Lookin Ahead

[SilverStein - Smile In Your Sleep]

I guess I'm slightly afraid to move on a new path n afraid to take chances.Had a talk with my dad last nite n we were lookin through the college pamphlets we picked out at the exhibition at Mid Valley.So then we decided to go talk to th counsellor.Then I was havin 2nd thoughts about computer science...again!..then mum came n we broke in an argument.N ended up in me stormin out of the room.The next mornin was round 2 with my mum yetz again so I was bummed about n super fustrated...

Then Benji's calls n says his sister wants to got for lunch n see my mum n all.I needed time to chill out so I was like yeah sure.They came aroun 3.She brought her bf along n we went to mcd's.Catched up n all.Then came back to my place for tea.Then my college topic came up n his sis was real nice.She totally encouraged me n all n talked 2 me bout her trials n her bf explained wht the course is goin to go n all.Seriouly it felt like they came at the right time n I really needed the talk.His sis like an older sis I never had n she really treats me like a younger sis..Felt like the whole thing happened at the right timin n this was to push me forward. Kinda reassurin me that is gonna be okies n to take that leap of faith..

So sat down tht nite n really made my mind.Went though what I wanted n what my goals are n decided that this was it.I mean ever since I was young I watched what my dad n wanted ever so much to do what he did.I guess fear kicked in and I was stressin with the whole emotional rollercoaster I've been goin through the whole.So it was all just very bad timin.

Went to Taylor's today but the office was closed.When I got out of the car I realized that' "My goodness from here on its a whole new thing.Everything is different from now on...I felt that pang of nervousness n excitement n fear all at the same time"...I guess it's realization that am gonna be 18 real soon..!