Just As It Was

[Music: All Time Low - Six Feet Under The Stars]

I had pancakes for dinner! And I made them..! Though they were instant but wth..
Went to the gym yesterday after a looogish time
I don't really like cardio
I should go more often..I know

Been hybernating a lot lately..am gettin fustrated cause of it
I wish I wasn't so tired so much..
It's not like my hours are as crazy as before but I still sleep durin the day quite a bit..*ish*
I miss late nite crazy convo's..nowdayz its mostly on skype, not on my phone
Larry feels neglected..I plainly feel it
Btw I my phone's name is Larry..

I nearly lost Steve (my laptop) this week.My adapter started singing weirdly n I couldn't use it for a while.
I went on panicking mode and insisted to dad that he get me a new one..
But the next day it recovered and it's healthier now..*sigh*..thank goodness!!
I lovee steve too much..But his adapter wire is a bit loose though so yeah...
I feel bad

My mood swings hav been a lil crazy these dayz..I go from angry to bubbly in a couple of minutes..
I think I'm takin the emo-ness and turning into these new emotions so I won't depress myself to much..

I made a wish list yesterday..not on paper but just in my head
*thankz One Tree Hill for the idea*
The list included all that I want
I feel motivated!

The lack of updates is because of the S.A.T lockdown...
P.S: It's a personal lockdown..my own intentions..
Though I think I should be studyin more..I've been bummin aroun a wee bit to much..
I SHOULD study MORE!!

I'm proud that I know soo many knew words from my vocab list
Am in the early stages of erudition...and..startin to develop pedantic ways

Am off to do a practice a test!

The real deal is in approximately a week or so...

Birthday! Birthday!

Happy Birthday Daniel (lala chai) and Wesley..!!!

U guyz are celebratin your last yrs of ur teenhood..hehe..

So make sure do spend it well..!

Have a great one!!

XoXo

Vulnerability

[Music: Leona Lewis - Here I Am]

Vulnerable: Capable of being emotionally and physically wounded ( Meriam-Webster)

Sometimes without realization we put ourselves into such vulnerable positions.We think that by putting ourselves out there that another would understand our past and help us through the future.Secretly hoping that they do not take advantage of it all,knowing all the emotionally weakness and soft points that we carry deep within; revealing only to those that has given us a sense of secruity.

Without realization we show our care and love to another in our on little ways.Most of time without the another knowing the meanings of these little gestures and there are the rare occasion where we speak out our emotions just so its our there and its presence is made known.

Putting oneself out there selflessly is an act of courage and strength that not many possess.Maybe cause of past experiences or a remaining scar that we refuse to let another into our lives.We may have our reasons,nevertheless there are moments where a ray of hope shine's through and there's that tiny voice that rings in your head saying "maybe just maybe it will be different this time" and at times we let that voice get through our screaming consciuous.

This risk can turn out to be a start of something wonderful or it could be what your conscious was killing you about.But then there are the callous people.The most cruel of sort.The kind that is subtle at first and just when you have faith over the top,they push you of the cliff and leave you to fall face first.That's the kind that hurt the most and your couscious takes over from here, killing you about your doltishness.That's the kind that mixes anger and fustration and pain,balling up into this bitterness that you carry along with you till the day you decide to forgive and let go.

I've put myself in situations like this quite a few times but the most recent was totally unexpected.At first I was just plainly so mad..truly I've never been so angry at a person before..I think it was mostly fustration and disappointment.Just a huge percentage of it Disappointment though.But I'm takin it all in and sorting it out in my own way,this time without anger getting in and taking over.Personally anger just kills you and it's the one thing that I never wanna kept within and hold on to.So am letting it all go and taking it as another lesson learned the hard wayy...

18th Celebration ( Part 2)

[Music: Fergie - London Bridge]

On friday I planned my 18th celebration.Am not sure why but this 18th thing has been a huge deal for me and I kinda had a rough plan ever since I was 16 I think.I just really found this whole legal thing amusin! lol Well the whole plannin was not an easy at all not cause of everyone's scheulede but cause of the fuckin drama that got in the wayy of it and was really murderin me but I wasn't gonna let anything get in the wayy of my 18th that I wanted soo much!

I went to pyamid at 2 something,mum wasn't pleased cause it was gonna rain like crazy soon and she was tired so yeah u get the idea..I was there waitin for benji who is usually fashionably late..ish ish..so then we went and got the movies tickets for "Shutter" and his fren at the couter got it for us at 6 bucks..how cool is tht! :D So that we went n got late lunch at Uncle Lim's.The movie was not too bad n not exactly scary but disgusting!!! Then we went n got a drink n he had to leave..so yeah I was alone..donkey!..(P.S: Ur forgiven though thankz to the hersheys!!! Now the marshmarllow conversation makes sense..haha)

Random-ness..!

So I went decided to past time window shoppin n rachey come at 7.When we were walkin bout,shaun called n said he can't make it so I was really bummed outz n with shaun bein the gentleman he is he would go into a string of sorrys so I didnt really show and I got total sounding from rachey for not showing..haha..so we decided to sit and she got a call from her fren and she was like "I alwayz bump into her wherever I go" So we sat and waited for her fren then all of a sudden she goes "Pevert!" lol..And there was shaun! So yeah techinally I got belated april fool..haha..we went to Italiannies and chilled while waiting for the others.They were takin forever so we ordered first.Rachey n I split the lasagna n shauny got the linguini.Oh n in conjunction with my legality of alcohol I got a cosmopolitan! It was vodka and cranberry.Jon and Nicki came after that daniel arrived.For dessert rachey n I got the bread pudding..OMG it was Heavenly!!! The others got the lunguini as well...Oh and my birthday cake was the bread pudding as well which I didnt mind at all! But before they sang "Happy Birthday",the waiter insisted I sing cause my speech was too short so I ended up singin Florida's Low..gosh do I lovee tht song :D Jon and Shaun(they ryhme..haha) were totally facinated by the waiteresses..lol..their flirtin skills were hilarious..really!

Captured Moments:

My cosmopolitan..!

Shaun's Linguini

This was planned :D

I lovee this pic..!

Well we kinda forgot to take a pic when it arrived..haha

Nicki looks soo cute in this..:)

Oh the la-la ness..!

The awesome bread pudding..!!!!

Flirtation Attempt

Future Marc Jacobs Model..!

After dinner the others went to get movie tickets..I wasn't much in a mood to watch anything and I wanted to go the Republic soooo much.Asked Shaun if he wanted to drop by there before we leave. So we went there and sat inside and the best part was we were havin this catch up convo n was practically screamning over the music..haha..I got the chocolate diamond then..some kind of alcohol with chocolate chips in it...It was really yummy! The others came n we camwhored.Daniel got heineken and he treated me one as well..lol..I just really lovee tht place cause the environment is great and so is the music..they hav a real good dj!

Shaun and I left aroun 11 something cause he had to go to his fren's place.Dropped by there and then went home...

I had a really great time!! It was exactly the wayy I wanted it so yeah am happy..Thankz to everyone who came!..

xoxo

P.S: There are more piccy's on my facebook..!