Here I am starin at these same four walls alone again....

[Mood:Depressed]

[Music: Lindsay Lohan - Over]

Last Friday there was this inter skool debate and I was kinda late for skool but thank goodness I got there in time for the seniors debate or else I bet Kc would have killed me..lol....and when I get there..check out our convo..

Kc:*Waves*...Heyz,you look really nice 2day and ur glowing all over with signs of love..

Me:*Waves back*...Really?....Is it that obvious?

She kept sayin that it totally shows and that am even humming a lot these dayz..lolz...newayz the debate was intersting and the other skools were very agressive but sadly our skool lost.That day I met a couple of frenz I haven't seen for a few years and it was really good to see them.We talked bout the past and recapped great memories,our crushes and confirmed old rumours.I was havin such a good time that I missed lunch and all..lolz but the scheulede for that day was kinda flexible so it wasn't too bad.The rest of the day was spent with my best fren.....we talked a lotz bout our future,boyz and well more boyz..lolz..we stayed back till bout 4 somethin and was annoyin Eddy..the poor dude and the torture he goes through but even when we're totally insultin him,all he does is smile...his totally sportin..lolz...after skool went out for a bitz,came home and headed for the usual family thing.We just had dinner and came home...I was totally worn out after the longish day..

Headed to my grandparents place that morning.Was kinda bored there.We went around the town for a bit and I tried sushi and no I don't really like them..those thingz are totally tasteless...*sheesh*....headed home at nite but reached home only at around 11 cause the stupid highway was jammed...

Well I knew I was gonna have a loong and totally depressin Sunday and as usual my instincts were rite.I really hate goodbyes espeacially when there no "cya soon" around.It's was darn hard tellin someone good bye when you've known them pratically all your life.I was chokin my tears for the whole day and I tried my very best to go by the day with a smile so I won't get questions.My sis was sweet to try to make me feel better cause she was the only one at home that knew what I was going through.My mum had a slight feeling that I wasn't in too good shape either I guess cause she asked if I was ok and all and as usual I gave her the rest assured "of course".I was up till bout 1 in the mornin...figurin out why nothing good lasts long and I worked so hard for this and it wasn't suppose to end this way.After all we've goin through...it really wasn't suppose to be this way....

I woke up and the first thing that came to me was if yesterdays events was just another dream.Then reality sank in I suppose.You really can't play pretend for long at this age no matter how hard you try.I look like some racoon for am overcaffained,tired and havin this bad headache.If only there was a way to make me feel numb....but thank goodness for my frenz..what would I do without em'...Esther always knows when somethingz wrong...she just knows how 2 read me I guess...she called and said I sounded bad...we talked and she did make me feel better.She says I need a getaway..I think that 2.....but rite now all I want is to find hope...a ray of light that I would feel better soon...I really want to feel better but I suppose time heals....for I can't take this pain nomore.....It's slowly killin me on the inside and am fighting so hard that there'll be no signs on the outside....

If only the good things lasted longer,

If only we didn't have to say goodbye.

We can say goodbye now if that's what we have to do,

But here in my heart,

I'm still holding on to you.

Meeting you was fate,

Becoming your friend was a choice,

But falling in love with you was beyond my control.

I love you

For I Know Am Gonna Miss You

[Mood:Sad]

[Music:James Blunt - Tears and Rain]

All those wonderful memories together,
Spending time laughing and smiling,
Giggling and flirting,
They mean so much to me,
Those Christmas times where we got to spend those extra quality time,
By giving excuses of learning new songs,
The late night chats of getting to know each other,
Those silly little fights that always made us laugh a few dayz later,
Am gonna miss all of that,
Cause you make my weekends a little special all the time,
The thoughts of being able to see you on a Saturday nite makes me go to sleep smiling,
All those excuses we made,
So we can spend time of the phone,
I guess this is called life,
Where you've got to let go of some thingz,
And be mature bout it,
For I really am trying,
But I don't seem to be doing to well though,
I can't seem to sit alone without tears in my eyes,
For I haven't really learned on how to deal with change,

Looks like there's gonna be less of seeing you,
You know I always taught we're gonna have times times like that,
But I guess that's what I hoped for,
Your really special to me,
And I have no idea how to explain that,
All I know is you mean a lot to me,

And I love you so much,
Even as write this I have tears in my eyes,
Cause I know my darling that am gonna miss you,
Miss you ever sooo sooo much............

From Here It's All Bout Learning To Dance In The Rain

[Mood:Bored]

[Music: Snow Patrol - Run]

So on Friday there was this field trip sorta thing to a recording studio.Headed for breakfast at some mamak shop and meet the gang.At breakie,Kc and I made a deal that we were going to have laodz of fun that day cause we both needed it ever so badly.She was on the phone with me last nite and I told her I was going to make sure she had a good time the next day but it turned outz I needed to have a good old day outz to cheer me up.After breakie,we headed to the studio.It wasnt too large but it was okies.There was some really cool equiment and all.While waiting for them to set up,we were listening to Kah Weng play "Kelly Clarkson's-Because of You"....that boy has talent,he could play by hearing!Newayz after that the guy in charge of the studio who was a music producer as well briefed us on what goes on and how recording is done and all.And then we got to do our own lil recording...that was really super fun!We kept camera-whoring as well...so will loadz pics as soon as I get them from Samuel........by afternoon we headed for lunch and headed back to skool.Chapel was okies but didnt pay much attention cause Kc and I were talkin and all cause we had to catch up on 2 weeks tales cause we didn't see each other for tht long.....and the whole back row seemed to busy yappin away as well.And thank goodness none of the teachers noticed either.....

After skool headed to Christine's place cause my mum couldn't pick me up at that time.So hanged there and ate a lotz..that alwayz happens when I go to her place..lol..I really needed to talk to someone that day and Christine is definately a great listener.So thankz a lotz gurl,love ya!!Newayz later came home and rushed off to KL.Had dinner at some Italian restaurant.They have the best spagetti's and they had this really intersting desert which was a pancake with loadz of vanilla ice-cream...that was really good and so was their iced cappacino with whip cream..Heavenly!..that was my 2nd glass of coffee for the day btw....it's just that caffaine gives me extra energy!..lol....Then did a little walking around and came home bout midnight.

Woke up around 11 in the morning cause I was really drained out from the day before.Hanged online and then headed to the pyramid.Did some shoppin and got 2 really cute tops!!Had dinner and come home round 8.Hanged on the phone with my baby till bout 10 something.We alwayz seem to loose track of time when we're on the phone(:P).....practiced the organ for a bit after that and then just listened to some tunes till bout 1..

Church was kinda fun actually!....something totally unexpected happened...okies like really really unexpected but it was all good.Went to the mall later and got a new tankini!!!I needed one so much and it's my fav colour.It's black and red.Now all I need for my beach vaca is a new pair of shades.I just learned the other day that next month am goin for a 5 day vaca to some beach area.So am totally physced bout that...I love beachs!!!!!....Came home and onlined after that and then my dad decided to help me get the kittens off my roof.Yes the cat had kittens on my roof and they've been rather noisy.I really couldn't stand it and so we took them down.Am not much of a cat person but those kittens were rather adorable!Returned them to their mum later who seemed rather ficious.The rest of the evening was rather quite and boring.Did notta much but watch tv and listen to tunes.

My day seems to be rather quiet today.I've just been doin some skool work and downloading previous episodes of laguna beach.....it's rather sad that there's no new season for that but the good news is CBS has confirmed a season 4 for OTH!!! Can't wait!

You make me smile,

Even when your not trying.

Your life lies before you like freshly fallen snow.

Be careful where you step because every step will show.

Over the hills and far away

[Mood:Lovey-dovey]
[Music:Faith Hill - Breath]

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who lived in a kingdom far, far away. And in that kingdom there also lived a Boy, and the princess loved that Boy. And so the two decided to marry. Now in this kingdom, all is not well. So the princess and The Boy were set to be wed. And because she was a princess, the call went out for a beautiful gown. Now as the wedding day approached, the princess worried about the evil king, because although he had not always been this way his heart had turned dark and his kingdom had grown to fear and despise him. In the days before the wedding, the king surprised the princess and gave his blessing to the marriage. But the princess was still torn. Even though she had found her true love, it would mean that she would have to leave her faithful handmaiden behind forever. On the eve of the princess's wedding a lavish feast was arranged. Friends and royalty were summoned from lands far away to join the happy couple for a night of laugher and magic. As the night wore on, a calm fell upon the land. All was right in the world. If only for a moment. Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a beautiful princess who loved a Boy. But the people have their struggles, as all people do. And they had grown to fear and despise the king whose heart had turned dark. But in the end, the love between the princess and the Boy was undeniable and true. And over time that love would see them through anything. Magical things happened to them, things they couldn't explain, much like love itself. And like most fairy tales, the princess and the Boy lived happily ever after......at least I hope they do"

--One Tree Hill--

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours." -- Ayn Rand, "Atlas Shrugged"

~XoxO~

Simple Yetz Sweet

[Mood:Tired]

[Music:The Wreckers ft. Santana - I'm Feeling You]

So since Friday was a public holiday.My family decided to do the trado thing of picking a town and spending the whole day there.This time we decided to go to Ipoh.It was a nice scenic drive and the town was rather cute.It's has some nice shoppin places and great food!This is the 1st place we went to tht I actually liked.Spent the day at a water park there.The park is located in the middle of a chain of mountains so the area is real cooling and beautiful.In the evening we did a little shoppin here and there and had dinner.It was a nice day in all.Spendin time with the family was kinda nice.

I woke up back with my cold again.That's cause I spent a whole lotz of time in the rain the day before.Did some skool work in the morning and some chattin.In the evening my and sis and I went to City Harvest cause they were havin a musical play.It was very good!Went to the mamak with the cell group later and came home at 1 in the morning.Slept at nearly 2

It was miracle how I woke up precisely 8 that morning.Headed to church and went to the mall after that.Had lunch at Coca and came home and slept.Later in the evening headed to my aun't for dinner.Sadly Alanso won yesterday's race.I thought it was gonna be another Ferari win...*sheesh*....came home and onlined till bout 1.

Spent my morning with my darlin'.And did some studies and so here I am!Currently downloading "One Tree Hill's " season finale.Its sad that its over so fast.Am REALLY hoping for season 4 though it hasn't been confirmed.They better came up with a season 4!!!

"A priceless moment is when the person you've fallen in love with looks you right in the eyes
and

tells you that they're falling in love with you too."

We commited the perfect crime,

You stole my heart,

And I stole yours.

Good old country tunes

[Mood:Sleepy]

[Music: Rascal Flatts - Mayberry]

Well dearies,these last few dayz have been rather dull.I've been down with the cold after such a looogish time.So I've spendin my dayz sleepin a lotz.And that's not too good for me since am not a very excercising person...lolz...newayz these last couple of dayz I've been takin loadz of interest in country music.I got hooked on it cause of my dad.When I started developing interest in music,I use to listen to what my dad use to listen a lot.His into country and all.So that means I was into Shania Twain,Faith Hill and stuff like that.So ever since I've alwayz had love for country tunes.So recently I've been listening to a lot of Rascal Flatts,Keith Urban and KT Tunstall.Rascal Flatt is just a really great country band.They have some darn good songz and lovely lyrics.That's the best part bout country songz,they have really beautiful heartfelt lyrics that really make you think you know.....there's this song by them called "What hurts the most?" and it's been climbing the charts like crazy lately(I have music charts on my homepage ppl thts how I know..lol).So decided to give it a listen and by accident I downloaded the video.It turned out to be one of the best videos I've seen.It was like a movie in a 5 minute video.If you get a chance,do watch it.It makes you really appereacite life and it reminds that we should treasure every moment spent with people we love and to alwayz tell them they way we feel cause you never know what tomorrow brings.This was the first time that a video made me cry.It's a really beautiful tune.

Besides that,Keith Urban sounds sexy as usual.He has some really nice tunes 2.And his just so hot!!..(:P)...and then there's KT Tunstall...am not sure if she's country but I heard her song on American Idol,its called "Black horse and a cherry tree".Katherine Mcphee sang it last week.It's a fun song to dance around to though.

So I guess the last couple of dayz was spent around my music.It's just been rather slow but weekends alwayz seem to pick up the pace.

~Loves~

"Well I miss mayberry,

Sitting on the poach drinking ice cold cherry,

Where everthing is black and white."

-Rascal Flatts-

Live in the moment and never dwell on the past

[Mood:Sick]

[Music:Rascal Flatts - Feels Like Today]

One dose to make me feel well,

A little extra to drown the pain,

It's hard to hide these tears,

So it's better if I just remember bout them in my dreams.

Every word said carries so much meaning,

And each time its said,

It sinks down someone's soul,

So use every word with much thought.

Sometimes being so near,

May seem so far,

Cause there was much held back,

So alwayz let your heart speak for you.

I don't do well with change,

For I feel its breeze passin through,

With change comes so much more,

And I really don't want to know.

The best things in life don't happen unless you take risks.

Risk yourself and throw your heart out onto the table

Let yourself risk getting hurt,

Let yourself try something new.

Follow your heart and do what you feel is right

Fall in love; take a chance.

Hope the other person feels the same. love is a risk,

It could bring either happiness or pain.

Sometimes both.

Life is a gamble, you never know what it'll bring.

Live in the moment and never dwell on the past.

Every Moment Is Meant To Be Treasured

[Mood:Romantic]
[Music: Keith Urban - I Wanna Be Your Everything]

This Friday was definately intersting and super fun!Went to skool around 10 something and hanged around for a while.There was gonna be a debate that day and since am in the team I was suppose to do some research and all but I kinda got an exception that day cause we didn't really get the chance to met and discuss.And so the rest of the day was pretty much the usual and the debate was totally hilarious..The topic was that "Development destroys the environment."The guyz team for the seniors didn't really prepare and they put all kindz of weird ideas out there like cars running on milk one day and all...talk bout out of the extraordianry..lolz...the junior teams were kinda good as well and as usually Vitz the comedian was all blur on the stand.He did his homework but was super blur and lost....lolz...so skool finished late cause of that and I kept rushing Christine cause I was late to met my bf....this is the second time I was late...*sheesh*..newyz

I reached at the mall bout 15 minutes late or more cause I didn't really keep track of time.Setteled my sis with her frenz and all..more actually of my frenz but what the heck...so he was waiting for me with a newspaper in his hand and when asked why he said he wanted to look intelluctual..lolz..boyz!...the movie was pretty good...we watched M.I 3...Tom Cruise is really cute in it! and the speacial effects are darn but the thing is I kinda got distracted quite a bit durin the flick and all(:P)...we grabbed a bite after that and had our usual which is fries and ice-cream.My fav combo!....we decided to go for a bit of window shoppin after that actually more of me draggin him along..lol...there wasnt much to look at so we hanged around and talked and all...

Hanged at the mall till bout 8 cause my sis was watchin "She's the Man" and that started out late.My parents picked us up and we grabbed dinner after that.Came home and then watched "American Idol" cause I've already missed 2 weeks.This year contestant's are really good but it was sad to see Paris go.She's really talented for 17.But my fav is definately Chris!!That rocker guy just so rockz.Guess the finals is gonna be him and Katharine.Btw guyz the finals is gonna be on May 26.

So my day was just really good overall.Got to spend time with people I really love and all.Lately I've just really been enjoying life so much cause I know this years are never gonna come back so am enjoy the best of it!

So let's dance under the stars and
kiss in the pouring rain. cuddle in the
movies and cherish every moment spent.

Its The Way You Hold Me,Kiss Me And Love Me,
That Makes Me Dream Of You Each Night,
And Wake Up Smiling In The Morning.

Its Just One Those Dayz Where It All Just Seems Dark

[Mood:Sleepy]

[Music:Alanis Morissette - Everything]

My Tuesday wasn't too good.It kinda sucked actually.I was in a totally bad mood and I had no idea why.It just seemed that everything was goin downhill that day and I just kept snarling at quite a few ppl speacially my mum and sis.Everything just seemed to be very dark that day and am sorry to all those I tortured...really didnt mean to.I felt ever so lonely and just felt like crying for no apperant reason.That nite the only thing that I knew would clear my mind was to write and thank goodness it did clear my head a little.I prayed so hard that nite that those feelingz would leave before the sun rises the next day.I really cound't stand it and I couldnt find the reason why and that got me just fuckin fustrated.It just felt that those feelingz were never gonna go away and I wanted to find hope around somewhere.It just felt that I was out in the cold and I've gotta pick myself and walk in the pain for a very long time.

Embracing those feelingz that day was so hard for me and I felt I had to deal with it all by myself....

So here's a little something of what I wrote that nite

I pray ever so hard,

That I won't feel this way again,

I really wanna just get rid of it all,

And smile again to a new morning.

Numbness is slowly sinking in,

And all I want to feel is love,

The meaning of that seem to have withered away today,

And all I wanna do is sit by my corner and cry.

Is there an alwayz,

And has forever lost it meaning,

No one wants to be alone,

But sometimes we just are.

Yet more of busy dayz

[Mood:Bored]

[Music: The Killers - Somebody Told Me]

So here's an update on my weeks events...

From Monday to Wednesday,it was at its usual with nothing more.On Thurday,I had organ lessons and the teacher decided to excercise his vocal chords that day cause my lack of practice.And I realized that day tht it's time I put some sorta effort into this or else am gonna dread every Thursday...*sheesh*....and the event that saved that day was shoppin!...thank goodness I had some time for this..I got a really cute black top,a earing and some bangles that day..tht was kinda fun...the rest of the day was casual...

Skool was okies on Friday.Normal..Normal...came home around 5 and then went for a movie and a dinner that nite..dinner was fun cause the restaurant had this really cool chocolate fountain and all..so tht was fun..lolz...was kinda tired that night so slept early cause I was goin to have a long Saturday...

Woke up at 7:30 on Saturday mornin..yeah ur readin rite...7:30!!!..Am never up at this time usually so it was kinda weird,felt like another weekday and all...went over to Christine's place and left for the conference at bout 9 something..the whole event was good..justa whole bunch and gurlz and all..tht was nice..went back to Christine's at bout 4 something..chilled around and went to service after that..I came home around 11 something..had a pretty good day..

My Sunday was really tirin.I was totally worn outz from the day before.Church was usual and went over to my aunt's later and then came home and slept till late evening.Had a dinner that evening with the extended family cause my uncle was leavin to U.S that day.. so yeah...came home and did notta...I just slept somemore actually...

Monday was such a relaxed day.Woke up round 11 a.m,that lazed around the house.My whole family watched the "Perfect Man" with me and my sis.And they actually liked it..lolz..went over to my aunt's that evening and came home kinda late...

That's bout it I guess..it was pretty simple but it was all good...really tirin though..

There are 6 billion people on this world but sometimes all you need is ONE

~HuGz~