was young

And in love

I gave you everything

But it wasn't enough

And now you wanna communicate (You know it's just too little too late)

Go find someone else

And letting you go

I'm loving myself

You got a problem

But don't come asking me for help'

Cause you know...

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

[Bridge]

I can love with all of my heart, baby

I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)

With a player like you I don't have a prayer

That's the way to live

Ohhhh... mmm noooIt's just too little too lateYeaahhhh...

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
You know it's just too little too late [2x]

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

Am really lovin this tune rite now!!

Great tune and lyrics.

I have yet to watch the video though.

It sounds a lot mature than when she started.

Great song!!

Enjoy~