I'm Going to Miss You So Much Aunt Pat

It started out a very typical day yesterday. Eric dropped me off after college at around 4. Grabbed some cereal and bummed in front of the tv. Mum was off at the home, my sis was well around and it was nice and quite for some leisure time. At around 5 something or so, I got a phone call from my grandma..deep down I knew this was the phone call I feared..she was crying and told me my aunt was gone. I just held the phone and proccesed those words slowly. I passed the phone to my grandpa and called my dad is singapore straight away and told him to tell my mum cause no way was I going to do it. I went and told my sis and she started screamning at me. I just went to my room and turned on my music and allowed myself to cry.

My mum came home devestated and we went over to her place. Everyone was there. Family, relatives, what not. Dad came over at about 11 something and we spent the night there.

The funeral was the next day at noon. I never really cried that much the last few months that she was sick but my emotions burst from its bottle today. My dad gave a speech and I cried the most I think. I think the whole funeral process was very thereputic for me..like all the emotions that I've kept in me the last few months came out.

I came home tired. Tired from all the crying, emotional tired...Her daughter is gonna stat with us from now on. I can see everyone around me is just emotional drained. As the saying goes...Only Time Can Heal the Pain..

Dear Aunty Pat,

You have alwayz been such an amazing person. You had a great heart and alwayz gave instead of taking. I know I was ungrateful sometimes and am sorry. You will alwayz be like a second mum to me like I've alwayz said every since I was young. I know I took that for granted sometimes and there were times where I've said hurtful things, but I never meant anything by it. Thank you for all the countless times you've made me smile or went out of your way to do so. I will alwayz remember those last nights at your house where we talked about everything and your countless advice. Thank you for alwayz listening to me when I needed to be listnened to and spoiling me when I needed to be.Knowning that you wont be there anymore at some of the biggest moments in my life makes me very sad. Remember the countless times we talked about my wedding and my children and how you are suppose to be babysit them and threnten to tell them things you're not to suppose to..lol...that makes me sad..that you won't be here to do that. Sometimes I can't believe that you're gone. I really can't..There at times I wanna pick up the phone and call you just to hear you...

I'm sorry I didnt visit you as much as I should have the last few months. It was really too painful and I didn't know how to deal with my emotions. I remember the last thing you said to me..you reminded me to feel..to let my emotions run through me and feel for another..and I will alwayz remember that and work towards that. You're strength through the pain will alwayz inspire me to fight..through anything that life throws at me..I've alwayz admired you for being such a wonderfully strong person.

I love you so much and am really gonna miss you.Thank you for being apart of my life.

I love you..

Your niece,
Ezreena