Friday, November 02, 2007

Holdin It All In

[Mood: Deep Thought]
[Music: Nada Surf - Alwayz Love]

Instinct: a natural or inherent aptitude, impulse, or capacity

My instinct has been right 98% of the time.I've realized through time that I have one hell of a rockin intuition but when it comes to something I don't wanna hear...I shut it up and shove my it in a corner.And it sits there in silence but through the silence I know its dying to scream words to help me avoid getting hurt or disappointed. Maybe I do so cause I like the tiny little hope bubble lurking around from time to time. This isn't the first time this happened.It happened bout 5 times!!..Yes I know its lame but I've been counting.Happened a lot in my previous relationship...*bah*...Instinct is seriously a fckin cool feature we have as humans.It's always fascinated me the way it knows tht the wind is bringing in something unfortunate with it.Its wonderful how its built in and just knows the future..! It knows things that are gonna be wrong or right for you. Sometimes I wished I listened it more...n deep down sometimes I wish it predicted more wrongly on things tht right...at least I would smile more...

Lately its been plain hard to just be happy...I've been strugglin with tht lately...actually not just now but for the last few months..I cant seem to find the good things anymore...its like they've evaporated in thin air...like it was never there in the first place..I feel like am lookin for a needle in the haystack....There are still dayz where I cry myself to sleep because its confortin...I'm tryin to be strong for me but there are just those dayz tht throw me on the ground so hard tht I bleed all over again....Those are the unbearable dayz.....And there are times as the rain slowly comes to a halt tht I find tht little ray of light and hope softly whispers in my ear....
..."Just a lil bit longer"....


No comments: