Behind These Dark Brown Eyes

[Mood: Hurt]

[Music: Good Charlotte - Predictable]

How could you?

How could you break me this way,

How could you do this?

This is revenge isn't it.

Why did you lie to me then?

Why did you leave the taste of your lips on mine?

Why did you say you loved me?

Why did you even bother tryin to care.

All I needed was someone to prove me wrong,

To show me that somethingz are worth it,

But Thank You for showin me the truth,

Why didn't I see this comin?

I guess I thought this would never ever happen between us.

But I want you to know this,

You are NEVER,

And I mean EVER gonna see tears,

Behind these eyes....

Merry Christmas Ya'll

[Mood: Joyous]
[Music: Bob Carlisle - Christmas Shoes]

It was almost Christmas time
There I stood in another line
Try to buy that last give or two
Not really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me
Was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing around like little boys do
And in his hands he had
A pair of shoes

And his clothes were worn and old
He was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

They counted pennies for what seems like years
And cashier says son there's not enough here
He searches is pockets franticly
And he turned and he looked at me
And he said Momma made Christmas good in our house
Most years she just did without
Tell me Sir
What am I gonna do?
Some how I gotta buy her these Christmas shoes
So I laid the money down
I just had to help him out
And I'll never forget
The look on his face
When he said Momma's gonna look so great

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

I know I won't regret some help as he thanked me and ran out
I know that God sent that little boy to remind me
What Christmas is all about

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want it to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight
I want it to look good
If Momma meet's Jesus tonight

This is definately the true meaning of christmas.To share love,hope,joy and peace around.
Hope all you guyz have a rockin' christmas!!
To all my readers and homies out there..
MERRY CHRISTMAS WITH LOVE!!!
~XoxO~

No More...

[Mood: Excited]

[Music: Kelly Clarkson - Because of You]

I tried...

I really did,

But it doesn't seen like your gonna change or at least try,

I really am sorry for you,

Just thought you'd like to know.

I alwayz thought you were better than that,

And you were different,

But you're just as bad as all the rest,

Thank for being honest with me.

After all that we've been through,

Haven't you learned anything,

Guess you're just became ever more egositic,

This is definately sad.

I'm really tired of all the crap that keeps happening again and again,

And you could say am fed up,

I really don't mind your ignorance,

It makes my life a whole lot simpler.

I didn't tell you to change your whole self,

All I did say was to think before throwing your words outz,

Guess you'd don't wanna do that,

And am not gonna bother anymore.

Round and round

[Mood: Bubbly]

[Music: Blink 182 - I Miss You]

I have no idea,

How you do it all,

The way you drag me into a whirlwind

And I still go back for more.

Maybe its the thrill,

Maybe its the crazyness,

But from what I know,

It's definately Not normal.

Am uncertain now,yetz again

And that's definately not good,

I wanna scream out loud,babe,

Is there anyway do make all this go away?

Just another regret...and gosh do I hate them....

[Mood: Fustrated]

[Music: Sum 41 - Over My Head]

I can't take it anymore,

I really can't,

I've tried and tried again

But you seem to be a hopeless case.

Your mad you know that,

No one and I mean no one is ever gonna get through to you,

Trust me on that,

Your gonna know that one day.

The amount of time I've wasted with you,

Everything seems such a regret,

And I think you are one too,

Oh the time I've wasted.

I hope someone tortures you the same way,

Kills you slowly,

Never allowing to say a word,

To leave you in a corner.

Well from now on I offically give up on you,

No more tears and pain,

No more trying for something so hopeless,

Cause your a huge regret,

And so you know,

I hate REGRETS....

Plez....Don't...

[Mood: Too darn confused]

[Music: My Cheamical Romace - I'm Not Okay]

I hope you've changed,

And not become the person I think you are,

I wanna see the person I love and care bout,

For I can't bare to be disappoited again.

Don't break me like the way you did before,

Please......

After all I've gone through with you,

Hasn't it all been enough?

Am afraid,

Am scared,

And I fear too much,

I don't want you to turn into my worse nightmare.

I hope you remember the words I've said,

And the tears I've cried,

Cause if it goes to waste,

Don't bother speaking to me again.

Just fuckin' don't.

A great weekend

[Mood: Happy]

[Music: Kelly Clarkson - Because of You]

Headed to Mid Valley today.I just love that place.All your favourite stores in one place.......

Just looked around a lotz and bought a t shirt from BodyGlove.One of my fav brandz!!

I just like the patterns a lot and all.Had lunch at Uncle Chili's after that.I ablosultely LOVE the tacos there.Yum!...actually I love all the food there...lolz...

Came home and did some chores.The typically look after the dog and clean up the room routine.

Gosh......Rite nowz,just sitting around and checkin my mail and all....the usual Sunday nite thing...nothing out of the ordinary......

And so it turns out to be a great weekend.It's been rockin and am trying my best to make the greatest out of everything and it's been all fuckin good.........

So have a great week ahead darlin's!!!!!

La La

[Mood: Excited]

[Music: Ashlee Simpson - La La]

Friday was the last day of skool and it was a kind of sad parting.Am gonna miss skool so much!

A few ppl gave a speech and all and it was real sweet,espeacially Sonia's one.It was real good.

After skool a whole bunch of us headed to the mall to watch Zathura.Not that we were waiting for it and all but it was the only flick available at that time and we watched it out of desperation..lol....It wasn't too bad though.Hanged at the arcade and all and played a dance like game with pet sis who just couldn't get enough of it...Gosh Hannah....u rock at it!!

After that I went shopping with Christine and her sis.It was so damn fun cause we went to practically every clothing shoppin in there...lol......we had such a good time just laughing and all....I came home bout 7 P.M and then headed back to the mall to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with my family.And I got to say ppl that flick was real good.Speacially the speacial effects and all! It was preety long though...like bout 2 hours plus I think...I just reached home and I feel totally DEAD!

Well dude's am gonna hit bed nowz..I have to admit though I had one awesome day and it was the company that made the day rock!....Love all guyz loadZzz!!!...~MuaXzzzZ~

I love the way you love me

[Mood:Dreamy/In Love]

[Music: Yellowcard- Only One]

I thought am never going 2 be in your arms again,

Or be able to tell you how much I love you,

But I guess when people collide,

Its just happens.

I didn't mind the wait cause somehow in my heart somethin told me its gonna be alrite,

When you told me that you wanted me back in your life,

I wanted to scream out loud,

And so patience does have its rewards after all.

When am with you,

Being me is never a problem,

I love the way you accept me the way I am,

Your patient and your kindness is what I admire the most.

I want you to know that I love you baby,

And being with you makes me feel darn great,

You're one hell of a speacial guy,

Cause no one has made me feel the way I do when am with you,

I love you!!!!!

Happy Birthday darlin'!!!!

~MuaX~

Hectic is good,for me anyway

[Mood: Worn Out]

[Music: None]

The whole week of practice really did make me feel like am seriesly lackin in exercise.And also am really sore rite nowz....Gosh.....But I had my part of fun this week, So I ain't complaining too much....LOL...the awards nite was really fun.I really had a great time.I got to streak my hair red and all.....just came home btw...am so darn worn outz now....

This week has been real crazy.Dealin with frenz and preassures of rehersals.Running around and all.Hectic weeks are real good....(:P)....Oh and not forgettin unexpected thingz happening and all...am dancing around too much lately....lol.....dancin happily anyway....

Well I've come to where I wanted to be and it feels so damn good.

It's good to know that thingz have their way of straighning up.

So you could say I had one fuckin good week!!!!!!!

Punkish Lover Outz~

Lessons are learned daily baby

[Mood: Tired/Kinda Upset]

[Music: Get It Together - Indie Arie]

When your caught which so much going on,

You'll feel like your drowning alive,

That's how I feel rite now,

Am lost and out in the bitter cold.

What have I got to do to prove to you that you matter to me,

And what have I got to do to show you that I have changed and no more like you,

When will you see me as me?

When will you learn to accept the real me without being bitter about it.

Haven't you done enought damage?

And isn't time to fix thingz up,

When I need you to be there?

Why is hurting me your main aim.

I guess it doesn't take long to know who your real frenz are,

Cause the truth will show sooner or later,

And I know now that I should show how much my real homies matter to me,

Lessons are learned daily in your life baby....

Its been real good lately....

[Mood: Kinda Insane]

[Music: All American Rejetcs - Move Along]

Well last week was total vacation..no studying and all, just plain doin nothing.I needed it badly...I think....Anyway lately I've been very happy and I've absoluty no idea why... ok maybe I have a slight idea...its cause there have been a whole damn less drama and everything seems to be place lately.I've been more sane and I guess that makes me happy....

I went to skool 2day,there was dance practice 2day and I seriesly have to start practicing and all cause I think am kinda rusty,havent been dance for a few months now...*rolls eyes*.....After practice,Esther,Asha and I went for a drink and all....It's nice 2 spend time with your girlfriends...lolz.....just laughing and crappin for absoluty no reason...its all good....

Well I've gotta go check if my "One Tree Hill" download is done...its the 1st episode of season 3 btw.....I really don't wanna wait for it till next year...am just wayy too impatient!!...

You made my day...

[Mood:Glad]

[Music:Backstreet Boys - Safest Place To Hide]

Miracles do happen,

All you have to do is to believe,

When you least expect something to happen,it happens,

When you feel its never gonna be the same again,

You're somehow proved wrong.

I'm glad you've decided to forgive me,

Cause you're have no idea how happy you made me,

For I feel totally relieved now....

But I just want you to know that I mean this....

I'm really sorry darlin'.....

Now am standing in the cold......

[Mood: Upset]
[Music: Backstreet Boys - Siberia]

For all times for ego to take over,
This time theres no one else to blame....
How could I have lied to you?

I've alwayz cared about you,
And I'll alwayz have your back,
Not speakin to you kills me,
And you ignoring me,drowns me with guilt.

I've never said 'I love you" wihout meaning it,
But why did I pretend??
Am still trying to figure that outz....

I've alwayz feared telling someone the way I feel,
Fear takes over just by thinking about it,
All wounds start hurting again,
And that's when I decide to pretend.

As I held on to my covers,
And closed my eyes,
All the thoughts of you flowed through me,
I cligged onto my pillow as tears flowed from my eyes,
And I cried myself softly to sleep,
Hoping that this will turn out to be a bitter nightmare.....

Survey/Quiz

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Beautifully Broken

[Mood: Confused]

[Music: Ashlee Simpson - Beautifully Broken]

After all I've been through,

Why haven't I learned,

Am beautifully broken....

Am back to where I started,

Yet again....

Listen to heart,

Alwayz....

Thts wht I've just learned.

I've gone through much this year,

And I've learned alwayz to pick myself up,

To go on with the scars,

To carry them around without showin them.....

Theres beauty in everything,even in a broken heart,its'll just take time to see it...

Don't Try this.....

[Mood: Sick]
[Music: Danial Powter - Bad Day]

You've alwayz been my shoulder to cry on and to lean on
And I have no idea how you can make me laugh when am in tears,
I can't lose you,
For I don't know what I will become of me if I do,
So hurting you is out of the picture.
The scars you've left still hurt,
And I think the many times I've hurt you still sting,
I regret the day I left your side,
For I left a part of me with you,
And tht was one of my biggest mistake,
Why do you alwayz hide the way you feel?
I wanna see you the way you see me,

I thought my heart would have an answer for this,
But I think this is just far too diffult,

You're different from the other,
Your words captivate me and drown me at the same time,
I have come down an unknown road and there seems no way back,
There are no detours or shortcuts,
This time am real sure....
Don't catch me as I fall,For am falling too fast....

Hanginz outz the unusual way...

[Mood: Happy]

[Music: Howie Day - Collide]

Yesterday was super fun..in the morning had this field trip to th Aquatic at KLCC.We went there with the train and it was really funny cause we were so loud in there,everyone kept starin at us like we were a bunch of pyshos...lol....hanged in the Aquaria for like 45 minutes...the fishes were really intersting and all....after tht everyone went window shoppin...Christine,Esther and I were hangin out the whole time and we kept laughing so much tht every shop we went to,we got a whole load of stares.........it was really hilarious...we went into GUESS,Converse,FCUK...and a few others....just browsing around......after tht we had lunch at Secret Recipe.........later a few others planned to go to Denise's house and I decided to tag along.....so like 15 of us pilled into her van and went there.It was a really funny sight cause everyone was sitting on each others lap and Asha and I kept takin photos and all...hahaha....we hanged at her house for like an hour or two.....and I reached home at about 6 in the evening....

Had a bath and hanged on line after tht,and then I decided to get on the phone with a fren...which lasted for nearly an hour...lolz....tht was about it...it was one hell of a day...and I had loadz of fun.........~XoXo~

Heres the group pic at the train station.....am the seventh person from the left to right...by Asha,in front of Christine...

Totally Chocolately

[Mood: Full]

[Music: My Chemical Romance - Helena]

When I feel depressed,its chocolate I go 2.I just ate a whole bar.......Damn........I feel totally guilty now. *siGh*

My mum watched a little of "One Tree Hill" 2day and decide tht today is the last time I'm ever gonna watch it.She said tht am only 15 and I shouldnt watch stuff about high skool kidz goin around havin sex and babies......fuck.....thts like my most favourite tv show ever...I've never been so obbssed with a show like this before.....my mum is just wayy too fussy....Thank God I can download epsiodes....or else I don't know wht I'll do......I feel so damn chocolately rite now...must be the chocolate latte.....I feel like gettin drunk 2 nite and I have no idea why.......ok maybe I have a slight idea why

I alwayz put myself in fucked up messed and I alwayz have no idea how 2 get out.....I need to getaway.....to somewhere far,far away.....I think the chocolate is takin effect....cause am fuckin crappin here....am gonna do some maths homework now.....Nit3ZzzZZzzZZ.....

I'm leavin...and this time it may be for good..

[Mood:Tired/bored]

[Music: Story of the Year - Sidewalks]

"I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth."

I think ppl like seeing my reactions when am hurt, so tht may be why they like hurting me a lot.I don't really show much emotion at times.So I think its thrilling 2 see me cry......

I have come down to the point where I can't think straight anymore and nothing I do seems worth it.

I'm gonna go pack and start walking now.For I've plan to go far far away from you.I seriesly can't take it anymore.I've tried to be patient and understanding but nothing seems to work.Dragging me in circles also, have only been driving me crazy.So am gonna leave now and this time it may be for good......

Round and round,here we go again

[Mood: Blurry]

[Music: N'sync - This I Promise You]

Well a few dayz back I thought I knew what I wanted and then I didnt,

and now I think I know again...damn...all this crazyness just gotta stop and I hope soon.

When we are faced with choices in life,we alwayz have 2 choice the right ones cause they'll end up effecting us,moulding us to wht we will become.

I've been through a lot this last couple of dayz and its been mad.

One part of me ones to just have fun,go around..... jumping the words"Whtever will be,will be" and the other side of me keeps saying "Listen to your heart,it will show you the way"

I don't want to hurt anyone,I really dont.I don't want to lose anyone either.But curiosity confuses me and am afraid will lead me to the wrong path.

I know wht I want but I do wander,is having too much wrong,will it mess me up.

It seems so harmless.Kinda of right in a screwed up way.

If I explain my situation to someone,they'll say the right path is so clear.

Its rite before my eyes,I know,but from here,its wht I choose......

My sunshines all around...why cant you see??

[Mood:Crazy]

[Music: Backstreet Boys - Climbing the Walls]

I wanna be the only one,

Is that too much to ask,

I want you 2 be mine,

My one and only.

Have you just decided to surrender?

After all the shit that you've gone through,

Did you just decided I was the one that was gonna save you?

Didn't I tell you this would happen babe.

Am the physco going out of control,

And there doesnt seem to be an end to this road.

Look out your window,

And you'll find my sunshine all around,

You drive me crazy and you make me feel speacial at the same time,

You screwed up idiot.

I've become undiscovered again,

I didn't do anything right than,

And I feel am making mistakes yet again,

But why do I still want you,

Have I gone mad?

Here I go again...

[Mood: Excited]

[Music: Mandy Moore - Cry]

I went 2 skool today and I had a total blast.It was a really good day.And the most unexpected thing happened...you'll just never guess....I think good frenz can't stay away for long...lolz...and I can't keep enemys anywayz....lol.....everyone was in a very happy mood 2day and even teacher Ben wandered why.I was there till about 5 something.Feel kinda of half-dead now.But I had a good time.

Thingz have been kinda of chaotic around me lately.My head going in all kindz of directions and thts causin me 2 give ppl some fucked up ideas to.......*siGh*....and everone around me have arived to a conclusion tht I am indeed mad.

I think now,rite now,I know what I want and that is to be with a certain someone again.We started out really good friends and I guess feelings grew along the way but we kinda messed it up...more like I kinda messed it up......and then I thought he was gone.But at times I liked being proven wrong and I was thankful this time I was.His alwayz been kinda speacial 2 me and this time I think maybe..just maybe..am in love again....

To appericiate...alwayz

[Mood: Upset]

[Music:Bob Carlisle - Butterfly Kisses ]

We should always be grateful for the dayz we live,

And we should alwayz show the people around us how much we love them,

For we will never know what dayz have in store for us,

Gratefulness and love must alwayz be remembered in our daily lives,

I can never bear the thought of losing a love one,

I can't even imagine what kind of state it will leave me in,

I will alwayz remember to be thankful for my life

And to tell everyone in my life how much I care for them.....

"To my dear friend Rita,Am so sorry upon the departure of you father.

You are a very strong person and I admire you for that,the way you are going on with your life is increadible.Continue going on with life and alwayz be strong.For your father is in a better place.And alwayz remember,am here for you.With lots of love...."

Running to nowhere

[Mood:Numb ]

[Music:Backstreet Boys - Siberia]

After weeks of overwhelming sadness and heart brokeness,thingz finally have seem to fall in place,

Its been an intersting week,meeting new ppl and reconciling with old frenz,

Life seems to be a huge cycle tht repeats quite a bit,

Everytime I think I have everything in place,

That's when life decides to prove me wrong,

The week seems to end with intersting theories and thoughts,

Where am I to go when am lonely,

My feelingz can't be felt anymore,

What have I become?

I have ran and ran for miles,

Running down an unknown road,

Maybe I should have turned back a long time ago,

But I know now its too late.

The result of broken promises,its really too much

[Mood: Crazy]

[Music: Crossfade - Cold]

Livin in reality is hard for me,it kills my creative side.I rather leave my head in the clouds,where it belongs.Only when my reality collides with my daydreams,will then I 'll decide 2 come down.Am too complicated for my own good understanding and tht keeps me partially sane.I've lost it a long time ago and you might wander what am blabbin about.This is the result of a broken promises,it messes with you mind a lot.It reaps you sanity and leaves you mindless.Am wandering around without a thought in my head.I've gotta find reality soon before I end up like you.

Bloggin Personality

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

What's" Your Blogging Personality?

Your gasps was carried by the wind

[Mood: Dreamy]

[Music: Marion Raven - Little by Little]

I was glad we've come this far,it looked lovely out here.We've gone through much and learned a lot from each other.But though the place looked beautiful....there was this lake by the corner that didn't blend in.It looked weird and it slightly freaked me out.I just stared at it but looked away quickly.But you took a longer glance at it and you were just a bit too intersted in it.I noticed the way you were lookin but I just kept quiet.You walked into it and checked it out.It seemed so harmless then,so I just watched you from a distance......

That was until you started drowing,you started to slowly sink and I heard your soft gaspings.The sounds of your gasp was clear against the soft breazy and I ran to ur side.I was startled at the sight of you.I reached out my hand and tried to grab yours but you refused to grab hold.I started cryin and screaming at the same time,beggin you to take hold of my hand but you refused.....and so I just laid there by the lake's bank for dayz,my arm streached out to you, as I watched you slowly being overwhelmed by the water.Teary eyed I told you how much you meant to me and how much I cared for you.As you saw me crying and my tears flowing freely,I think,maybe,just maybe you realized how much I cared because you slowly started reachin for my fingers.....

I was glad to see you holdin on,even though it was just a little,I was happy you kinda did want to be rescued.I know it will take time before you reach for my whole hand and hold on to it.It will take a while before you decided throughly that you want to be rescued..until then I'll wait...... cause I wasn't willin to lose you than and am not willing to lose you now......

It's been good lately..

[Mood: Happy]

[Music: Fall Out Boy - Sugar We're Going down]

Went out with Esther yesterday.It was totally fun.We went to Pyramid....watched "Dukes of Hazzard"..it was a really funny flick..Johhny Knoxville is a really funny comedian and a hott one too.....Jessica Simpson had the most stupiest role of all..she had more scenes showing off her body then sayin anything....thts why I like her sister better...shes smarter...anywayz...it was seriesly funny cause durin the movie everytime there was a scene with Jessica wearin something skimpy..Esther kept whacking me cause I kinda dragged her to watch it..lol...after tht we went window shoppin and ate quite a bit on the way....lol.....it was all good....came back at 7pm....after tht hanged around the house and watched tv....I had a really really cool day...

Did nothing much 2day...am bored...seriesly bored...I think I'll go watch F1 with my dad..hope Micheal does well...GO Ferari!!!!!

ChowZzz..

This is the way the weekend should be darlin'

[Mood: Happy/Tired]

[Music: Jay Sean - Stolen]

I've been havin a really good weekend...wow....havent said tht in quite a while..I went to KL yesterday nite,had dinner at Park Royal..its this cute little hotel btw..then a little walk round.My sister has gone to some church trip and all,so I've ben havin a peaceful,calm weekend....I do miss her though....*sigh*...anywayz went to Kl today afternoon yetz again cause my dad wanted to get some stuff,so I decided to shop a little.

I got this really cute top from Voir,which I fell in love with at first sight..I know it sounds weird but before I get some type of clothin,I have to fall in luv with it cause then I'll know, I'll wear it..so yeah I know am weird....Anyway now I'll have to find a skirt to go with that.I shall go skirt shoppin one day..soon..real soon......I spent practically half the day there btw....just lookin round..we just kept walkin a lotz...it was fun....I had a good time....rite now am so darn tired...my legs are hurtin so fuckin badly....I shall go and wait for "One Tree Hill" to start.....

P.S>> Never wear heels for shoppin...it'll kill your feet alive....ALIVE....BAH

You're speacial to me and I think you know that babe...

[Mood: Very Much Confused]
[Music: Howie Day - Collide]

This must be some bad day or somethin'

Cause its been so darn confusin',

I miss you,

Do you know that?

Do I still mean somethin to you,

Cause you alwayz have,

When you asked me if I was alrite,

I answered the truth,after such a long time.

I don't wanna see you leave just like that,

After all we've goin through,

I will not survive...

If you leave.

I always will care for you,

You have the gift of makin me laugh while I cry,

I don't know anyone else who can do that,

And that makes you ever more special to me.

What you said today stung me,

I felt numb for while,

I coudn't feel anymore,

I've no idea how that happened.

I pray that one day,

I'll see you a few years from now,

Happy and all good,

That would be one of the best dayz of my life babe.

Everyday is going by

[Mood: Tired]

[Music: Gavin DeGraw - Follow Through]

Well ppl I've been kinda busy these couple of dayz,sorry for the lack of updates, so heres a quick recap....Monday I went grocery shoppin with my mum and..it was fun....by the time we came back,I was so fuckin dead but it had fun speandin time with my mum.....On Tuesday,I just stayed home and in the evening,went 2 Swensen and had the earthquake...love the ice-cream there speacially the rum and raisin flavour....the rest of the week went by the usually way......borin...

Today there was some stuff at church and all,went there at like 9 something and came back at 3.Am feelin dead nowz...its gonna go on till Saturday but am havin a good time.....but I guess I'll be whinning for the next couple of dayz....

Btw am thinkin of changing my blog's skin again...why'd u guyz think??

Ps: Vitto I know waca gonna say...."wht the hell is wrong with you??" aint tht rite dude....LOL

Its okies...I guess

I am 32% evil.

I could go either way. I have sinned quite a bit but I still have a bit of room for error. My life is a tug of war between good and evil.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com


LOL....I guess this is all ritie...(:P)

Wounds will heal...I know of it...

I scream my lungz out but no ones hears,

I cry out loud but no one knowz,

I've run out of tears,

Look what you've done to me.

I am speechless,

And I don't want to hear you stupit excuses anymore,

Cause you should have told me the day....

The day you went away.

These wounds will heal,

I know it will

But it will take time,

How long??

I've learned so much,

From all these brusies,

I know from now onwards I shall not be..

As naive as I was....

Lyin' on the outside

[Mood: Shattered]

[Music: Diana DeGarmo - All I Never Wanted]

I guess I just have to accept reality,

I wish at times tht I can't feel,

Wht the hell did I do wrong?

To deserve all this crap.

Maybe I was a monstorous person in my before life,

But I dont believe in tht stuff anyway,

I just can't figure out what I did wrong,

No matter how hard I try.

Thts why I love day dreamin so much,

It makes me feel safe,

I hate myself for fallin for you,

Its my stupit mistake anyway.

Here I am once again,

and am broken into pieces,

Well am kinda immune 2 this anyway,

I wander when will all this happen yetz again.

You were all I never wanted,

But why in world do I still want you?

You were my nightmare by day,

And a dream by night.

I may smile on the outside,

But am shattared on the inside,

I dont' want you 2 know am hurt,

Cause you don't really care anyway baby.

You make me wanna LA LA

[Mood: Happy]

[Music: Ashlee Simpson - La La]

Went outz with a couple of frenz 2day to watch "Herbie" with my sister,my pet sis and a couple of their frenz taggin along.It was really fun and all.A gurls day out thing."Herbie" was such a fun movie.A typical Disney thing but it was sweet.The car was just really adorable.

I have to admit am a Lindsay Lohan fan too.Her movies and songz are cool.I still do like Hilary too.Both of them are good at what they do........ I guess.

At nite I watched "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" with my parents.It was just so fuckin' cool!!! I totally Loved it!! I read the book also so it was just so cool watchin the book you've read .The star of the flick was definately Johhny Depp,and so he has been added to my favourite actor list.Most of his flickz have been really coolio.His just so damn talented and not to mention HOTT.I just had so much fun watchin this flick.

It has been a great day....after such a looooong week...BAH....

In a very weird dream...

[Mood: Sick]

[Music: Blink 182 - Rock Show]

Livin in a dream,

Is better than reality,

I dont want 2 get hurt again

And this makes me happy anyway.

I know it seems so stupit at times,

But I guess it just fun,

I don't really take certain thingz seriesly,

Maybe its time I do.

To dream is fun,

To hope is good,

To do it is even better,

And to just forget is fucked up....

Why don't you just break my heart

[Mood: Happy]

[Music: Hilary Duff - The Getaway]

Everything around me is crazy,

And I feel the insanity,

I think am gonna lose it soon,

Or maybe I have.

Round and round,

Here we go playin this game again,

I dont know how long I can take this,

But miracalously am being patient,

You better watch out,

You think you know me oh too well,

But I bet you didn't know I can be mean too,

Thts the part I tend to hidea lotz...

*Why don't you break my heart,
And watch me fall apart,
Cause baby, You seem to be doin tht a lot lately*

Too quick and Just wayy too fast

[Mood:Bored]
[Music: Jason Mraz - Wordplay]

Dayz are goin by really fast,
It starts with Monday,and its like Sunday the very next hour,
I remember the beginning of January ever so slightly,
I thought March just started but then I realized I was dreamin'

Everything is goin' by way too fast,
I want time to last,something to hold on too
Apparently I learned tht somethings just dont last,
Even though how hard you try.

There's gotta to be a way to stop time,
To slow thingz down,
To make thingz last,
Even if it was just for a minute.

Theres Gotta be More In a Day....

[Mood: Blank]

[Music: Arkana - So Little Time]

Nearly my whole day was spent at the thearter.It was really fun!!

I watched Stealth and The Island.Both we're really cool movies...

The storyline for The Island was something kinda different,the speacial effects were really cool and all.Also Ewan McGregor is a totally hottie...(:P)

Stealth was very action packed.The actors were okish.The best parts of the movie were the flying scenes, which totally awesome!!

The best part of my day was...when I got in The Island which was an 18PL movie.LOL

Besides tht nothin much happened....

Theres gotta be more 2 a day......

Sometimes is seriesly wrong today

[Mood: Crazy]

[Music: Blink 182 - ALWaYz]

I love my laptop!! My skool,my tv,my music and the way I communicate with my frenz is in it(msn).If I was stranded on an island,the two things I have 2 have is my laptop and an internet system..I'll live happily ever after....I think..

Am currently downloading an episode of the Ashlee Simpson Show,Desperate Housewives and Summerland.Also 2 episodes of OTH.Never seen Desperate Housewives before,so I just wanna see whts the whole "whoo-haaa" everyones makin bout this.The story line seems kinda cool though.

I had tuition 2day.Usually when I start some sort of class..whether its organ class,tuiton...etc,it takes me sometime to get used to the teacher or something...you should see me in front of my organ class teacher,ur bound to laugh out loud....whenever he says something,all I do is smile and nod my head..like one of those weird dolls tht sits on the car dashboard...I have no idea why I react tht way..its not tht I have a crush on him or anything...*ewww* but I use 2 do tht 2 my tuition teacher to...whos a gurl...am not gay either!!!....but lately I've been opening my mouth and actually talkin to her......At last!!.....I have no idea why the fuck I do tht..........my teachers must think am some stupit wacko tht goes around noddin my head all day long...

Ok dear readers..LOL...more like crazy physco wackjobs who enjoys readin my writins...am sorry I havent wrote in lately...its just tht my head have been so very empty these past few dayz....

Dayz are going by empty

[Mood: Bored]
[Music: Jem - They]

Goin to the movies on a Monday is fun.
No lines - no huge headz blockin the screen - no bathroom crowds - and more leg room.
From now onwardz I shall go to the movies only on Monday.
The advantages of homeskooling........
Watched Fantastic Four btw.it was cool,not great but cool,too much yappin too little action.

My week has been very peaceful.Quiet yetz not dull.Uneventful yet calm.

Well I have some skool work 2 attend to.....ciozzz

Thts just my view...

[Mood: Sad]

[Music: Ashlee Simpson- Pieces of Me]

Its hard to find good people in a messed up world,

Where everyone hides their true identity,

But when you dig deep,will you find the truth,

And sometimes the truth hurtz.

Here I am,

Starin at the same window by the kitchen,

I love Ashlee Simpson's lyrics,

They alwayz remind me of wht am goin through,

Love makes the world go round but why is it so hard to find?

If only everyone owned a manuel on how 2 live.

The Perfect life,

Thank God theres no such thing,

For then no one will learn 2 survive.

Am the gurl who shows little outside,

But theres so much within,

I don' throw my feelings out,

I like keepin everything in,

Till someone has the gutz find outz,

Thts the way it is,

Thts the way I am.

Maybe

[Mood: Calm]
[Music: Marion Raven - Here I Am]

My dayz have been very quite lately and I have been very calm.
Everthing seems to be going on smoothly and nothing has been overly dramtic lately.
Thats really good....it really is

I watched "War of the Worlds" last week.Very cool speacial effects and all.A really cool flick.Tom Cruise is such a HOTTIE!!!
LOL
I know his really old..lol...yet his hot.

I guess thts the only intersting thing I did last week......not forgetting tht music talk I went for...it was kinda cool too...

I have organ class today and I have 2 head 2 church in the evening.I've Bible skool work to do today.

So I guess I have 2 start practicing the organ soon and start memorizing some stuff for skool.*siGh*

:+:Maybe it was wrong 2 let you go,
Maybe it was wrong 2 never show,
But sometimes it feels so right,
And maybe wht I did was right. :+:

I won't let you HIDE AWAY

[Mood:Free]
[Music: Hilary Duff - Hide Away]

Hiding Away

Losin' the day

As if it doesn't really matter

Saying Goodbye

Scared to say why

Afraid it will shatter our world

Show me some faith now

Trust me somehow

Why are we keepin' our secret

Why are we hiding ourselves away

Anyway we can hide away

I dont wanna fake it

I wanna make you believe, what I sayI wont let you...hide away

Where do we go

How do we know

What we're ever really after

Sometimes it's clear

When you are here

Nothing can shatter our world

I need some faith now

To trust you somehow

Why are we keepin' our secret

Why are we hiding ourselves away

Anyway we can hide away

I dont wanna fake it

I wanna make you believe what I say I wont let you...hide away

Maybe I, maybe I, maybe I'm losin'

Maybe I, maybe I, maybe I'm OK

Turn around, look around, go around in circles

Dont run away, drift away, dont hide away

Why are we keepin' our secret

Why are we hiding ourselves away

Anyway you can, hide away

I dont wanna fake it

I wanna make you believe what I say

Ohh but I cant

Believe what I said

I wont let you hide away, hide away

Hiding away, losin' my day

As if it doesn't really matter

I won't let you hide away.......

Save me,for I tried

[Mood:Blurry]

[Music: Goo Goo Dolls - Iris]

As I sat on the shore and watched everything around me,

Empty faces and scared hearts were all around,

There were some who were so close yet so far,

I have tried to reach out but they didn't want a hand,

What am I to do,

This place has become so dark,

And all I could do is watch while a tiny candle flickers,

As some walk toward the sea,and drown themselves,

I screamed and asked again if they wanted me to send them a boat,

But they can't hear me anymore,

As tears trickle down my face,

I see the ones I cared for sink down to the depths of the ocean,

When no one wants a hand,

I can't save them,no matter how hard I try,

All I can do is weep and pray,

That they will be saved.....somehow.

The Sea of life

[Mood:Bored]

[Music: Green Day - Minority]

As the endless length of sea stared at me,

And I looked futher,

The wind blew and assuraance swept over me,

I knew everything will be alrite.

Am dreaming and alwayz do,

About everything,

Past,present,future,

Fear and memories take over time to time,

Life shouldn't be this hard,

It really shouldn't,

Yet it is,

Why is there alwayz pain and suffering?

Theres something in the distance,

And I want it,

Its the length thats holding me back,

But I will get,

I will.....

I wrote this while I was at the beach.Thought I'll post it.....

Over it.....

[Mood: Confused]

[Music: Anneliese van der Pool - Over It]

How could you know

That behind my eyes a sad girl cried

And how could you know

That I hurt so much inside

And how could you know

That I'm not the average girl

I'm carrying the weight of the world

YEAH!

So can you get me outta here

[chorus]

Take me away

We'll jump in the car

Drive til the gas runs out and then walk so far

That we can't

See this place anymore

Take a day off

Give it a rest

So I can forget about this mess

If i lighten up a little bit,

Then I will be

Over It

I'm playin the role of the happy girl

But no one knows

Inside I'm alone

But I would never let it show I get everyday

Too much work and not enough play

Over and over,It's always the same

YEAH!
But you can make everything OK...

[chorus]

Take me away

We'll jump in the car

Drive til the gas runs out and then walk so far

That we can't

See this place anymore

Take a day off

Give it a rest

So i can forget about this mess,If i lighten up a little bit,Then i will be

Over it,Over it
And when the world is closin' in I can leave it all and just walk away I can always start all over again I am closer to a better day

If I lighten up a little bit,

Then I will be,

Then I'll be over it,

Over it,

I am Over It (over it)

Love this song speacially the lyrics....

It was great...

[Mood: Happy]

[Music:Ashlee Simpson - Sorry]

Heyz everyone,

I'm back.I had a good holiday and it helped clear my head a lot.

The beach is a beautiful place to think and let go everything thts in ur heart.

I went to Terengganu btw.It was a long drive,for like 4 hours.Half way through my sister decided to put the Jesse McCartney cd on and she was singing along to the whole cd .After a few songs,my mum become a fan too.*siGh* The entire journey had everyones favourite music on.There was fusion(my dad is into tht stuff),pop(me and my sis),and a bit of old stuff(my mum).....

The place was nice.Really quiet town where everyone loves the simple life.Ppl around there are mostly fisherman and all.There are major oil industries and all but most foreigners work there. The locals mostly have simple jobs.

My week was spent lazing,reading and writin by the beach,riding on 8tivies and speedboats,going for firefly watching and just chillin by the pool.It was total vacation.The funniest thing tht happened was when this guy gave me his handphone number.Yes ppl u read rite....LOL

There was this bunch of boyz who were working by the beach and everytime I passed, they'll try their best 2 get my attention and like on the 3rd day,one of them gave me his handphone number.LOL

Talk bout desperate...LOL

I had a great time....

This vaca really did me some good.

And so its back 2 quiet life.....