On a much lower note

[Mood:Cheery]
[Music:Panic! At The Disco - Time To Dance]

I guess the balance is what keeps us going.This week ended with a much lower note.Actually in a way too low note.It got caught up with memories,judges judging and just too much more.

On Thursday was my counsin's birthday so headed to the mall.Had Mcds for tea,my usual round of ice cream and fries.Brought back a few memories cause when we went out,that was wht we usual had.So I totally zoned out after that and since my sis was sittin opposite me she was like am not him okies..so don't do anything weird....*bah*.... but as usual shoppin makes me cheerful so I got myself a new pair of shoes from Carlo Rino.Their super cute!!Spent the rest of the dayz at my aunts.

Friday was very casual.With a few of the usual ppl missin.Chapel was done by Aunty Judith this week.Spent the day with Shaun and hothot well thts Adrien's nick.His alwayz known as LC aka Leng Chai.That's what everyone said when they heard a 19yr old was comin to skool.Even the guyz were excited..lolz...yeah I know ever so gay.And I got an intersting compliment as well...I heard him tell the gurlfren that am so "cartoon" whatever that means but thats the 1st time anyone said that bout me but its cool(:P)Came and home and it was fuckin dramatic and from then on till the rest of the weekend..Fuck seemed to be my fav word.Had dinner with the family at nite and it wasnt exactly fun.Watched some screwed up movie after that.."The Long Weekend"..it was lame but sorta funny in a way....

Saturday was an utter bore.Rotted at home.Watched "Home Alone" at nite again..like for 5th time I suppose....I have no idea why we keep watchin tht so many times...*sheesh*..
Sunday was okies I guess..had lunch and my bro got his bicycle..slept for pretty much the whole day.Watched "Oprah" that nite..when am tragically bored..tht show doesnt seem to be too bad but seriesly it spreads really good messages around...

Goin to skool 2day afternoon.I'll be going twice a week for the next 3 months cause their havin some sex education class thing..am glad I'll get 2 update the gf twice a week now then once a week...thts the great part bout this...gosh I can't wait to rant to her bout my fucked up weekend..fuck..

So since this week sorta suxed..next weekend better rock..least better be nicer than this one anywayz...

Be yourself,
No one can ever tell you
You're doin it wrong.

Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna came to soon.

A cute,hilarious tale

[Mood: Carefree]

[Music: Nada Surf - Alwayz Love]

I found this cutely hilarious.Check it out darlin's!!

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true! I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Time out with the GurlzZz!

[Mood:Happy]
[Music: Justin Timberlake: Sexyback]

My weekend has ben a total blast.I needed a good time quite badly and I had loadz of fun with my gurlz and family!!I didn't go to skool this friday cause apparently chapel got moved to Thursday for this week.Spent the day being bored at home and then went to watch Pirates of the Carribean: Dead man Chest's.It was sooo veryyy cool!!!!I absolutely loved it.Johnny Depp was real good and hilarious as usual.Keira Knightly and Orlando did improve a little in this then the 1st.Very cool speacial effects and all.This is definately goin down in my fav list!

Woke up around 9 somethin,though I was suppose to wake up earlier but couldn't cause I crashed around 2 the night before.Rushed and left to Esther's place.Helped her with the cooking and then while waiting,she did for me a manicure which looked super cute!Christine and the rest arrived around 2.We had late lunch and then watched "White Chicks" which was totally hilarious.Had gurlie talks and then jammed in her music room. Later Christine and her family left around 5.While waiting to go to CHC,Esther and I decided to webcam-whore..lolz....Left at 7 and reached half way through worship.Service was good.I really missed it there cause I haven't been goin for a while now.Came home around 10 somethin.Had supper,practiced organ around 11..seriesly I entertain my neighbours every Saturday at 11 with my authentic organ playin(:P)..

Sunday was very casual and I was super tired.I was practically fallin asleep durin sermon which thank goodness no one saw.Had lunch with my aunt and uncle and then came home and slept.Onlined at nite and then watched "High School Musical" yetz again.This must be like the 4th time am watchin it.It has a typical Disney storyline but cool songs and choregraphy.After that my sis and I watched "Aquamarine".It has a really cute story line bout friendship and all.Very sweet!

This week has been rather intersting with its usual ups and downs.I know now that after every hard fall and while pickin yourself up,you became a lot stronger.You can totally feel the change,sometimes your unsure if your changin who you are but its actually the process of building more to who you already are.These few months have been very challenging and I've been hit with the best and worst and I learned so much from it all.I know now that I can alwayz depend on my frenz and I love them to bitzz for tht!!!I've alwayz gone by this philosphy that learning comes through experience and experience is definately a hard teacher.But because of this am not goin to run away from life nor am I gonna restrain myself but am sure gonna learn from it and be careful.

Here are some of the pics we took at Esthers:

P.S~Love ya loadzzZ babe.I had loadz of fun!!Thankz for everything!!! ~MuaxXx

Baby you know it's just Too Little Too Late

[Verse 1]

Come with me

Stay the night

Just say the words but boy it don't feel right

What do ya expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You take my hand

And you say you've changed

But boy you know your begging don't fool me

Because to you it's just a game (You know it's just too little too late)
So let me go now'

Cause time has made me strong

I'm starting to move on

I'm gonna say this now

Your chance has come and gone

And you know...

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
Yeah yeaaahhh... It's just too little too late... Mhmmm

[Verse 2]

I was young

And in love

I gave you everything

But it wasn't enough

And now you wanna communicate (You know it's just too little too late)

Go find someone else

And letting you go

I'm loving myself

You got a problem

But don't come asking me for help'

Cause you know...

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

[Bridge]

I can love with all of my heart, baby

I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)

With a player like you I don't have a prayer

That's the way to live

Ohhhh... mmm noooIt's just too little too lateYeaahhhh...

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
You know it's just too little too late [2x]

[Chorus]

It's just too little too late

A little too long

And I can't wait

But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)

You say you dream of my face

But you don't like me

You're just a good chase

So be real

It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

Am really lovin this tune rite now!!

Great tune and lyrics.

I have yet to watch the video though.

It sounds a lot mature than when she started.

Great song!!

Enjoy~

Random survey

[Mood:Sleepy]

[Music:Britney Spears - Anticipating]

Some random survey...just cause I find it sorta intersting....got it from Ariel's fren site...

Four movies you can watch over and over again:

1. The Notebook- I think you guyz know how much I adore this flick!!!

2. A Walk to Remember-Gosh!!! This flick makes me tear everytime I watch it and I must have watched it like 8 times I think.Such a touchin tale.As you can see,am so into romantic flicks

3.Pirates of the Carribeans-I've watched practically every repeat of it on Disney.Johnny Depp is effin funny and sorta cute actually..lolz...Keira Knightly isnt too bad in this either.Theres some pretty intersting lines and cute humour.

4.The Wedding Planner-Cause its has lovely wedding sets!

Four places I've lived:

1.I've only lived in one place all my life..lolz

2.-

3.-

4.-

Four of my favourite dishes:

1.Tacos-I love the tacos at Chilli's.They have one of the best!!!

2.Nasi Lemak-Yes am a total Malaysian

3.Quisidellas-Its sorta a taco as well but looks slightly differ.Its mexican as well

4.Italian-I like their variety of pastas and sauce

Four sites I visit daily:

1. ~www.myyahoo.com-Cause its my homepage..loaded with the lastest gossips(:p)

2.~www.friendster.com-I gotta stop hangin there so much...really

3.~Xanga quote sites-Am just obssessed with tht stuff....cant help it

4.~www.blogskin.com-Just to check for new,hot skins

Four places I'd rather be right now:

1.Shoppin mall

2.At a movie

3.A beach

4.On vaca somewhere

Four bloggers your taggin:

1.Sam

2.Denise

3.Sharu

4.Christine

~XoXo~

Cause everytime I think you're gone,You show up in my rearview mirror

[Mood:Bored]

[Music: Nelly Furtado - Glow]

The usual Friday at skool was a blast.Loadz of laughing,giggling and crapping.Mostly bout Vitz being gay and I mean by HoMosexUal sorta gay..lolz...thats the way he said it anyway(:P) and 50% of the class agreed on that statement.Sorry ya darlin but I still L.O.V.E YOU no matter what!!!

After skool,we had dance practice for the Emerge thing and found out that we have to audition 1st before doin the real thing and there seems to be a major time limit.Like 2 weeks!!So gotta work overtime on tht.Stayed back till bout 5 in the evening and Christine's dad left me home.The rest of the evening was bore since dad was away,we didnt have our typical Friday outing...*sheesh*...

Saturday was the casual stuff.Went to church and came home bout 7 somethin.Was totally worn out and then onlined at nite.Woke up blurry eyed cause crashed in kinda late the night before.Dad arrived bout 8 somethin.Church was normal...normal.We came home early cause dad was tired and all and then here I am.Maybe be goin out 2nite but am not too sure....

Well you could say this week has been normal with a pinch of drama.It's been crazy and am trying to keep up.Time is flying way too fast and am doin all I can to savour every moment.The other day Kc said she didn't wanna preassure me to see the truth but wanted me to learn it my own way.Even T.Ben was tellin us that the one way we learn the best is through pain and I knew exactly what he meant.Pain really brings the best out of us.I really never thought I will be able to get over it but I did and I feel this huge feelin of accomplishment and I know now what it means to rescue youself.Its when we learn to restrain ourselves from tragedy even if its something that we may think we want.It was a hard lesson learn but the fall was worth it and if I had to do it all over again.I would without changin even the tininiest bit of it.

"Here I am again,talking to myself,sitting at a red light.

Both hands on the wheel,how am I supposed to feel?

So much running through my mind.

First you wanna be free.

Then now you say you need me.

Giving mixed signals and signs.

It's so hard to let you in,

Thinking you might slam the breaks again."

-The Getaway-

A sweet,simple quote

[Mood:Tired]

[Music: Anna Nalick - Breathe]

Found this at a Xanga quote site.It's a long one but very sweet.Real romantic and cute(:P)

Enjoy darlin'z!!

MuaxXx~

I want someone who will open my doors for me. Whether it be a car door or a restaurant door I don't care. I want a gentleman yet I don't want them to be afraid to be themselves around me. I want to be able to belch in front of you and you not be disgusted. I want to be able to be myself and laugh my loudest and cry my hardest. I want someone to dry my tears for me and not be worried about what may be going on I want you to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. Even if It won't. I don't care if you are ripped or fifty pounds over weight, be self confident, because when you are self confident it makes me feel proud no matter what. I want someone who is willing to admit that they lost and I won at card games. I want someone who is willing to let me win but still be a challenge when I want one. I want someone to understand I want to wait. I want someone who will smile when they see me coming toward them. I want someone who will not be afraid to wrap his arms around me near his friends. I want someone who will be worried when I am angry at them. I want someone who won't forget my birthday and valentines day. I want someone who wouldn't be afraid to call me, no matter how much my family harasses them. I want someone who knows when to hold their tongue. I want someone who is willing to stop drinking or smoking because of me. I want someone who will want me. I want someone who is going to take care of me when I am sick. I want someone who wont freak when they see me start to cry but simply say "Oh Baby...." I want someone who can admit they were a dick. I want someone who will take pride in me and my accomplishments as a human. I want someone who will not think of me as a sex object but a person with real feelings. I want someone who can't deny their feelings for me. I want someone who will travel with me. I want someone who wont be afraid to go to church with me. I want someone who can sit through a movie and not make out with me. I want someone who will know that I am not in a good mood by how my voice sounds and my body language. I want someone who is willing to get to know the real me and wait for however long that may take. I want someone who is full of faults yet can laugh at them. I want someone who will give up their jacket for me no matter how cold they may be. I want someone who I can write red hearts on their hands. I want someone who will listen when I talk and babble. I want someone who can take a complement and give them. I want someone who is willing to let me fall asleep in their arms when I am tired. I want someone who will surprise me. Even if I tell you I hate them. I want someone who will watch me at my sports events. I want you to be my loudest cheerleader. I want you to know sometimes its friends first boyfriends last. I want you to know my family. I want you to know how much my family means to me. I want you to know how much my friends mean to me. I want you to know how much you mean to me. I want you to be stupid with me. I want you to be yourself around me,to care and finally L.O.V.E Me with everything he has~

Learn from yesterday,Live for today and Hope for tomorrow

[Mood: Confused]
[Music: Aly and Aj - Rush]

The week started out rather intersting I would say.That was expected,happened.Now I can say am rather good at predicting.Actually karma just proved it self yet again and I thought it got mixed up along the way.Didn't really put much thought into it but I said yes again.I've only told one of the best frenz all that's been going on.She said watchin my story is like watchin a movie.It just holds so much drama.I've been gettin this drama stuff a lot and I can't help by agree.I think am a drama magnet and it's not exactly tht much fun gettin so much of it but am not sayin I hate it.It's enjoyable yet painful sometimes.It's sorta the feeling a goth gets from sliting their wrist.Am not really sure whats with this emo stuff but I haven't actually been the happiest person on the planet lately.

All this trafic is driving me insane and my heart is telling me something else.I know what I should do but am sorta stalling.Hoping for some sign of assurance but there doesnt seem to be any.When you don't want the truth,you drown in those beautiful lies but best frenz alwayz throw the truth in your face whether you like it or not.That's beauty of friendship.They save you at times from yet another sad tale.

This doesn't feel as right I thought it would.It just feels so messed up.Am just waiting for just another truth teller and then am following the heart.I can't afford another teenage tragedy.My fragile,broken heart won't hold 2gether much longer.So keeping strong,am hoping for another miracle but not for someone to catch me from falling cause I've learnt that if you wanna save yourself,you gotta do it yourself.No one is gonna do that for you!

Nothing to hold on to,
No real tears to cry,
You can't breathe life back into a lie.

Yeah I'm good but am no angel.
I do sins but I'm not a devil,
I'm just a small girl in a big world,
Trying to live dayz to the fullest.

As the light slowly shines through that window panel

[Mood:Tired]

[Music: James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover]

School was pretty casual.Hanged with the gf's and met an old fren.I had no idea it was him.I mean we were in the same school when I was like 7.He became a Christian and thank God for that.He remembered me quite well actually and when he told me who he was..all I did was OMG!!! I can't believe it.I asked him if I still look the same and he said nope not really.He still has that twitch in his eye and the way he stands is sorta still the same.His a lot more shy now.I kept smilin and tellin the gf how he has changed and still not too much.When we were younger I was the prefect and he was the mischievous one so yeah he was the nightmare in class..lolz...fun fun times of screaming,arguing and laughing.He was the naughty kid with a good heart I guess..lolz...well he turned the complete opposite from what I expected and am suprised to see him again after all these years.Its intersting when you meet someone years later.He turned out to be pretty cute as well(:P)It's just a fun crush nothin series..lolz...well besides that my Friday ended with a hearty seafood dinner with the family.

Saturday was a drag.Just the normal mornin onlining and practising for church.Watched "Million Dollar Baby"..Finally!!....it was really good..a sad,inspirin tale.The actors were good and carried their roles very well indeed.Has a pretty sad endin though..and no I didnt cry..okies so I did tear a little....BAH..

Daddy left for the U.S that mornin.Will miss him but its just for a week so thats not too bad..I guess....*sniffles* ....hope he gets more Heshey kisses when he gets back though(:P)....church was pretty casual..my aunt brought along a man from Holand whos workin here. And when he speaks he sounds total Micheal Scheumacher.A mix of Holland and German accent.Pretty cool actually..lolz...After that went over to my aunt's place,hung around and came home around 5.Slept for a couple of hours and spent quality time with the lappie.Tried to stay up for the Final match but fell asleep after half time...yetz again....aparently Italy won!!!!!..My week ahead is packed with loadz of skool work cause of my genius procrastinating and I shall try to find some sorta fun time in the middle..Hopefully....

Let's get together,

Live a little.

Break some rules,

And come out smiling.

There are three things a girl needs in life:

Love to make her feel weak,

Alcohol to make her feel strong,

And a best friend to pick her up when she falls from both

Livin in a crash world

[Mood:Calm]

[Music: James Blunt - Wiseman]

The very much needed getaway was good and I had a really good time.Layin by the pool and beach,admirin sunsets,sleepin and doin a bit of writin here and there.I wanted lotz of sun and I got it allrite..lolz..Got to see some nature as well,that was pretty nice.The week ran by really fast though and before I knew it,it was Friday.But overall is was sweet.Durin that time,I mostly tried to clear my head and try to relax and all but it didn't go too well at first but sunsets alwayz cheer me up.They showed me that there is beauty all I gotta do is believe.Faith and hope are around but I gotta cling on....

Came home on Friday evening and was dead bored.Watched some horror pic that nite and watched the Germany match.It was a definately an intersting match and the squable in the ending was somethin out of the ordinary.

So Saturday was back to skool work in which I was in absolutely no mood to do.Just layed around and was just plain tired.Checked in with Christine and it seems we do have our own dance team!With 2 guyz in it..Ken and Jon... and Vitz is helpin them outz.Totally excited bout that!!I guess this is an opurtunity to put my heart on my passion and work on it.The thing is I think we're gonna perform in front of loadz of ppl.that will definately be excitin and nerve wreckin.....but I bet the practices and all will be fun and we're havin it at the gf's place so thats a major plus side....Oh btw Vitz just posted a video on friendster of him dancin and tht guy can dance!!!!I just found out and was in shock.Esther said that was probably his secret talent...lolz...but use to alwayz seem him dance around in school and all...Onlined that nite and watched "Win a date with Tad Hamilton"...tht pic has a great soundtrack and the story is really sweet too....also catched up with half of the England game and then I fell asleep....

Opened the paper next mornin and was totally disappointed...England was outz...what a tragedy....Damn they can't even score a penalty shoot out right....headed to church in total tired mode..I just felt totally worn out that mornin.Headed to the mall after that and finished my allowance on some necklaces and bracelets...I needed to shop!...came home and worked out a little..yes ppl you read rite..durin the vaca my mum dragged me to the gym everyday and it was miracle that I wasnt too sore and all...but am tryin to work out everyday now..exercise will do me good..at least I hope it does..

Went out for dinner that nite and missed "High School Musical" but managed to tape it.I soo wanna watch that..I know its a total Disney movie but it inspires and I could do with some inspiration...its a disappointment that Brazil is out as well..I thought they'll most probably win again..*siGh*..

Well I got loadz of skool work to catch up on and my mum is total stressin on that like every 5 minutes!...Shes been sayin I have an attitude problem lately...even my grandma says I havent been my jolly old self lately...I think I gotta do somethin bout that...my poor sis is alwayz gettin it when am in a bad mood which I've been in a lotz..I feel bad bout that cause am throwin it at my mum as well and everyone else in the house...BAH!...I gtg tackle Geography now..wish me luck...

Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again,

So when life gets tough you can just play pretend..

I wanna go back to when santa did exist..

When your daddy was the only boy you ever kissed..

When disney world was the best place to be..

When the only movies you could see were rated G..

When your biggest problem was learning to write your name..

& people didnt change..

& your friends were the same..

& everytime you were sad or you had a bad day you could just run to mommy

&it would all be okay..

I wanna go back to no hurt..& no pain..

Just laughter..

When fairy tales were true,

And everyone always lives happily every after.

When the sunset hits those waves just right,

I bet theres magic,

Lingerin the air,

Just waitin to change someone's life around.

With the water under my feet,

And the wind in my back,

I felt all the wanders of life,

Love,faith,hope,happiness,

And there's beauty behind brokeness.