This Are What The Teenage dayz Are Made Of

[Mood: Content]
[Music: Dashboard Confessional - Don't Wait]

This year I've got through so much and collected so many picture perfect memories.Learned so much,laughed my heart out,cried my soul out and made mistakes.I do have a couple of regrets but I really don't feel like taking them back.I fell in love this year and got my heart shattered.I found love with my frenz and I've learned to apperiacte them ever so much cause they're really my support system.They've made me smile through rainy dayz and have lent their shoulders all the time.I love you guyz sooo much!!!!!This time around I've learned to lean on my lil sister a little bit here and there too.I know she really cares for me and thankz dear for hearing me rant all night sometimes.I do apperiacte it all.

I did work on a couple of resolutions for 2007.I came up with 25.Mostly its about becoming a better person and working a lot harder in school.I really do wanna graduate next year and that means workin my ass off .I planned to enjoy high skool the fullest next year cause I know am never gonna get this time back again and it's alwayz been said that these are gonna be the best years of my life.I'm gonna live dayz to fullest,love with everything I've got and have the time of my life! I know things are not gonna get any easier and there's are gonna be my fair share of trials but I'm gonna fight for what I want and continue leaning on my support system. Lovin life and enjoyin the ride!

Happy New Year With Love Everyone~

The teenage years are the best years of our lives.
Even though there's tons of drama, tears & heartbreaks,
There's also friends that you trust will never leave your side.
There's the boy who whenever you see you get butterflies in your stomach..
There's parties & breaking the rules.
Now tell me, at what other point in your life are you going to be able to have all those things at once?

It's That Time of The Year Again!

[Mood: Joyful]
[Music: Clay Aiken - Joy To The World]

It's the best time of the year and am grateful for so much this year.My christmas did start out a little bumpy but the gf said I should try my very best to have a wonderful christmas and my sis was you wait and see what happens.I did get my christmas miracle after all!

The usual family tradition during christmas eve is usually having an absolutely wonderful dinner,laugh a whole lot and eat a whole lot more.We had an extra guest this year.A long distance relative shared christmas with us this year.Dinner was the bomb and I got wonderful gifts by everyone.Got loadz of those retro dresses I wanted so much! Christmas day was spent lazing around with the family and we had open house at night.That was real fun.And out of the blue Jarrett and Daniel decided to get beer.It was a real miracle my parents didn't see it and I had a lil too much to drink.Was a lil dizzy after that and I so cleverly decided to hang on the phone after that.Talked crapped a lot and thankz darlin for puttin up with me that nite(:P)My mum came to me and asked what wasnt I hangin with everyone downstairs and I dramatized to her.LOL~! Am smart that way.She hugged me and said I shouldn't be so dramatic about life.haha.The rest of night was spent chatting with aunts and uncles.Slept at 5 in tht morning

Left to my grandparents place the next morning.Didn't do much there,just chilled and relaxed.Went to the beach the next day and came home prety late that night.The rest of the week was spent onlining,just watching tv or sleeping.Yes I've been sleeping a lot lately! On Friday decided to go watch "Night At The Museum".Went with a fren.I had a good time,the movie was really good! Came home around 6 and went for a family dinner.Decided to watched "Lord of the Rings 2".But I got bored half way through and went to hang on the phone.Had Major! drama and I had deal with everything...

It's lunch time.And am starved.I'm gonna go find something to do throughout the day.

Merry Christmas Ya'll!!!!

It's Not Until You're Broken,That You Know What You're Made Of

[Mood: Tired]
[Music: Nelly Furtado - All Good Things(Come To An End)]

Flames To Dust

Lovers To Friends

Why Do All Good Things Come To An End?

I feel so grown up today.I think I just dealed with this situation in the most mature of manner.I was afraid to lose a fren but its amazing how things have a way of falling into place.We started out with a fight but I think we just knew what was coming.I guess at times you just have to accept the fact that some things are just not meant to be.I wasn't in a bundle of tears like I usual am but I reasonable discussed what are we to do with the situation and by the end of the night we were laughing again.I think this is one of the greatest lessons I've learnt this year.This is relationship has taught me a whole lot and I don't regret any of it.If I had to do it all over, I wouldn't change it a bit.

Standing From Here

[Mood: Sick]
[Music: Nelly Furtado - Try]

Well fellow readers and spam taggers..it's been a while and dayz have been rather eventful and busy and ever so tiring and on top of all that I had to end up with the oh-so-horrible fever....*sulking*....I've finally found time for myself...

Decided to go for the Planetshakers event on Thursday and a bunch of us decided to hang there from 3 in the afternoon.The bunch was Kc,Eddy,Vitz,Sis and Marielle.We had sorta tea and A &W,messed around with this malay guy who sms-ed Vitz and he thought he was Saiful and we played along.ROFL.He asked to come out in a hurry and we were like no you go home first and then he said to wait in front of the Bomba and then we were like you go to the hospital and from then on he didnt get a reply back.hahaha.Guess he found the real guy by then.Watched Eragon.It was okies I guess but the beginning was effin borin,the ending wasnt too bad.Half way we were talkin,laughing and throwing popcorn around.Played a bit of pool and bowlin and then had dinner and Secret Recipe.Soon enough everyone's parents decided to have dinner at Pyramid.Our phones were ringin off the hook.Headed for the concert after that,had a great time and then went home around 11 somethin.Was dead tired when I got home.

Felt like an elephant was on my head that mornin.Lazyed aroud and then got ready for carollin that evening.Was feelin sorta sick and all but managed to pull myself together.Carollin was fun and all.Came home around 1 somethin.Crawled to my room and came down with a fever.I was horrible the next mornin.Feelin totally sore and havin an awful headache.Was takin all sort of pills for the rest of the day.Had a Christmas event that evening.Goodness knows how I manage to pull myself through.The event was real nice.Chatted on the phone and then slept around 12 somethin.

After church headed to One Utama.Had lunch there and then just walked around.Am really not a big fan of that place.Alwayz soo freakin packed.Had a fren at my place for the rest of the day.Went to the Mamak at nite and then watched the OTH shoot-out episode.Did tear a lil though..tht episode alwayz moves me a lotz..

It's turnin out ot be a very slow Monday and am tragically bored and still in a lot of pain.I think I'll just go catch more sleep.

I'll help you [ u p ]when life gets you (d.o.w.n)
Remember to smile & never frown.
Live life crazy with no regrets,
Never look back;
But never forget.

So What's My Damage Today

[Mood: Upset]
[Music: Ashlee Simpson - Nothing New]

Sometimes it's truly amazing how a certain song can say the exact way your feeling.I was all upset the other nite and I was browsing through Ashlee's first album and I randomly decided to give this song a listen and half way through I realized it was speaking my heart out...
I HEART MUSIC~

:Nothing New by Ashlee Simpson:

I found myself wrong again

Starin out my window

Wonderin what it is I should have said

I found myself at home again

Waitin for the after call

From a fallout that feels like such a mess

Ohhhh I can only be myself

I'm sorry that's hell for you

Heyyy so what's my damage today

Don't let me get in your way

Let it out like you always do

The trouble between me and you

Is nothing new

So I listen to you complain and then

I bite my tongue in vain again

As I let it all just slowly settle in

Such a pretty picture that you paint

I'm so vile while your a saint

Funny how your eyes see thick not thin

Ohhhh I can only be myself

Your lookin for someone else

Heyyy so what's my damage today

Don't let me get in your way

Let it out like you always do

The trouble between me and you

Is nothing new

You know how to give it but you can't take it

It's all just a waste now you can save it

No matter what I do

Is never good enough,

Never good enough

Heyyy so what's my damage today

Don't let me get in your way

Let it out like you always do

The trouble between me and you

Is nothing new,Is nothing new

Save your breath cause here comes the truth

I'm over the drama of you

And that's something new

Well I'm starin' out my window

Wonderin' what it is I should have, said

Put On The Famous Smile To Avoid The Questions

[Mood: Confuzzeled]
[Music: Fall Out Boy - I got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth]

Layer One: On The Outside
Name: Ezreena
Birthdate: 26 March 1990
Current Status: It's complicated
Eye Color: Black
Hair Color: Black
Righty or Lefty: Lefty
Zodiac Sign: Aries

Layer Two: On The Inside
Your Heritage: 3/4 Indian,1/4Chinese
Your Fears: Reptiles and bugs
Your Weakness: ummm...
Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni,cheese,chicken,more cheese

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your Thoughts First Waking Up: Skool work,dayz scheulede
Your Bedtime: Anywhere from 12-3 A.M
Your Most Missed Memory: A few..

Layer Four: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Vanilla Coke!!
McDonald's or Burger King: Mc'ds
Single or Group Dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: Nike
Tea or Nestea: Nestea
Chocolate or Vanila: Vanilla
Cappucinno or Coffee: Cappucinno

Layer Five: Do You...
Smoke: Nopez
Curse: Yea
Take a shower: Hell yeah!
Have a crush: Yupz
Think you've been in love: Yea
Go to school: Yupz
Want to get married: Yea I do
Believe in yourself: Oh yeah!
Think you're a health freak: Not really

Layer Six: In The Past Month
Drank Alcohol: I think so
Gone to the mall: Yeah
Been on Stage: Yeah,awards nite
Eaten Sushi: Nopez..dont like it
Dyed Your Hair: Nah

Layer Seven: Have You Ever...
Played A Stripping Game: Nopez
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: Nah

Layer Eight: Age Your Hoping...
To Be Married: 26/27

Layer Nine: In a Girl/GuyBest
Eye Color: I don't really mind
Best Hair Color: As long as it isnt somethin drastic
Short Hair or Long Hair: Short..guyz with long hair are sorta a turn off..

Layer Ten: What Were You Doing?
In a minute: Listenin to AFI
1 hour ago: Havin lunch
4.5 hours ago: Sleepin
1 month ago: Studyin
1 year ago: Loadz

Layer Eleven: Finish The Sentence
I Love: my family and frenz
I Feel: confuzzeled
I Hate: posers
I Hide: and you seek
I Miss: a certain someone
I Need: to sleep!!!

I got tagged by Sam...*BAH*...

"A broken heart is when you are crying yourself to sleep every night and yet crying more and more each morning."

We keep On Waiting On The World To Change

[Mood: Worried]
[Music: John Mayer - Waiting On The World To Change]

Requirements:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title to answer the questions. ( Lyrics may be inserted as well, depending on your preference.)
4. DON'T CHEAT.

1) How am I feeling today?
Fergie ft. Ludacris - Glamarous{Okies maybe am feelin a lil glam..}

2) Where will I get married?
Kangta ft Vaness - Scandal{this isnt too good}

3) What is my best friend's theme song?
Joss Stone - Right To Be Wrong{Yeah this could be one of her theme songs..."I've got a right to be wrong,my mistakes will make me strong"}

4) What was high school like?
Ashley Parker Angel - Where Did You Go?{O..kies,am still not done with high skool though..so this is irrelavant}

5) What is the best thing about me?
Jason Mraz - Geek In The Pink{"I don't care what you might think about me"..guess I don't really care what others say...}

6) How is today gonna be?
Unwritten Law - Because of You

7) What is in store this week?
MXPX - Play It Loud{Somethin punkish maybe...}

8) What song describes my parents?
Lindsay Lohan - Nobody Till You{This just doesnt make much sense}

9) How is my life going?
Ne Yo - Sexylove{"You keep me sprung..keep me running back to you"}

10) What song will they play at my funeral?
Tata Young - El Nin-Yo!{hell no!!}

11) How does the world see me?
Justin Timberlake - Sexyback{Oh yeah baby....Am BRINGING SEXYBACK!!!}

12) What do my friends see in me?
Fall Out Boy - I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth{ HuhH??}

13) Do people secretly lust about me?
Pink - Trouble{guess am in trouble...}

14) How can I make myself happy?
The Afters - Someday

15) What should I do with my life?
Jennifer Lopez - Play{omg...this is just wrong!}

16) Will I ever have children?
Faith Hill - Breathe{Okies this as a yes..lolz}

17) What is some good advice?
U2 - Beautiful Day

18) What do I think my current theme song is?
Cassie - Me&U{*sizzinlin*...hahaha}

19) What does everyone else think of my current life?
Nsync - It's Gonna Be Me{"Every lil thing I do never seems enough for you"}

20) What type of men do you like?
Usher - Yeah{I really do NOT like players!}

21) Will you get married?
Breaking Benjamin - Diary of Jane{bizzarro!!}

22) Where will I live?
Cascada - Everytime We Touch{Guess with the one I love..hehe}

23) What should I do with my love life?
J Lo - Jenny In The Block{rite...}

24) What will your dying words be?
Low Millions - Statue{sweet!}

25) When I'm having sex I say?
The Cranberries - Linger{LOL!!!}

26) When ( not what ) I meet a guy/girl for the first time I say?
Gavin Degraw - We Belong Together{They'll probably run away and never wanna see me again ..}

27) When my parents are angry I say?
Keith Urban - You'll Think Of Me{HAHAHA!!!!....hell yeah they'll think of me...}

Promises Are Pretty Lies With Ribbons Tied To Them

The hardest thing in life is to watch someone you love

love someone else. The second hardest thing in life is
to know he meant everything to you but you meant
nothing to him.The third hardest thing in life is to see
her in his arms and remember how that used to be you.

When did life get so hard?
It seems like just yesterday we were little kids,
Without a care in the world,
I don't think I like growing up.

Charlie Brown: I think I'm afraid to be happy.

Lucy: How can you be afraid to be happy?

Charlie Brown: Because whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens.

There's beauty in a breakdown

Don't catch her when she falls,

Let her c r u m b l e to the ground.

Those Teenage Dayz

[Mood: Tired]
[Music: Jojo - This Time]

Last Sunday was the Awards and Graduation and after the hectic week of much practicing and having fun.It finally came.I woke super tired cause the nite before I crashed at bout 3 in the mornin. Got ready for church and I was in total panic/stressed mode cause we were goin to the venue straight after church and I couldn't forget anything so I kept goin throught the check list in my head.Had to stay back after church for a bit and I was sleepy and hoping we wouldn't be late.Reached to the venue bout 2 and realized only a few were there and I was early so chilled and hanged with Vitz,Rachey and Michelle.Got changed and the butterflies started kicking in.The beginning dance went well and everything else followed in place.Daniel decided to juggle his drumsticks durin the praise and Kc and I were totally laughing along with Paul.It look real hilarious..guess he was nervous and goin hectic since he was handling the computer stuff as well.Then it was our dance and tht went real well..Thank God!!!..got compliments and after that did I start to relax..the drama went well 2..lost our voices durin the award givin ceremony and graduation part.After the whole thing it was just a total camwhorin session.I gotta have to get pics from everyone soon.I was worn out by the end of the day.Had dinner with the family and slept pretty early...

The next mornin it hit me that am never gonna see the graduates after this.Everyone will probably go their own way and we won't see each other for a long time.Was sorta emo the rest of the day and Daniel messaged in the mornin sayin his gonna miss skool and it soo didn't make me feel better..lolz..but I guess that's life u know..Ppl came and go and I' ve really gotta learn to deal with tht.

We had this skool outing on Wed.Bout 30 ppl came and I had a really good time.We played bowling which was super fun since we were makin so much noise and screamning and laughing. T. ben's class did win though!! So the movie was paid for.We had lunch at Subway and got a cake for Tracy.We had another camera session.Seriesly all of us totally love the camera and I bet it loves us too.LOL.Played pool as well n I really need more practice cause I sorta suck at it badly.We watched Step up..it was sooooo cool!!!!!..a total dance movie...if u love dance this is sooo for u!!!...Loved it!..had ice cream at Mc'ds after tht..hanged with Vitz and Rachey for the day.Played daytona for a bit and then lost our voices yetz again cheerin for the guyz who were playin...lolz..headed home around 6 somethin.Rushed for prayer meeting and was super worn outz after that.It wasn't too bad..I did have fun there as well..lolz...came home around 10 somethin...

So far my week has been rather intersting but after all this it's gonna be sorta slow for a few weeks with skool work and lotz of stayin at home.Really gotta get my study momentum back cause it's really gone..am gonna go look for it darlin's!

BEST FRENZ!
It's a promise. not a label

The sky glows and I see it shining with my eyes close

[Mood: Wanderin]
[Music: The Killers - Mr. Brightside]

Running away from the a problem isn't alwayz the smartest thing to do nor is it a very mature thing to do.Guess thats wht I've been doin,acting like it's all ok when its not.I guess the truth caught up anywayz and I realized how much my frenz love me today.The didn't confront me with it just so I won't be hurt by it all but I guess we all knew it deep down.Btw I had no idea Vitz was so good at physcology,I just discovered that today...

I gave excuses again and again and tried that again today.It was a stupid thing to do but at the end of the day all I wanted to do is cry.I couldn't answer any question with a full stand assurance.I kept zoning off or avoiding it.So much for a year's effort, months have gone and after all that's said and done..I can't fuckin answer the simpliest of questions.

Told Esther today I'll have to make a change by the end of this year.It's really time to grow up and make a mature decison bout this instead of acting like it's okies when its absolutely not.No more playin pretend for am really too old for it anywayz.I gave myself by the end of this months and that's it.I really don't wanna take this years drama into the next..

Realized also that a few of my frenz are graduatin high skool this year.I've never been good at sayin goodbye and I really hope I don't break down this Sunday,that would be super embrassing.But this is what's life bout I guess..growing up and letting go...I really don't wanna grow up...

"Life is full of different things, its full of,hope and sorrow.
The things you choose to do today,could affect your life tomorrow.
Life is full of decisions.
So be careful what you choose.
Cause life is yours to cherish.
But it’s also yours to lose."

Signed Sincerely Me

[Mood: Tired]
[Music: Hellogoodbye - Dear Jamie....Sincerely Me]

It's been kinda crazy for the last few weeks.Preparations for awards nite, practices that are loadz of fun,hangin out at the mall and skool work in between it all.I've been in skool everyday this week.No one seems to be studyin cept the brillant,the rest of us are either camwhorin, playin some lame game or havin conversations with peverted topics.The highlight of my week was goin out with Rachey,Nicky and Wesley on Tuesday.We played pool,hanged out for a bit,window shopped and chilled.It was fun and a big shout out to Nicky for following that day since he was suppose to go gym-ing .I owe u dear!

So I have 11 more books to go for this year and my hardworkin momentum that was with me the last few weeks is fading but I really gotta finish it all in bout 2 weeks time if I want to go out..so yeah..quoting mum..."Unless you wanna stay home while we go out for Christmas,you better study"...I've been hearin this everyday day this week on the car trip to and from skool.*sheesh*...so far the slow dance seems good and am not in the drama anymore so that's all good.No more intense practices,its more laid back.

Besides all that it's been good lately.Not too much drama and I've been in a good mood too.I'm feelin really grateful lately for havin so much and I think am gonna take to time to appericate it all and make every moment are memory.

"You know you had a good time when you can't tell your mom what you did."
~XoXoXo~

We might as well be strangers

[Mood: Artsy]
[Music: Ashley Parker Angel - Let U Go]

"At this moment, there are 6 billion, 4 hundred, 71 million, 8 hundred, 18 thousand, 6 hundred, 71 people in the world.
Some are running scared..
Some are coming home.
Some tell lies to make it through the day..
Others are just now facing the truth.
Some are evil men at war with good,
Some are good.. struggling with evil.
6 billion people in the world,
6 billion souls,
And sometimes.. all you need is 1."
-Peyton-{OTH}

"There seems to be a kind of order in the universe…in the movement of the stars and the turning of the Earth and the changing of the seasons. But human life is almost pure chaos. Everyone takes his stance, asserts his own right and feelings, mistaking the motives of others, and his own."
-Katherine Ann Porter-

"Most of our life is a series of images.
They pass us by like towns on the highway.
But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens.
And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image.
We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever.'"
-Lucas-{OTH}

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

[Mood: Day-dreamin]
[Music: Mario Vazquez - Gallery]

Life is really simply.
We just insist on making it___>>Complicated.

Summarizing the 1st of week of November I gotta say I can't believe we're left with the last two months of the year.The last two months of being 16.Seriesly I don't wanna move on to 17.I like being 16.It's that age where you're right in the middle and you feel all young and ready for a new adventure.I like high school and I know college maybe fun and all but even with the drama and crazyness I love it.High skool memories will alwayz be the best.I was listening to Bowling For Soup's new single called High Skool Never Ends the other day.That song really makes sense,thinkin bout it, high skool drama will alwayz be out there.The girl-fights,break-ups,back-stabbings and life changing relationships.I really wanna enjoy my skool dayz to the fullest currently and not worry to much about sayin goodbye and lose out on the time I have with me.

Seems like the end of the year stresses have been catching me up.I've gotta get ready for christmas at church which means ample practice time is needed.The drama needs work and I have no idea what's really goin on there.Then there's the skool work that needs to be dealt with.Yes people am starting to feel the pressur,the lack of time and a desperate need for a organized scheulede.

Friday at skool was very quiet.Maybe cause Vitz wasn't there and neither was Nicki.So it was just me and Kc entertaining ourselves.As lesbian as that sounds,it's true.The good news at skool this week must be the change in the cafetria.The food has definately improved and we are all very grateful.After skool,I was meeting someone at Summit and since there was no transport.My sis,Son,Me and Shaun who decided to be our bodyguard walked there.It was really nice of him to tag along.I felt so accomplished after that.Had tea and then watched "The Covenant".Wasn't too bad I would give it 3 out of 5.Gotta give props for the speacial effects though.Played daytona after that and I won.It was really sweet of you to let me win dear.I so know you did. I had really great time hanging out with you darlin'!Went to starbucks and got my regular caramel frappucino but was totally disturbed by the fact tht the guy asked me if I was just done with work and when I said no he tried college and when I respoded no again,he just gave this totally blur look and I finally said skool and went off complainin to the others how mean the guy workin there was.Hanged in Sonya's place for a bit while I waited for dad.Went home and hanged on the phone with Kc,givin her the 411 on my dayz events.Was very worn out that day that I slept before 12.

Saturday was spent in total day dreaming mode.I couldn't concentrate on much and I had to start workin on the Christmas song list for church.I really gotta start praticing...really.Watched the "Perfect Man" that nite and was rather emo after that...

This next 3 weeks is gonna be crazy with skool work,practices and gettin ready for the end of another year.I'll go start with skool work darlin's.

Photographic Memories Are For Forever

[Mood: Sleepy]
[Music: Jojo- Coming For You]

Here are some of the pics we took durin the drama rehersal last Friday:

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

Your Taste in Music:

Adult Alternative: Highest Influence90's Hip Hop: Medium Influence90's Rock: Medium InfluenceCountry: Medium InfluenceR&B: Medium Influence

How's" Your Taste in Music?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Love Song Is

Yellow by Coldplay "Look at the stars, Look how they shine for you, And everything you do, Yeah they were all yellow" You're so in love, it's like a drug.

What Love Song Are You?

These Dayz Are What They Call Livin Momentz To The Fullest Darlin'

[Mood: Excited]
[Music: Fergie - Fergalicious]

One of the best parts of livin in Malaysia is the abundant amount of holz for the festive season.The weekend seemed super long and I did have a good time.Had a couple of relatives over for the fun of it, mum cooked loadz and I eat a lot as well.Oh and not forgettin being glued to the tv.I just haven't been watchin tv much lately cause am happy with my downloads of LB and OTH but I decided to just catch on some movies and all.On Tuesday,my family decided to do the drive around with no specific location tradition.We do that on public holz usually.I wanted to go back to Ipoh again but dad decided it would too long of a drive.So decided to go to Morib.The beach was nice and they have good seafood there.It wasn't too bad.Besides all that it was just me and my skool work and not forgettin checkin out the cuties in LOTR.(:P)

Went to skool on Thursday.I've switched to books for Math and was overwhelmed with joy to touch a book again and to put my pencil to use again.Yes I know it sounds corny but seriesly I was sooo happy to have it back.The rest of day was very casual and I have a new luchin group.Its Eddy,Vitz,Rachey,Shaun,occisonaly Christine and the gf.They're just loadz of fun to hang with cause our conversations are a mix of crappness,sacrasm and a whole bunch of emal-ness(Nicki's way of sayin lame),super cool huh.lolz.Newayz Friday we had drama practice and I did nada skool work.Practice was cool cause all we did was laugh loadz and camwhore.Will uploadz the pics as soon as I get it from Daniel.Chapel was total crazyness.I may reconsider sittin in between Kc and Vitz the next time and opposite Pete as well cause he kept sendin sign language signals yht he loves Vitz and it was just freakin disturbin.Damn we have like to many gay couples in skool..*BAH*

It's a beautiful Saturday mornin and am up super early.I crashed at 3 last nite after my usual phone conversation but woke up around 9.I've got skool work to attend to currently.And also I've gtg to church tonite...tht may be excitin(:P)
~Loadz of Love~

And Doesn't It Make You Shiver; The Way Things Could Have Gone

[Mood: Worried]
[Music: Tresspassers William - Matching Weight]

I am thinking about: how my day is gonna go by and the thingz I have to do.Hopin a certain someone is fine.How am gonna get my hp from my mum's room.(she said I should start studyin more and hang on it a whole lot less)And tht the gf calls...we haven't talked in a while...it would be nice to have a recap bout the last few weeks.

I said: "I love you soo much" to someone today and meant every word.

I wish:for a pair of Converse and a good relationship,that all my dreams and wishes will come true,tht my frenz and family will alwayz be close by;protected and happy.And many more wondeful memories for the dayz to come.(I was thinkin of sayin world peace but we all know thts pretty much impossible and I rather be a lil realistic here.)

I hear:Tyler Hilton singing "Missing You" and myself singin along.

I wonder: if my ambitions and dreams are gonna be the same 10 yrs from now and if I'll still be close with all my frenz currently and how everyone will look like and what they'll be doin a couple of years from now.

I regret: A couple of thingz I guess.Sayin thingz I don't mean or talkin to much or hurtin someone.Guess everyone has some sorta regrets here and there and but I try my very best not to have many.There is really no point in regrets.All they do is just bring you down and "I wish I had" is a just a waste of time and strength.There was this "OTH" episode where one of this characters grandfather has alzeimer's disease and his fren says that it's good he doesn't remember much cause then he doesn't have to live with his regrets but then he says "Give me regrets as long as I get to keep the good memories as well".Thinkin bout it,its so true.When I look back at my life one day,I want there to be more good memories than regrets.That will definately drown the regrets!

I am: tryin to live dayz to the fullest.

I dance:A LOT!

I sing:along to all Ashlee Simpson songz.

I cry: a bit too much lately.

I am not always:quiet.It is very rare than you find me quietly sittin in a corner.You'll alwayz find me laughing and being noisy with a frenz.

I make with my hands: Apple muffins!(it's sorta my speaciality)Oh and no forgettin apple pies,pizza and chocalate cake.I do enjoy baking,it helps clear my head once in a while.

I write: a lotz of poem stuff about everything that goes on in my life.I usually throw all my emotions out on a piece of paper.Give me a radio,couple of cd's,a pen and a notebook.I'll be happy...

"IDA Scott Taylor wrote: 'Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.'"

P.S: Happy 18th Birthday Jay!!! Hope you have a great one!

Don't know why I feel so shattered; I really should have known better

[Mood: Hardworkin]

[Music: Evanescene - Lithium]

Vitz: I love ur life.

Me: Why?

Vitz: Cause it's a personal tv show

Me: Seriesly you don't wanna be in my place and I really need to fix thingz.The last thing I need now is Drama!

Vitz: Dude you already have drama!!

My week did contain lotz of drama.Hate it when his right!Newayz by the end of the week everything fell into place and it's been goin steady,not sure when I have to deal with everythin though cause am sorta proscratinating and pushin all of it off till the time comes to make decisions.And I guess am sorta gettin lazy 2 blog as well or I just haven't much to say.It could be either one.

Went to skool 3 times this week cause I didn't go last Friday and I sorta self-replaced.Everyone said they were pleased to see me more often which was pretty sweet of u guyz.I'm really hatin Math btw.I've been tacklin it all week and I come home lookin drained and mum thinks I have some social prob at skool.*sheesh*I told her the Algebra is makin me look this way.Everyone seems to be gettin busy for Awards nite and the gf asked if I would like to be in the play,I said okies,how bad can it be anywayz.Later found out it was gonna be a dramatic scene.Never been in a play before but dramatic scene won't be too bad I suppose,it's stage fright I worrin bout.And also that dance is botherin me quite a bit.Slow dance doesn't seem to be my thing but I definately can't bail now.BAH. T.Ben said the gf and I should stop sendin love notes to each other but we can't help it.Sendin notes are alwayz so fun.It helps pass time.Nowdayz there are less notes but she sends me "I heart u" sweets.It has loadz of caffain nad much more love.Keeps me goin.

Soon enough it's gonna be the end of another year.Talked bout New Year Resolutions with a fren the other day.They usually don't last too long and therefore we don't bother creatin one.I tried but failin to keep some just gets me disappointed so I decided to just have a main idea of what I wanna do for the year and just concentrate on walkin down tht path.This year I managed to accomplish partially what I wanted to do and there's 2 and half months left.Guess I gotta make the best out of it.

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past,
Stop planning the future,
Stop figuring out exactly how we feel,
Stop deciding what we want && just see what happens.

Cause Life's Like This

[Mood: Bored]
[Music: Avril Lavigne - Complicated]

So I randomly picked this survey from someone's blog.Seemed intersting..thought I'll just give it a shot.It's the Top 50 songs of my life...I don't think I can even keep in to 50 but what the heck..here goes:

1. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
2. Bethany Joy Lenz - Halo
3. Fall Out Boy - A little less sixteen candles, a little more touch
4. Ashlee Simpson - Beautifully Broken
5. Jojo - Too Little Too Late
5.Evanescene - Call Me When You're Sober
6. The Fray - How To Save A Life
7. Hilary Duff - So Yesterday
8. Jack's Mannequin - The Mixed Tape
9. John Mayer - Bigger Than My Body
10. Kelly Clarkson - Since You Been Gone
11. Fall Out Boy - Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner
12. Jack's Mannequin - Dark Blue
13. Fall Out Boy - Chicago Is So 2 years Ago
14. Jem - Just A Ride
15. The Killers - When You Were Young
16. Lifehouse - Hanging By A Moment
17. Liz Phair - Why Can't I?
18. Lost Prophets - Rooftops
19. Marion Raven - End of Me
20. Matchbox Twenty - Unwell
21. Lost Prophets - Broken Hearts,Torn Up Letters and A Story of a Lonely Girl
22. Marion Raven - Break You
23. Morningwood - Nth Degree
24. Feeder - Feelin A Moment
25. The Fray - Over My Head(Cable car)
26. Goo goo dolls - Iris
27. Gavin DeGraw - I Don't Wanna Be
28. Good Charlotte - The World Is Black
29. Backstreet Boys - Siberia
30. Sum 41 - Pieces
31. Sugarcult - Memory
32. Ashley Parker Angel - Let Me Go
33. Sugarcult - Pretty Girl(The way)
34. Good Charlotte - Predictable
35. Goo goo Dolls - Better Dayz
36. Nickleback - Photograph
37. Nelly Furtado - Try
38. Ben Moody ft. Anastacia - Everything Burns
39. Pink - Who Knew
40. Nelly Furtado ft. Juanes - Te Besque
41. Rascal Flatts - God Bless The Broken Road
42. Christina Aguilera - Fighter
43. Simple Plan - Perfect
44. Story of The Year - Sidwalks
45. Simple Plan - Shut Up!
46. Teddy Geiger - For You I Will (Confidence)
47. The Veronicas - Everything I'm Not
48. Ashlee Simpson - L.O.V.E
49. Ashlee Simpson - Love Makes The World Go Round
50. Avril Lavigne - Losing Grip

This bunch of tunes mean a whole lot to me.The lyrics can totally tell a story.It would go great with my autobiography.
~L.O.V.E~

Comfortin HugzZz and Naughty Eyes

[Mood: Tired]
[Music: Goo goo dolls - Iris]

The past week has been one hell of a roller coaster ride and I've been dealin with a lil at a time.Tryin not to stress on details too much and not worryin too much.I've been dealin with a lot of emotional stuff but am grateful for all those that's been helpin me pull through it all.....

Monday to Thursday was very usual.Haven't been studyin much and have been sleepin a lotz.My sleepin scheulede is just all messed up and I've been findin it very diffult to fall asleep at nite these dayz and am super tired in the mornings.So am currently a total nite person who snoozes durin the daylight.So not good! Gotta fix that soon or else am gonna be in loadz of trouble....Skool was borin on Wednesday.Everyone was totally just stonin and all.Thingz just was very slow.

Friday seemed to be turned up a notch and I had deal with a lil drama.Actually quite a large amount of drama.The mornin seemed good and then the gf decided to use my lappie to chat with a certain someone which wasn't too good of an idea.Chapel was really good.T.Ben Lee spoke and everyone just started cryin and yes even me.It was just really good to feel God's Presence there.Went home and helped my mum prepare for dinner guests.Then slept for like a tiny bit.Had prayer meeting and the guests went home rather early.Chilled outz and then I had to deal with the damage of the online conversation the tht gf had.Thank goodness the person was gracious and to make thingz worse I decided on a hasty decision bout somethin and he was just totally sweet bout tht as well.In the end everythin turned out pretty smoothly.You know who you are.Thankz for being so gracious and such a darlin! The other drama I had to deal with was a missin pet sis.That was just sooo bad!Nearly half the skool was in frantic search and I was just pissed with the guy responsible.Like really pissed!We finally did locate her but ever if I do see her after this...she's bound to get it....

I was excited bout Saturday cause I was gonna go out with a few frenz.Woke up and thought I was gonna be freakin late but turned I was one of the few early ones.Checked out Vitz Ipod which is super cute!!Decided to go play pool with Pete,my sis,Vitz and Marielle.I haven't played in the longish of time and sorta really sucked.But the company was definately fun.Had breakfast at Mc'ds then.Went to watch the others play pool.Met the guy I was totally pissed with and we chatted and all but I was still angry and comfortin huggiez alwayz do good.Thankz Vitz!!! Marielle and I were waitin for frenz who were late.We waited for a bit and they both arrived nearly the same time.Had lunch with the fren at Secret Recipe...had brownies with ice-cream..total yum!..then played more pool,I got a whole lot better thankz to his help and now am not too bad I think..lolz...we hanged out for a bit and then headed home around 7.Went to my aunt's place and I was so dead.Got Red Bull and leaned on any wall available.Reached home around 9 somethin,practiced the organ for church,chatted on the phone and slept around 12 somthin.A really good day..it was totally nice to hang with the homies and just have a good time!

Sunday was smooth.It was Thanksgivin Sunday and we had the usual auction and now we have unusual amounts of cakes at home.Slept more and watched a movie at nite.Waited for OTH on 8tv,they've just started shownin season 3 but they showed Eve instead!!!! Seriesly they need to check their scheulede and not put the wrong thing on the papers.

Though the week was long.I had loadz of fun durin the weekend.More lesson learned.One of it is that I should alwayz seriesly think before makin hasty decisions.I seem to do that quite a bit.It messin up problems too much.So from now,more thinkin before approachs.The week ahead should also consist of more studyin.I gotta finish everything by November.So its more hardwork after this if I want a Christmas break..

P.S: I still haven't downloaded Season 4 of OTH..*snifflez*

Holdin On For Dear Life

[Mood: Hurt]
[Music: Evanescenes - My Immortal(Band Version)]

I want to appreciate the times when moments are made into memories. I want to embrace them, cherish them, & never forget that they come so few & far between. I know that wherever life takes me, these moments will always follow. They remind me of what's truly important. It's not just life, but living. It's the journey, the destination, & all the points in between. & I must admit, I like what I see.

Boys will break your heart,
Friends will betray you,
Parents will seem too strict,
And life might annoy you,
But you should always remember
That there's a purpose for these things to happen to us.
So keep your head up & your spirits high..
Because if you don't..Life will just pass you by.

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Who knew that things could be like this?
I never wanted things to be this way.

Neither of us can see

[Mood: Emo-ish]
[Music:Incubus - Neither of Us Can See]

The week has been long and emo-ish.Pullin through and tryin to make the most of it.Lessons learned,did somethin unexpected(:P),hanged on the phone from 1 till nearly 3 in the mornin...alwayz wanted to do that! and trust me its great fun specially if that person is someone very dear 2 ya,daydreamt throughout the week.Thought too much ahead on the future,crapped a lot,missed a fren or two,cried for a few nites and laughed a lot.
I love being a teenager but the emo part has been gettin to me this week.....

Believing in learnin through experience so strongly...I'm a rather stuborn person I would say.Being told again and again but refusin to hear.Confused lately but the truth can be heard but the here's the truth about the truth.It hurts so we lie.A part of me doesn't wanna move on and a part of me knows that if I don't,it'll be really stupid of me.Left with so many memories and scars.Wantin to scream out loud but not heard,wantin to be held but distance gets in the middle..all I have left is the window panel I started with...

I think am just gonna lay back and not stress on it too much for a while.Just waste time and have loadz of fun.Maybe I just stressed on it a bit whee to much and I guess it's time to chill outz with the homies and concentrate on livin dayz with no regrets.

Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn

[Mood: Content]
[Music: Blink 182 - Down]

"Learnin a lil more each day with a touch of love and care"

This phrase is so true.Livin every day to its fullest,savorin every moment and learnin somethin tht you'll kept with you for the rest of the life.I learned somethin valuable 2day and that is to never give up.Frenz are one the best support systems you can have and I really value mine.I lean on them so much and can alwayz depend on them.I love you guyz sooo much!!!!!

I haven't update for a while but there has been much goin cept the usual dose of drama that keeps me goin.Skool's been fine and dance practices have started for the Awards Nite so I'll be complainin bout how sore I am very soon(:p)......Last week was filled with seminars..actually not tht much but two and that was a lot for me....but it was fun to hang with the gang and we camwhored after tht at the carpark...so tht pretty nice...

Besides all that dayz have been goin and am tryin my best to enjoy all of it.Though the last few dayz have been hard on me and it's been a while since I've visited my window panel...so decided to give it a lil visit on Tuesday nite and was listenin to Backstreet boyz...which turned out to be such a bad idea.....I've been feelin guilty and upset bout some stuff and it's been killin me badly...I didn't do it on purpose or anythin and if I could I would have gone...but I was in a circumstance where I couldnt.....to me it seems like am showin that I don't care but I do..I care soo much and really wish I could be there for you,to look after you...I really would....

Well that's it for nowz...am gonna go tackle English darlin'!

Dream as you'll live forever,Live as you'll die today

P.S: Thankz for all your comments about my gettin a tattoo and piercing.It was really intersting to read speacially Esther's...lolz...I knew you would wanna strangle me if I told ya(:P)

Tryin to find Sanity in Insanity

[Mood: Diligent]

[Music: Nsync - It's Gonna Be Me]

The weekend has been good.And I can't complain much,the occasion intersting stuff has been happening and I've been feelin contented in a way.

Friday at skool was fun.The gang for the day was Nick,Abel,Adrien and of course the gf.We were talkin bout tattoes and piercings.Am thinkin of gettin my tougue pierced..lolz..and yes am series..still considerin actually..they were sayin it hurtz like hell so am not really sure dearies.Newayz the rest of the day was as usual as it can be.After skool, was hangin around the futsal area when this guy who kept starin apporoched and said I seemed rather familiar and actually he did to.Maybe he must have seen me around or somethin...We chatted for a bit and then I headed home.Had prayer meeting at nit3zz and crashed around 1 somethin..

Family decided to go visit my grandparents outstation on Saturday and I decided to be good and stay home and study.Yes I know those of you readin are goin "Yea rite"...lolz...but I did do some work,hang on the phone with Kc for an hour and onlined for the rest of the day.The day was pretty borin but I managed...

Sunday was a drag and sleepin at 2 in the mornin the nite before did not help.Had lunch and slept for 3 hrs more.Watched tv for a bit and did absolute notta.My sundayz really needs a new scheudle....BAH~

Will be goin to skool on Wednesdayz from this week onwards..thts so fuckin good!...and also theres so conference thingi this weekend...not excited bout tht but the part where I got to spend time with the homies..I miss them...*snifflez*....yes I know am bein weird...DUH! its fuckin to early in the mornin...Btw tragedy struck again..Micheal Scheumacher is retirin...September seems to be effin sad...

LOVEZ

There's nothing Good about Goodbye

[Mood: Tired]

[Music: Nick Lachey - What's Left of Me]

Its like I fell for you from the top of the highest mountain &

You caught me just before I hit the ground,

Then you took me back up to the top &the view was amazing,

But you just pushed me over the edge with No one to catch me.

You wanna know what living life to the fullest actually is? Its waking up on a monday morning with no complaints. Its knowing you always deserve to laugh. Its doing what feels right no matter what. Its doing what you want to, no matter how stupid you look. Its about being yourself, cause no one can tell you you're doing it wrong

LIFE;

It's just one big game.

Its ups & downs,

Rights from wrongs,

True from fake.

It's just one big game,of love & hate.

Climb out on this rooftop.

Stare at the city lights below us.

The world belongs to us tonight.

P.S: Condelence to the family and friends of Steve Irwin.One of the greatest enviromentalist of his time.

Randomness

[Mood: Sleepy]
[Music: J.Lo - Jenny From The Block]

It's been a long week and its gonna be that wayy for a couple of weeks more.I've got loadz of skool work and am slightly procrastinating.Which is effin not good! Heres a few highlights of the week:
-Spent an hour plus on the phone.That was definately fun!
-Watched "Monster House" which wasn't too bad for an animation.Not the greatest but didn't suck big time.
-Was totally bored and watched "Jersey Gurl" on Cd.Sweet story.Probably the 3rd time watchin it.
-Had lunch at Chilli's on Sunday.Tacos make me happy! Really....

That's bout it...*BAH*

Here's a long survey:
Name Ezreena
Nick Name(s) Reena,Ren
Birthday 26/3/90
Height Not sure
Hair Color Black
Hair Length Longer than shoulder
Eye Color Black
Birth Place K.L
Current Location K.L
Zodiac Sign Aries
Clothing Style Dependin on my mood
Do you wear make up? Yeah,eyeliner and lipgloss!
Does anybody you know think you're emo? Not really
Do you have any tattoos? No
Do you want any tattoos? If so, where? Maybe a butterfly on my ankle or L.O.V.E on my wrist
Do you wear hats? Sometimes
Do you drink? Nope
Do you swear? Yeah
Do you smoke? Nada
Have you ever done drugs? Nope
Have you ever drank? Does wine count?
Have you ever been drunk? Nope
Have you ever barfed from drinking too much? No
Would you ever try a cigarette? Not sure
Have you ever tried a cigarette? Maybe(:P)
What day is it? Monday
What's your favorite day of the week? Friday and Saturday
Are you single/taken? Single
Do you like anybody? If so, who? Perhaps(:P)
Do you want to get married? Yea
Do you want to have kids? Yup
Do you have a job? If so, what? Nope
Do you have any pets? Nah
How many computers are in your house right now? One
Are you on a lap top right now? Yea
Are there any laptops in your house right now? Yup
When's the last time you were asked out? A few dayz back
When's the last time you realized/thought for sure somebody likes you? umm...
Do you enjoy single or group dates more? Single
Do you like Starbucks? Yup,Love it!
Do you consider yourself High-Maitenence? Sorta off
Have you ever been called a slut? Nope
Have you ever been beaten up? No

Back To The Random/Sweetness...

Do you like going to the beach? Love it!!!!!
Have you been out of country? Yup
If so, how many times? Bout four
How many states have you been too? Quite a few
How many times have you moved? Never
Do you watch MTV? Yup
Who knows you better;; your friends or your family? Both

Friends

Who's your "best friend"? Actually I have best frenZzZ
Who do you talk to most on the phone? Kc
Who have you known longest? Don't really remember
Who do you miss most, if any? Jason
Who's the friendliest? Christine
Who knows you best? My homies!
Who can make you smile no matter what? Kc,Vitz,Esther and Christine
Who do you get in the most fights with? No one
Who do you get along best with? All of them
Who has the nicest house? Not sure,they all have nice houses..lolz

"The Last"

who IMed you? Jay
Thing you ate? Gum
Thing you drank? Apple Juice
Clothing Item you bought? A pair of sandals
Coffee Drink you've had? Coffee
Would You rather eat a snickers or hersheys bar? Hershey!!
What was the last movie you watched? Jersey Girl
What are you listening to? J Lo- Jenny From The Block
Do you have Cable for your TV? Yupz
Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really
Who do you think is thinking about you right now? Not sure
What color is your room? Purple Pinkish
Why did you take this survey? Fuckin boredom

An open heart is suicide in my philosphy

[Mood: Emo]

[Music: Evanescence - Going Under]

Stuck at this very moment,

Something does not feel right,

I've never really took time,

To listen to my heart,

Let it have a say in all this,

And as I sit quietly,

Trying to hear,

In the silence,

Am hoping for the truth,

Even its something I don't wanna know,

Cause sometimes the truth,

Is the last thing thing you want to hear.

Take it back, take it all back now

The things I gave, like the taste of my kiss on your lips,

I miss that now

I can't try any harder than I do

All the reasons I gave,

Excuses I made for you
I'm broken in two.

Without pain,

There would be no suffering.

Without suffering, we would never learn from our mistakes.

To make it right - pain && suffering is the key to all windows,

Without it there is no way of life.

Yes I do know how it feels,

To sit on the edge of your bed,

Listening to a sad song and wishing,

It would all just end.

Toughest parts in life is deciding

When to give up or just try harder.

Photograph momentz!

[Mood: Happy/Sick]

[Music: Snow Patrol - Run]

It's been a while since the last update but thingz have rather uneventful dearies and I've been drowning in skool work is still is actually...Newayz...

Friday I headed to skool after 2 weeks of not being there and notta much has changed,not many ppl attended cause it was the last day and all.Also everyone was studyin even on the last day but we had more privilages to talk and all.Kinda laid back.Had lunch with Kc,Vitz,Shaun and Samuel,tht was fun.We kept crappin a lot as usual,shufflin through bizzare topics..lolz....The teachers took turns at chapel and talked bout the semester.That was bout it.Headed home around 3 somethin and had to get ready for the gatherin thing.

Went to Denise's place rather early like an hour plus but the organizing community was there and I helped out a lil here and there and it's a pity cause us gurlz were unsure on how to fry fries(:P) and the coach who teaches football at skool helped out.The guyz were doin the bbq and then more ppl arrived.Vitz and a few others...hanged with them a while and then ppl started gettin thrown into the pool soon enough.Everyone was screamning and holdin onto the doors..lolz...it was definately a hilarious sight...I was thinkin twice bout goin in and all but if I didn't I was gonna get thrown in with my jeans and all...hanged a lil with Michelle,Esther,Christine and Rachel...and then changed and got thrown in along with Michelle...I don't really remember by whom though...but whenever anyone got out,you were bound to see them back in again..lolz....this turned out to be a more pool party thing then a gatherin actually..haha...had dinner and watched a lil of "Benchwarmers"..seemed reallllly dumb and all...then had some games and talent time..Belinda's dance team won..hanged around for a lil with Vitz and Michelle....said our goodbyes and then headed home.I was freakin tired and all..slept around 3 somethin after a lil bit of onlining.Had a fuckin great time!

Went down to my grandparents place the next morning and was totally worn.Slept and was bored pretty much the whole day and was hooked on this book I was reading.It was from the Redemption series...borrowed it from the gf..it was really intersting and all...came home bout 10 somethin and put the neighrbours to sleep with my organ playing...*BAH*...

Sunday was very very slow.Didn't go nowhere after church and came home and slept somemore.Onlined a lil and filled the gf bout the events on Friday since she couldn't make it and all.Had dinner and read till bout 3 in the morning.

It's been ok lately and am glad I had great weekend.Wonderful time with my frenz..gosh I love you guyz soooo much!!!......Bet you know tht....(:P)

I'm down with the cold and am aching...fuck...goin to go get some sleep...loadz of sleep...*worning outz*

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry;

Show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile

~Hugz~

Te Busque(I looked for you)

[Mood: Tired]
[Music: Nelly Furtado ft. Juanes - Te Busque]

Dayz are going by,
So fast that I can't seem to hold onto much,
Being forced to grow up,
That I can't seem to have time to sit down and breath in moments,
Havin to make decisions and letting go,
Never really thought that I would have to come to this very day,
But I gotta catch up with these times,
Holdin dear to the people I love,
And lettin go of the ones that seem to have no hope,
I guess this is what it feels like to GROW UP,
It really is no FUN.

Isn't it ironic?
When we're young - we can't wait to be old,
Now that we're old - we wish we could be young again.

Your not the person who you used to be,
The one I want who wanted me.
And that's a shame but,
There's only so many tears that you can cry,
Before it drains the light right from your eyes.
And I can't go on that way.
So I'm letting go of everything we were.
But It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

On the phone a year later, he asked her if she missed him.Her reply was "I don't miss you, I miss the guy who talked to me every second he could, who sat home on Saturday nights when we couldn't be together thinking of me....The guy who was my shoulder to lean after a bad day, The guy who told me he'll alwayz love me, That's the guy I miss. How could I miss you? I don't even know you."

~XoXo~

As I look up to the sky

[Mood: Hopeful]

[Music: Angels and Airwaves - Valkyrie Missile]

There's the part of you that wants to be loved,
And then you are afraid of love,
It's the fear of hurting that keeps a person away from happiness,
It's the fear of heart brokenness,
And so we build high walls,
While others decide to run way,
Some decide to bury,
And then there are those that go after that love,
And take chances cause it seemed worth all that pain,
It's all bout the risk in life,
And the will to walk over the boundaries,
Or out that door,
Cause it takes bravery to step out into this world everyday,
And telling someone you care for them,
Or that you love them,
Never knowin when death may come along your way

Maybe seconds or hours away,
Do we need a tragedy to notice how brave we are,
Cause everyone is fighting their own battle,

We just don't know every single of it.

Things change + people change,

That doesn't mean to forget the past or try to cover it up,

It simply means,

Move On & Treasure all those Memories.

We live

We love

We forgive

And never give up

Cuz the days we are given are gifts from above,

And today we remember to Live and to Love.

P.S: 200th Post!!!

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

[Mood:Emo]

[Music: Sugarcult - Pretty Girl(The Way)]

Brooke: That suxs.....Sorry

Rachel: Why? I mean you and me.....Why are you sorry?

Brooke: Because I know what it feels like.....to have your heartbroken and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Rachel: Not even your worse enemy....

Brooke: Not even her.

That was from "One Tree Hill".I was watchin it the other day and that set of lines really made me think.I feel that's sorta true in a way.If you've had your heart broken,you really wouldn't want to wish it on others.Gettin your heartbroken is no joy ride.But we all carry hope around and have faith that time will heal....we'll alwayz carry that scar around and maybe occasionaly it will hurt.But I wanna sit down one day and not regret my past.I wanna look back at those memories and smile.I wanna say to myself that I had the time of my life and it just didn't work out.It was just another teenage tragedy.

Through this process of healing,you find that friends is what gives you strength to move on.Even when you feel like giving up and sometimes when they know you're gonna make another mistake.They tell in the softest of wayz and let you learn slowly in your own way,always by your side.

Mostly you gotta carry that flame,that ray of hope even when you really can't hold on any longer.Cause that's whats gonna make us stronger and help us make wiser decisions in the dayz to come.

This is a really touching song by Across Five Aprils:

Complete and total adoration,

My gift to you, my heart was yours,

In ten weeks you shaped it,

In one night you murdered it.

Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,

That first step that you took was the worst.

Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark,

And I still have these memories,

But we'll never see what we could have been.

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

Remember, cause that's all you can do.

We'll never make another memory,

We'll never make another memory.

I wish I would have died in your arms the last time we were together,

So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.

This time I thought things were real,

You said they were,

What happened?

You were a priority,

Was I an option?

I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.

Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.

Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,

I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough.

So, we'll go our own ways,

And hopefully you'll remember these things I've told you,

Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity.

A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,

But I guess I've learned from it.

But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?

I don't consider this a mistake,

I just wish the story didn't end this way,

Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.

Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

On a much lower note

[Mood:Cheery]
[Music:Panic! At The Disco - Time To Dance]

I guess the balance is what keeps us going.This week ended with a much lower note.Actually in a way too low note.It got caught up with memories,judges judging and just too much more.

On Thursday was my counsin's birthday so headed to the mall.Had Mcds for tea,my usual round of ice cream and fries.Brought back a few memories cause when we went out,that was wht we usual had.So I totally zoned out after that and since my sis was sittin opposite me she was like am not him okies..so don't do anything weird....*bah*.... but as usual shoppin makes me cheerful so I got myself a new pair of shoes from Carlo Rino.Their super cute!!Spent the rest of the dayz at my aunts.

Friday was very casual.With a few of the usual ppl missin.Chapel was done by Aunty Judith this week.Spent the day with Shaun and hothot well thts Adrien's nick.His alwayz known as LC aka Leng Chai.That's what everyone said when they heard a 19yr old was comin to skool.Even the guyz were excited..lolz...yeah I know ever so gay.And I got an intersting compliment as well...I heard him tell the gurlfren that am so "cartoon" whatever that means but thats the 1st time anyone said that bout me but its cool(:P)Came and home and it was fuckin dramatic and from then on till the rest of the weekend..Fuck seemed to be my fav word.Had dinner with the family at nite and it wasnt exactly fun.Watched some screwed up movie after that.."The Long Weekend"..it was lame but sorta funny in a way....

Saturday was an utter bore.Rotted at home.Watched "Home Alone" at nite again..like for 5th time I suppose....I have no idea why we keep watchin tht so many times...*sheesh*..
Sunday was okies I guess..had lunch and my bro got his bicycle..slept for pretty much the whole day.Watched "Oprah" that nite..when am tragically bored..tht show doesnt seem to be too bad but seriesly it spreads really good messages around...

Goin to skool 2day afternoon.I'll be going twice a week for the next 3 months cause their havin some sex education class thing..am glad I'll get 2 update the gf twice a week now then once a week...thts the great part bout this...gosh I can't wait to rant to her bout my fucked up weekend..fuck..

So since this week sorta suxed..next weekend better rock..least better be nicer than this one anywayz...

Be yourself,
No one can ever tell you
You're doin it wrong.

Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna came to soon.

A cute,hilarious tale

[Mood: Carefree]

[Music: Nada Surf - Alwayz Love]

I found this cutely hilarious.Check it out darlin's!!

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true! I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Time out with the GurlzZz!

[Mood:Happy]
[Music: Justin Timberlake: Sexyback]

My weekend has ben a total blast.I needed a good time quite badly and I had loadz of fun with my gurlz and family!!I didn't go to skool this friday cause apparently chapel got moved to Thursday for this week.Spent the day being bored at home and then went to watch Pirates of the Carribean: Dead man Chest's.It was sooo veryyy cool!!!!I absolutely loved it.Johnny Depp was real good and hilarious as usual.Keira Knightly and Orlando did improve a little in this then the 1st.Very cool speacial effects and all.This is definately goin down in my fav list!

Woke up around 9 somethin,though I was suppose to wake up earlier but couldn't cause I crashed around 2 the night before.Rushed and left to Esther's place.Helped her with the cooking and then while waiting,she did for me a manicure which looked super cute!Christine and the rest arrived around 2.We had late lunch and then watched "White Chicks" which was totally hilarious.Had gurlie talks and then jammed in her music room. Later Christine and her family left around 5.While waiting to go to CHC,Esther and I decided to webcam-whore..lolz....Left at 7 and reached half way through worship.Service was good.I really missed it there cause I haven't been goin for a while now.Came home around 10 somethin.Had supper,practiced organ around 11..seriesly I entertain my neighbours every Saturday at 11 with my authentic organ playin(:P)..

Sunday was very casual and I was super tired.I was practically fallin asleep durin sermon which thank goodness no one saw.Had lunch with my aunt and uncle and then came home and slept.Onlined at nite and then watched "High School Musical" yetz again.This must be like the 4th time am watchin it.It has a typical Disney storyline but cool songs and choregraphy.After that my sis and I watched "Aquamarine".It has a really cute story line bout friendship and all.Very sweet!

This week has been rather intersting with its usual ups and downs.I know now that after every hard fall and while pickin yourself up,you became a lot stronger.You can totally feel the change,sometimes your unsure if your changin who you are but its actually the process of building more to who you already are.These few months have been very challenging and I've been hit with the best and worst and I learned so much from it all.I know now that I can alwayz depend on my frenz and I love them to bitzz for tht!!!I've alwayz gone by this philosphy that learning comes through experience and experience is definately a hard teacher.But because of this am not goin to run away from life nor am I gonna restrain myself but am sure gonna learn from it and be careful.

Here are some of the pics we took at Esthers:

P.S~Love ya loadzzZ babe.I had loadz of fun!!Thankz for everything!!! ~MuaxXx

Baby you know it's just Too Little Too Late

[Verse 1]

Come with me

Stay the night

Just say the words but boy it don't feel right

What do ya expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You take my hand

And you say you've changed

But boy you know your begging don't fool me

Because to you it's just a game (You know it's just too little too late)
So let me go now'

Cause time has made me strong

I'm starting to move on

I'm gonna say this now

Your chance has come and gone

And you know...

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
Yeah yeaaahhh... It's just too little too late... Mhmmm

[Verse 2]

I was young

And in love

I gave you everything

But it wasn't enough

And now you wanna communicate (You know it's just too little too late)

Go find someone else

And letting you go

I'm loving myself

You got a problem

But don't come asking me for help'

Cause you know...

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

[Bridge]

I can love with all of my heart, baby

I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)

With a player like you I don't have a prayer

That's the way to live

Ohhhh... mmm noooIt's just too little too lateYeaahhhh...

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
You know it's just too little too late [2x]

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

Am really lovin this tune rite now!!

Great tune and lyrics.

I have yet to watch the video though.

It sounds a lot mature than when she started.

Great song!!

Enjoy~

Random survey

[Mood:Sleepy]

[Music:Britney Spears - Anticipating]

Some random survey...just cause I find it sorta intersting....got it from Ariel's fren site...

Four movies you can watch over and over again:

1. The Notebook- I think you guyz know how much I adore this flick!!!

2. A Walk to Remember-Gosh!!! This flick makes me tear everytime I watch it and I must have watched it like 8 times I think.Such a touchin tale.As you can see,am so into romantic flicks

3.Pirates of the Carribeans-I've watched practically every repeat of it on Disney.Johnny Depp is effin funny and sorta cute actually..lolz...Keira Knightly isnt too bad in this either.Theres some pretty intersting lines and cute humour.

4.The Wedding Planner-Cause its has lovely wedding sets!

Four places I've lived:

1.I've only lived in one place all my life..lolz

2.-

3.-

4.-

Four of my favourite dishes:

1.Tacos-I love the tacos at Chilli's.They have one of the best!!!

2.Nasi Lemak-Yes am a total Malaysian

3.Quisidellas-Its sorta a taco as well but looks slightly differ.Its mexican as well

4.Italian-I like their variety of pastas and sauce

Four sites I visit daily:

1. ~www.myyahoo.com-Cause its my homepage..loaded with the lastest gossips(:p)

2.~www.friendster.com-I gotta stop hangin there so much...really

3.~Xanga quote sites-Am just obssessed with tht stuff....cant help it

4.~www.blogskin.com-Just to check for new,hot skins

Four places I'd rather be right now:

1.Shoppin mall

2.At a movie

3.A beach

4.On vaca somewhere

Four bloggers your taggin:

1.Sam

2.Denise

3.Sharu

4.Christine

~XoXo~

Cause everytime I think you're gone,You show up in my rearview mirror

[Mood:Bored]

[Music: Nelly Furtado - Glow]

The usual Friday at skool was a blast.Loadz of laughing,giggling and crapping.Mostly bout Vitz being gay and I mean by HoMosexUal sorta gay..lolz...thats the way he said it anyway(:P) and 50% of the class agreed on that statement.Sorry ya darlin but I still L.O.V.E YOU no matter what!!!

After skool,we had dance practice for the Emerge thing and found out that we have to audition 1st before doin the real thing and there seems to be a major time limit.Like 2 weeks!!So gotta work overtime on tht.Stayed back till bout 5 in the evening and Christine's dad left me home.The rest of the evening was bore since dad was away,we didnt have our typical Friday outing...*sheesh*...

Saturday was the casual stuff.Went to church and came home bout 7 somethin.Was totally worn out and then onlined at nite.Woke up blurry eyed cause crashed in kinda late the night before.Dad arrived bout 8 somethin.Church was normal...normal.We came home early cause dad was tired and all and then here I am.Maybe be goin out 2nite but am not too sure....

Well you could say this week has been normal with a pinch of drama.It's been crazy and am trying to keep up.Time is flying way too fast and am doin all I can to savour every moment.The other day Kc said she didn't wanna preassure me to see the truth but wanted me to learn it my own way.Even T.Ben was tellin us that the one way we learn the best is through pain and I knew exactly what he meant.Pain really brings the best out of us.I really never thought I will be able to get over it but I did and I feel this huge feelin of accomplishment and I know now what it means to rescue youself.Its when we learn to restrain ourselves from tragedy even if its something that we may think we want.It was a hard lesson learn but the fall was worth it and if I had to do it all over again.I would without changin even the tininiest bit of it.

"Here I am again,talking to myself,sitting at a red light.

Both hands on the wheel,how am I supposed to feel?

So much running through my mind.

First you wanna be free.

Then now you say you need me.

Giving mixed signals and signs.

It's so hard to let you in,

Thinking you might slam the breaks again."

-The Getaway-

A sweet,simple quote

[Mood:Tired]

[Music: Anna Nalick - Breathe]

Found this at a Xanga quote site.It's a long one but very sweet.Real romantic and cute(:P)

Enjoy darlin'z!!

MuaxXx~

I want someone who will open my doors for me. Whether it be a car door or a restaurant door I don't care. I want a gentleman yet I don't want them to be afraid to be themselves around me. I want to be able to belch in front of you and you not be disgusted. I want to be able to be myself and laugh my loudest and cry my hardest. I want someone to dry my tears for me and not be worried about what may be going on I want you to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. Even if It won't. I don't care if you are ripped or fifty pounds over weight, be self confident, because when you are self confident it makes me feel proud no matter what. I want someone who is willing to admit that they lost and I won at card games. I want someone who is willing to let me win but still be a challenge when I want one. I want someone to understand I want to wait. I want someone who will smile when they see me coming toward them. I want someone who will not be afraid to wrap his arms around me near his friends. I want someone who will be worried when I am angry at them. I want someone who won't forget my birthday and valentines day. I want someone who wouldn't be afraid to call me, no matter how much my family harasses them. I want someone who knows when to hold their tongue. I want someone who is willing to stop drinking or smoking because of me. I want someone who will want me. I want someone who is going to take care of me when I am sick. I want someone who wont freak when they see me start to cry but simply say "Oh Baby...." I want someone who can admit they were a dick. I want someone who will take pride in me and my accomplishments as a human. I want someone who will not think of me as a sex object but a person with real feelings. I want someone who can't deny their feelings for me. I want someone who will travel with me. I want someone who wont be afraid to go to church with me. I want someone who can sit through a movie and not make out with me. I want someone who will know that I am not in a good mood by how my voice sounds and my body language. I want someone who is willing to get to know the real me and wait for however long that may take. I want someone who is full of faults yet can laugh at them. I want someone who will give up their jacket for me no matter how cold they may be. I want someone who I can write red hearts on their hands. I want someone who will listen when I talk and babble. I want someone who can take a complement and give them. I want someone who is willing to let me fall asleep in their arms when I am tired. I want someone who will surprise me. Even if I tell you I hate them. I want someone who will watch me at my sports events. I want you to be my loudest cheerleader. I want you to know sometimes its friends first boyfriends last. I want you to know my family. I want you to know how much my family means to me. I want you to know how much my friends mean to me. I want you to know how much you mean to me. I want you to be stupid with me. I want you to be yourself around me,to care and finally L.O.V.E Me with everything he has~

Learn from yesterday,Live for today and Hope for tomorrow

[Mood: Confused]
[Music: Aly and Aj - Rush]

The week started out rather intersting I would say.That was expected,happened.Now I can say am rather good at predicting.Actually karma just proved it self yet again and I thought it got mixed up along the way.Didn't really put much thought into it but I said yes again.I've only told one of the best frenz all that's been going on.She said watchin my story is like watchin a movie.It just holds so much drama.I've been gettin this drama stuff a lot and I can't help by agree.I think am a drama magnet and it's not exactly tht much fun gettin so much of it but am not sayin I hate it.It's enjoyable yet painful sometimes.It's sorta the feeling a goth gets from sliting their wrist.Am not really sure whats with this emo stuff but I haven't actually been the happiest person on the planet lately.

All this trafic is driving me insane and my heart is telling me something else.I know what I should do but am sorta stalling.Hoping for some sign of assurance but there doesnt seem to be any.When you don't want the truth,you drown in those beautiful lies but best frenz alwayz throw the truth in your face whether you like it or not.That's beauty of friendship.They save you at times from yet another sad tale.

This doesn't feel as right I thought it would.It just feels so messed up.Am just waiting for just another truth teller and then am following the heart.I can't afford another teenage tragedy.My fragile,broken heart won't hold 2gether much longer.So keeping strong,am hoping for another miracle but not for someone to catch me from falling cause I've learnt that if you wanna save yourself,you gotta do it yourself.No one is gonna do that for you!

Nothing to hold on to,
No real tears to cry,
You can't breathe life back into a lie.

Yeah I'm good but am no angel.
I do sins but I'm not a devil,
I'm just a small girl in a big world,
Trying to live dayz to the fullest.